A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

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Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.
---

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:

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Dear Sir,

Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.
---

The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:

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Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.

We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.

Discuss with references to the text.

Golden Syrup makes for a pretty pov Toffee Apple

(the red and white netbook I am using right now is named Toffee after Toffee Apples, and I've eaten 3 toffee apples over the last week, 2 red and 1 green, so I will assume I am the Toffee Apple expert)

Pinky.The Dress-up[Joke]http://qgl.ausforums.com/index.php/439207/?agn=thread&id=2775981,accessed 18 August 2009.

Joke was s***.

On a related point; I love toffee apples.

(the red and white netbook I am using right now is named Toffee after Toffee Apples, and I've eaten 3 toffee apples over the last week, 2 red and 1 green, so I will assume I am the Toffee Apple expert)

Waaaiiiiittt. You can still get toffee apples!?!? Where??

Just over the river at my place Minxy :p


Edit, Um, say hi to Loki for us :)

okay I'm going to need a shop name or something, I have been missing toffee apples for years! Loki is currently sitting right behind me playing some game on his computer. I will say hi to him for you later when he's capable of hearing me lol

Coles sell toffee apples in the fruit and veg section

Serious? I haven't seem them there in years. I'll have to have a better look next time I go there. Thanks

Yeah, I thought it was funny seeing them there next to all the healthy stuff. I definitely know the Greenslopes Coles sells them.

Yeah, Safeway have em too. (Woolworths, Purity, Roelf Voss, whatever it's called out your way).

It all depends on the store, I know the woolies I work at had them.

Yeah, Safeway have em too. (Woolworths, Purity, Roelf Voss, whatever it's called out your way).

It's called Woolworths all over Australia, or rather it will be in the coming months.

last edited by greazy at 11:09:42 18/Aug/09

I'll just leave this here.

http://images.inmagine.com/img/imagesource/is717/is717004.jpg

Nice...toffee apple.

http://www.collegelaughs.ca/college-girls/candy-apple.jpg

I'd lick the toffee off those melons.

I definitely know the Greenslopes Coles sells them.

theyve always sold them. i always used to get one when i went shopping with mum when i was a kid.

Yeah, woolies at both chermside and chermside markets sell them. Quite often they are on quicksale and you pick them up for 50c each. But otherwise they are a couple of bucks

+1 to Pinkys post ... I LOVE TOFFEE APPLES a lot more now lol

doesn't a joke need to be funny?

also

BACK FROM B&, HOORAY

There is no such thing as a funny *anything*, the funny is always in the observer's mind.

well i suppose, but there's a point where most people bar weirdos would find something funny

Joke does not deliver.