I was reminiscing with some mates over the weekend about some of the weirder behaviour that alcohol has induced (reminding me of the Tucker Max thread asking readers to recall their most superhuman feats while under the influence) http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=19440.

1. One night I handed my n95 to one of my friends before going home, and they were like wtf are you giving us your phone for? Then I woke up in the morning no idea I had done this and called optus to cancel my phone. Went outside to get some anti-hangover fluids and the phone had been thrown against my house door by my mates on their way home in the cab.

2. On a regional sporting tour at Toowoomba me and some mates started quickly on tequilla, and by 2am we became separated after drinking away the opposing teams. I was found at 4.30am standing in the middle of a zebra crossing on the other side of the town and taken back to the hotel before playing the first match at 8am.

I am sure some more will come to mind...

man i'm not even going to begin, i don't have the time to write a page of stories

definitely does some f***ed up s***

memory blacking out for a few hours, but still functioning relatively normally is f***ed up

oh cmon don't be a boring c***.

i think making khe sahn enjoyable for some people is the strangest thing alcohol could ever do

as for stories, one hefty nite after the footy, we were drinking at the norman, when i did my usual trick of wandering off into the nite:

i sort of came to, walking around west end, no idea how i had got there:

had a slight recolection of banging on the doors at work at some stage of the nite trying to get in

man was wifey worried about me, she'd been out all nite looking for me;

although it mite not have been all alcohols fault, probably not smart having a few valiums at the pub with my 11 litres of beer :)

last edited by Spook at 14:00:24 23/Sep/08

When I'm drunk and start running down the street (for whatever reason) you feel like you can run at like 100km/h. Its prolly coz your falling forward as well...

My 2c

toasting in an epic bread
also
i am a crap drunk. no fun, just want to sit there and do nothing.

Ermmm one night we had a designated driver (I was 18), we were drunk as, throwing eggs at random people (did i say i was 18?), when the driver wound the window up.....unbeknown to me so i threw an egg straight into his window...it slid down the inside of the door and stunk the whole car out! They had to take the whole door apart and clean it out....he was a c******* anyway!! (Yes I see the irony of me calling someone a c******* when i was throwing eggs at people (ps i didn't hit anyone :())

Went outside to get some anti-hangover fluids and the phone had been thrown against my house door by my mates on their way home in the cab.

ps...your "friends" threw your 1k phone against your door? was the phone f***ed?

Probably the most f***ed up night I've had was way back in Yr12 when me and some mates went to a party out at Woody Point. We started walking from Scarborough with oodles of booze so that by the time we got to the party we were well f***ed.

And that's where I ended my night and alcohol took over. Next thing I see is the next morning waking up and smelling some breakfast on the BBQ. Over the following days everyone started piecing together the night that I had which involved pissing on a cop car, being chased by the cops, throwing up over a chick I had been getting some action from, passed out under a skate ramp and threw up in a cab.

seriously, some of you guys should strap a camera to your head so we can all laugh at your drunken antics.

ps...your "friends" threw your 1k phone against your door? was the phone f***ed?

no it pulled up surprisingly well, at least better than i did (i had credit card receipt evidence of $650 worth of bar tabs to prove it.)

last saturday i bought $170 worth of booze and took it to a party. yes i had already been drinking for about 5 hours before hand. but yes what a waste of money that was. had like 3 cartons and a few bottles of vodka. dont really remember much but i'd say i only drank about another maybe 10 beers.

i walked into the female toilets in that s*** hole of a club at the top of the mall on the other side adjacent to RG's, the bank i think ít's called

i walked in wondered where the f*** the piss trough was, so i pissed in the sink.... luckily no one saw me after i finished, washed my hands (at a different sink) this chick comes out from a toilet and is going nuts at me to get out i was like what the f*** is your problem (don't think i actually said anything to her, just wondered to myself what the problem was) so i left. then wondered why the bouncers kicked me out lol

i didn't remember any of that until about the thursday after

probably not one of my worst nights either.

when i was a juniour member (a long time ago) of the north caloundra surf lifesavers club i rode my suzuki dr250 from my place at westend to caloundra wearing a gorilla suit (it was nye fancy dress). got totally tanked on scotch... falling down the stairs too drunk to f*** as the saying goes ;p jumped on my bike (pre-rbt days orrjeh) at around 3am n rode through every public park in caloudra in my gorilla suit making loud monkey screechs then started riding home. started feeling a bit wonky by the caboolture turn-off & decided to goto my olds palce at narangba to sleep... got to the mackie road turn-off & went to sleep & crashed my bike into a gully on the side of the road.... didn't wake up either :p

an hour or so later my sister & bro-in-law who had been at the same party drove past n saw my up-ended bike in the gully with an unconscious gorilla lying next to it & stopped & woke me up. i only copped a sprained thumb ... kudos to drunken relaxed muscles ;d jumped back on the bike n went back to my olds with my sister following in her car. nps.

i have so many crazy drunken stories from my youth... but some may offend the more law-abiding types ;D

when the driver wound the window up.....unbeknown to me so i threw an egg straight into his window

ha reminds me of the time we were in a maxi cab and my friend did a wee in a cup and tried to launch it out the window only he didn't realise the window was closed. half the people in the cab got drenched in piss. I somehow managed to stay dry thank f***.

my up-ended bike in the gully with an unconscious gorilla lying next to it

You sir, are my new hero.

hahahaha some awesome stories here guys.

ROFL demon thats classic

moar pls!

Went to Ric's after drinking a bottle of $5 port. Woke up the next morning at a mate's house who I did not even see the previous night ??

last edited by thermite at 15:02:25 23/Sep/08

at defi's little brothers 18th birthday party, we thought it would be a good idea to each down a bottle (of rum) before the party began

my mum was there, everyone was s*** faced. i ended up tripping over a pushbike, falling into defi's sheds roller door and completely denting the f*** out of it and knocking it off its rollers (its f***ed now cause of it i think)

then got up in a fit of rage thinking some c*** had just tripped me and then punched me, settled down, proceeded to tell mum im driving home and that i was sober enough to drive. after failing to convince her i think i passed out there or someone dropped me home.


cleaning the next doors 7/11 windows with a mop cause i thought they were dirty and telling the worker dude he shuld be ashamed of himself.. zzz

existence, that story was almost incoherent enough to make me drunk


been drunk once, thats my story

Had a liquid lunch one day at tafe and rolled up to class
Teacher apparently asked me "Are you on drugs?"
Laughed, got kicked out of class.

Had a liquid lunch one day at tafe and rolled up to class
Teacher apparently asked me "Are you on drugs?"
Laughed, got kicked out of class.

he had to ask?

Yeah I know nF.

Ahh tafe. Yeah, those were some good times.

A couple spring to mind...

Back in my younger days went out in Lismore and consumed a s***load of piss and came to in the grass down by the river. Staggered home to a mate's place and bugged out for a while trying to sleep but couldn't as my neck was so itchy. Upon investigation found I had collected two fat grass ticks who were no doubt pretty cut themselves by that stage. No wonder they didn't want to dislodge, woulda been like being superglued to a giant vat of bourbon and coke with a straw.

Another time we went out after downing a bunch of drinks included a heavy dose of Black Sambuca. Partied on at The Tube and ended up getting mashed. Got a cab home to a mate's place, him and his girlfriend headed for their house and I somehow got lost between getting out the cab and getting inside. The next thing I remember was waking up in the passenger seat of a Commodore, which was parked in a carport. Not recognising the surroundings and a bit groggy I checked the glovebox for clues: nothing. I got out and started to wonder where I was. I contemplated going upstairs and knocking on the door, half thinking I was at a different mates house. I thought better of it and wandered down the driveway and out onto the road to discover I was in fact around the corner from my mate's who I had gone out with the night before, and I had slept in a complete strangers car.

I also woke up in an alley once and couldn't remember how I got there. The first thing I did was to check to see if I had been tampered with but luckily, no.

Also woke up in a paperbark swamp in the back blocks of Byron after a massive night on the piss where we suddenly discovered at about 4 in the morning we hadn't actually worked out how we were getting home to Lismore. My mate had to take a s*** and wipe his ass with leaves. He ended up with a leech too I think.

A recent drunken night ended up with the back glass sliding door removed from it's track and placed outside up against the house. I have no recollection of that whatsoever.

Another night after watching a rugby test match at the Muddy Farmer I got talking to a couple of Kiwi blokes and didn't notice my mate had gone home. Next thing I knew I woke up at his place on the lounge with one half of my eye all bloodshot. Ended up having to go to the PA hospital to have it checked and guessed that I left the pub, threw up on the way home and popped the capillaries during a particularly violent heave.

Ahh, good times.

you could have atleast lied a little bit and said they were kiwi chicks

umm yeah I could have said that *rolls eyes*

vege, i feel like we are brothers, in that i liked the tube and the muddy farmer also

i used to live at milton, was getting a cab home with my mate who i was living with and his girlfriend driving along the front of suncorp stadium at the bottom end of caxton st i managed to throw up on myself. gave no warning wasn't feeling sick or anything so the cabbie kicks me out and it was like a 5 minute walk home if that. this was at about 5am in the morning, next thing it's 7:30 i'm standing down the bottom of this street just next to the skate park thing, had no f***ing idea where i was, cause i'd never actually been down there before.. no f***in idea what i did in 2.5 hours cause i only moved maybe 100m from where i got out of the cab

ohh another good one..

schoolies, drunk way too much again, passed out, woke up at 3am to everyone getting home from being down on the beach all night, and since i had NFI what had happened i was like "cmon lets go to cavill!!" and everyones like weve been there all night u f***wit u passed out

i was sad :(

i live at windsor, got pretty loose last year after breaking up with my girlfriend started drinking in the arvo gets to about 3am at the good old vic then scene change its daylight and im standing in the park across the road from sandgate train station. guess it was about 6am so i had to catch the train back into the city then change trains to get to windsor. beats the feck outa me how i got there.

:) i dont feel so bad now... because my last 4months have been like this... the only difference is everyone says back when i was younger :( i am still doing it and i am old

back in the day i sued to do shift work, which was good for money, bad for drinking:

anyway, id been doing graves for weeks and weeks straight, finsihed work on the friday morning, stayed up all day playing q2, before going to mates place at milton (right behind the paddo) to drink and muck aboot;

so anyway, the boys are filling my glass with spirits just for lolz and ive got megablind pretty much straight away, wandered off into the nite again (didnt say anything to anyone, just ninja'ed out the door)

wokeup in the watch house at roma st, feeling poorly; must have looked poorly as one of the nice other inmates offered me up his square of carpet for me to lie on in the fetal position waiting for ben; noticed the nice policemen had taken my shoes and belt off me, no doubt so i could have a more comfy sleep, how nice!

anyway, asked the nice police if i could perhaps make a call to petal, to come pick me up, had to work at 7 in the morning, to which the nice policemen replied "get the f*** away form the bars", so i went back to my carpet square for a few more hours:

finally the nice policement have let me out, petals come and picked me up, and driven straight round to the boys place to give them an almighty serve for getting me so drunk (it wasnt my fault)

she's yelled at them for a about half an hour, before driving me straight to work;

took a massive vomit out the front of work, stained the bitumen, the stain is probably still there and this happened years ago, was an hour late for the shift, left old mate sitting around waiting for me:

ended up having to call the production manager to tell him i coudlnt stay at work, was too sick, and had nearly broken my foot at some stage of the nite, so could barely walk

still to this day dont know what i did to get picked up by the cops:

i used to play a heap of sport at lang park indoor sports, and that was just down the road, so no doubt i went for a wander to say hello or something :)

ah, good times

foot sore = probably kicked something = cops don't like when you do that

atleast it was long enough ago that you didn't get charged with 'public nuisance' and have to go to court

On the day my gf dumped me, i had an idea it was coming, anyways i was determined to go away to another sporting tournament with my mates and then came back to the unit I shared with my mates from the first night of matches and got the phone call. she lectures me for 30mins about why she is leaving me and then starts saying she will be gone by the time i get back and all the while this demon was scremaing inside me - "Get Drunk!".

So the bottle of Beam that I had gone halves with a friend over was quickly consumed entirely by myself and in the process I proceeded to annoy the 8 other friends I was staying with in our unit at Mooloolalaba but picking up furniture and offering it to them - "Free chair?".

They ended up bashing the s*** out of me for annoying them and then I passed out in my room groaning from the liquor crying out in pain, then spewed all over myself in the bedroom stinking the entire unit of vomit.

Woke up next morning and played volleyball like a cainor though.

Then there is the story of the unflushable turd but it is not fit for this boards R rating.

I stained a mates toilet after throwing up in it.. was his 21st and we were on it since about midday. Finished all our booze, drank the neighbours homebrew then started onto whatever we could find (Port) - got to about 7am and I spewed and passed out.

A week later we all catch up and he's asking who spewed because his toilet now has stain marks and he cant get them out.

i have a few as well but wont write 5 paragraphs like some have. my favorite one was drinking one night in LA on a stopover to tahiti, ended up drinknig with some random people and woke up in a jeep wrangler in mexico the next day :/

no papers, an empty wallet and no phone ... luck they came back for me and thier car lol

I used to get so drunk I would talk to trees and animals. I swear there used to be a green tree frog that would sit on my front steps and I would talk to it when I got home.

I used to get so drunk I would talk to trees and animals. I swear there used to be a green tree frog that would sit on my front steps and I would talk to it when I got home.

LOL!! I never understood how that happened to people ... last work party i was at I forced this english guy to drink vodka at my pace. well what a bad idea that was, the poor guy ended up getting so messed up he spoke to the toilet, then had conversation with a lake and decided to have a nap right on the shore

my most recent hilarious drunken night story consists of......

drinking my heart out and then meetin some 37 year old chick (im 22) before heading back to her place i ate a sausage and egg mcmuffin from maccas (my fatal mistake) went home and got into all nasty kinds of trouble (my first a2m experience.. she performed it on me.. and no i didnt kiss her aftewards.. yes it was a nice feeling) then whilst resting after i proceed to vomit up the sausage and egg in her bed and all over her stuff.

ended up running out of her apartment at around 9am stealing one of her t-shirts cause i vomitted all over mine...

didnt know where i was so i rang up spete/evis and got him to direct me to the nearest train station.

got off at central station and headed into work and did 4 hours of unpaid work on a saturday morning. got back to my house at around lunch time and slept till 6pm.

went to my brothers bucks night in dalby, tried to go drink for drink with country people which was never going to happen.


tackled a wheelie bin at a rugby game, got kinda walk-chased by police around the oval a couple times, some country dude was arcing up at me for some raisin, went to a bar

got sent home from the bar for an undisclosed reason (they never told me), got dropped off outside my brothers house, was too blind to actually see the house from the footpath, too blind to see the top of a street sign from the bottom, called my brother crying like a girl cos i didnt know where the f*** i was, so he had to describe his mailbox so i could locate the house.

woke up the next morning with my jockstrap around my lower back, remains of my underwear mostly up my ass, apparently from a wedgie id received about 6 hours earlier



all my drunk stories are s*** cos i drink vodka

hahahha wait


after the QGL RE night that time, me nF and pave and some other cool kids were walking down some toowong backstreet and we could hear computer games coming from this open window above a fence

and carroll is like break-in yo!, so i climbed the fence and got like half of my body in the window and there were these two guys in boxer shorts playing Team Fortress Classic.

And im like "YO MAN WHATCHA PLAYIN?" and one dude was f***ing scared s***less and hes like "err team fortress classic", and then his mate turns around and loses his s*** and starts running towards me all fired up, so i jumped back out and we walked away laughing

they had british accents

a2m is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself

jockstrap? lol

a2m that is some legendary s*** man.

after the QGL RE night that time, me nF and pave and some other cool kids were walking down some toowong backstreet and we could hear computer games coming from this open window above a fence

And the WuTang lyrics.. And the trolley on the street sign.. And I didn't steal that dudes money off the pool table at the normanby... etc etc etc.. Good times..

Basically alcohol grants the user teleporting abilities.

haha, that guy at the normanby.

trying to convince everyone he wasn't trying to plug the old bird.

and pave vs boxhead. classy.

Dont know if this counts cause it wasnt exactly while drinking but still out of it none the less, made a sandwich with just sugar on it and ate it thinking it was fairy bread, and for all I can remember it did taste like fairy bread.

f*** that was an epic night

thanks a lot viper, now i've got the biggest hankering for fairy bread


and even these guys think you never got a2m
http://www.worstpreviews.com/images/clerks2.gif

last edited by Mr Hardware at 18:58:09 23/Sep/08

and pave vs boxhead. classy.

Head to Head as it were..

We're still alright aren't we pave?? :p

of course we are bro

oh man im hoeing into this fairy bread eh
i forgot how good it is

Bought some fireworks in thailand got s*** faced and we hopped it on the bikes down to this empty hotel on the beach loaded up the fireworks on this skinny hand railing and when it blew up it fell off the railing and started smashing us in the face and body. Was hilarious and painful. Luckily I was smashed so didn't hurt much until the morning. Got it on video but dunno how to internet it.

6k posts and dunno how to internet, hmm bl :(

I too now have a hankering for fairy bread

do it minxy, its awesome

In 2004 I went out for a bucks night and got suitably trashed.

I caught a cab back to Kings college, wandered through the dorms to find my room H14. Strangely my key wouldn't work and I got a bit pissed off and kicked the door a few times before eventually giving up and going to sleep on the ground outside the door.

Some sober guy wakes me up at about 8am with a few kicks to the ribs wondering who the hell I am. Still drunk I reply "my key wouldn't work, so I just slept here"

Sober Guy "dude, I don't recognise you, what room are you in?"

Me: "H14 mate"

Sober Guy: "Nah mate, I'm in H14"

Me: "s***"

Sober Guy" "who the f*** are you mate?"

Me: "I f***ing live in H14, I'm sure of it"

Sober Guy pulls out key and unlocks door, I walk in and all his s*** is in the room.

I then came to my senses a bit and realised I moved out of Kings College in 1999 and now live in Toowong with my fiance....

hahahahahaha holy s*** spidz

haha :)

I think I'm outta sprinkley things Mr H :(

Spidz has won so far.

ahhahaahh spidz

I must be doing it wrong, I have no stories that are even f***ing remotely as crazy as some of these.

This thread needs more single mum stories!

Woke up in bed spooning an older woman.. and a mother of 2 haha

After dry reaching into her onsuite toilet, I called myself a cab and I ended up watching Scrubs on the couch with her and her children whilst waiting for it to show up..

Not sure where I met her, vaguely remember talking to her outside the kebab shop in the city and her saying she was too old for me, and me saying something awesome like, I'm _really_ mature for my age. Next thing I know, we're making out in the back of a cab going back to her house.

90% sure I didn't have sex with her.

I was at a prestigous dinner function where the wine and beer was included. I had been having a bit of a dry spell so I thought I could have a couple extra that night.

Anyways after about 3 bottles of white wine I was out of my tree and trying to get served more alcohol (because it was nearing midnight when they slowly turn the booze of at these 5 star type establishments). Still no booze eventuated.

Finally I yelled out as loud as I could thinking I was whispering to my mate "Who's dick did do I have to suck to get a drink around here!" When the party ground to screeching halt and everyone looked at me.

I think most people are holding back here because of legal issues, alcohol is definitely one f***ed drug.

First time I ever drank was at Grade 8 sailing camp, a mate and I drunk a full bottle of bundy straight in under 5 minutes.

After I had my last scull, I basically woke up the next morning, completely missed the past 12 hours.

I ended up roaming into the teachers tent during the night, smelling like bundy and absolutely blind and they were apparently struggling to get me out :S

My mate spent the entire night with the grade 12ers watching over him while he power chucked for hours on end.

Never drank bundy since.

Never drank bundy since.

To date I haven't ever been put off drinking something as a result of drinking way way way too much of it.. I don't enjoy heineken because i do get headaches after drinking it but not the classic 'oh i can't ever drink X-drink again or even bear to look at it..' Maybe i'm not doing it right..

Never drank bundy since.

I've done that a lot ... white wine I cant really stomach (from drinking a bit too much of goon), bourbon on its own I cant do neiter scotch or whiskey

luckily its all slowly wearing off and 10 years later i can sip on them without vomiting on the spot

i had a bad mixture of jack daniels doubles and winnie reds at the tallebudgera surf club when i was 18 - vomited until after i had nothing left to vomit
havent touched whiskey since, can't stand the smell/taste anymore

I cant drink vodka anymore after a 30th and pretty much finishing a bottle myself, didnt get up to any shenanagins just ended up watching borat after everyone left and laughing at every thing, even when something funny wasnt happening, and then throwing up hardcore.

Last Saturday I tried a backflip at our Grand-final celebrations for soccer. I only got about 25% the way around and basically knocked myself out.

Hahaha fantastic thread, i reakon demon and spidz win. One night, at a new place i just moved into with some mates it was either mine or shrapse's bday so we decided to have a small LAN (i was in the study and he was in the living room) and drink as much as we could while we played q3 most of the night. Anyways i've never EVER beaten him at a q3 duel and our very last game we were completely hammered and got to 13 all... he popped around the corner as i was about to pick up some an LG and pummeled me to death with about 10 seconds to go. Next thing you know we meet half way between the study and the dinning room, commando crawling towards each other attempting to pummle each other with the strength of a 90 yo woman with no arms.

Another night we were out at the casino anyways cut a long story short. Got blotto and ended up trying to catch a bus home (at the time we thought they still had the 24 hour w/e bus thing). Ended up at the "Crocidile Platform" wich we both burst into tears after reading, and couldnt find our way out of it for at least 15 minutes.

One more, I ordered a "special" bottle of vodka which i cant remember the name of from Victoria because it said it had Wormwood in it. Drank the bottle in about 5 drinks with redbull and ended up wrestling a giant green gorilla in the lounge room that my sister got from the ekka the week before :/

wreslted with it? more like made love in mid air

You loved it :)

Oh and quit doing nudie runs around my block and teabagging scoobys grill

yeh cant handle the smell tequila or taste... can only do it if i am drunk can lost my taste and smell... use to make my mageritas but use to put a shot of everything in and use to get smashed on 3 drinks...

This one isn't as funny, but its f***ed up.

Strangely (or not so?) it also involves Kings College.

In my first year there, we had a thing called the Goon Party. Basically a bunch of brand new wheelie bins are rolled in, filled with Goon, juice soft drink and cheap 'essence spirits' which are 45% alcohol and about $7 a bottle.

Everyone parties and just dips their cup/jug/mug/glass/head into the bin to refill.

Anyway, near the end of the evening - we decided to have a bit of a sculling comp using beer jugs and the goon from the bins. It was a knockout event with heats of 4 people. Stupidly, just to make the final you needed to skull 3 jugs of the rocket fuel just to make the final.

I ended up winning the comp and powerchucking from the Upper J balcony (just down the hall from H block !) and its alleged there was an unbroken line of spew from my mouth to the ground 30 feet below.

Anyway, I sort of felt ok after the spew and continued drinking until the wheelie bins were empty. We went down to one of the lower dorms and cracked a carton of VB throw downs and started playing cricket in the hallway. I was understandably tanked by this point and while fielding at short leg I just collapsed.

My mate pushed me into a dorm room, called me soft and told me to sleep it off. I was in a world of pain and my chest was killing me. I managed to get my foot in the doorway and yelled at the boys that I wasn't in a good state. they ignored me for a while before I started really groaning with pain.

They leant down and my chest appeared to be about to explode, so we called an ambulance as they thought I was in cardiac arrest. Ambo arrived and said my heart was cranking along at 261 beats per minute, so that explained the chest thumping and pain.

Got rushed off to hospital, and had to have the 1,2,3 clear pads applied to try and kick the heart back into normal operation.

Long story short, I experience something called an acute atrial flutter. Was in hospital for 2 weeks and lost 20kg's. Turned out I had a pre-existing condition that was set off by te extreme alcohol consumption. I took pills for it for 6 years, but have since been given the all clear.

I was careful with alcoholf for about 6 months after that night!

that crazy spidz.... but nice story...

ahh man... i've got lots.. it gets worse when your travelling through europe as well.. i'll go a tamer one though.

Was at some party back during last year of school in Brisbane, can't remember anything about the night or the party, not a thing. I woke up in a random front garden on sunday morning with the owner of the house hosing me with his garden hose.

I was wet from the hose, but i also appeared to have pissed myself at some point, so i was soaking wet, 8am, no money, no wallet, no phone, nothing at all, and no idea where i was or what had happened.

I walked accross the road to a bus stop that had a bus going into the city, bus rocks up, i get on the bus, wet and shivering from the cold.. all messed up.. and say to the bus driver "i don't have any money", he just looks at me and says "rough night mate?", let me on the bus free.

Another good one is my 18th, can't remember anything, woke up on a train in caboolture, north of brisbane. Also i have actually woken up in a gutter one time.

teeheehee europe..

Hot tip: Amsterdam is a nasty place.. specially when you end up on a coach travelling north of the city, your pockets have some sort of green sludge in them, you've lost 6 hours of time and you later find out that 600 pounds was withdrawn from your account but you still have your bank cards, wallet and phone but you also have an intriguing little baggie that did at some point contain something resembling caster sugar in it..

These are all from 5+ years ago.

1. I was at a pub with a bunch of mates and it closed at 3am. Couldn't get a cab due to it being changeover time in Sydney so started to walk to a mates house with 2 girls who were from my group of friends. Got about 1km into our walk, we were all really drunk and 2 cops in a paddy wagon drove past and looked at us and kept driving. 5 minutes later they drove back the other way and pulled over next to us.

So we stopped to talk to them. They asked us where we were going, and we told them, they said that was pretty far to walk and then after discussing it amongst themselves offered us a lift. The condition was that we had to ride in the cage and not in the twin cab because they could get into trouble if anyone sees us.

So we think this would be awesome and all pile in. So we are a few minutes into our journey and the two girls start making out in front of me in the back. One thing leads to another and we all end up naked doing things we shouldn't be in a cop vehicle. Time passes and suddenly the paddy wagon stops and there is a mad scramble to get clothes back on. The back door opens and we pile out and the cops just shake their heads. Turns out my mate wasn't home after all and we all had to walk from there as the cops wouldn't drive us anywhere anymore.

2. Started the night with a BBQ at a mates house, then we moved on to a local night club. One of my mates was underage at the time so we told him to wait around the side of the club near a firedoor that opens onto the dance floor in the club. We wait for the dance floor to get some people and they fire up the smoke machine. As the floor fills with smoke we bust open the door and my underage mate dances in. Bouncer walks over, not seeing what happened and can't figure out if anyone came in. Closes the door and the night carries on.

3. Same night as 2 but hours later. I was wearing a white shirt in the club. I black out and my memory starts again and I look down and I am covered in blood. I go up to my mate who had the BBQ and ask for the keys to his apartment so I can go back to change my shirt. He asks what happens and I tell him I have no idea. I go back to his place, change my shirt and promptly pass out on his lounge. Later in the night my friends try to go home but I can't be woken by the intercom so they climb 4 floors by standing on balcony rails and climbing onto the balcony above till they get to my mates apartment.

In the morning I wake up, still no idea what happened, not a single cut or bruise on me but my wallet is missing.

4. I was out in Sydney with some mates and I wake up naked and I am next to this blond surfer girl in some place that I don't recognise. I figure I can't remember last night so I should repeat whatever I may or may not have already done so I wake her up and its business time. Turns out I am in her parents house so I get dressed for a quick get away and as I open the door from her room to leave, her brother's room is opposite, and he is in his room and sees me. He asks who I am and starts getting really s***ty, telling me his sister has a boyfriend who is a mate of his. He walks down the hall wearing no shirt to get to the phone to call his mate. Tattooed across his back is the name of an extremely well known violent Sydney surfer gang. I sprint out the front door and down the street heading for the main road. I jump in front of a cab driving down the main road, get in and speed away.

As of July this year I stopped drinking.

last edited by ara at 00:41:19 24/Sep/08

Hot tip: Amsterdam is a nasty place.. specially when you end up on a coach travelling north of the city, your pockets have some sort of green sludge in them, you've lost 6 hours of time and you later find out that 600 pounds was withdrawn from your account but you still have your bank cards, wallet and phone but you also have an intriguing little baggie that did at some point contain something resembling caster sugar in it..

what the hell boxhead? wheres that? i live just east of centraal and havent seen anything like that lol

got a 2l bottle of coke, drunk enough rum to jam a 1.25 L bundy rum or w/e size the bigger ones are.... proceeded to a friends 18th.. everything was going smooth until the ride home, mate thought it'd be funny to do fishies...

i thought it was funnier if i threw up in his car :) So they kicked me out, made me walk home apparently i was staggering all over the road and they had to put hazard lights on (they trailed me home). I got home and my bro was still up, he tried to get me in the shower as i was throwing punches at him (cracked the bathroom door and mirror). He eventually got me in fully clothed with bloody fists.. got me out and i pretty much passed out there.

woke up in the morning went out to the kitchen table, my phone was in pieces on some absorbant cloth cause i had spewed all over it and he had to clean it. My wallet was in pieces throughout the front yard, i found 1 of my thongs down the bottom of the street, my bag was on the roof even though i didn't even take my bag with me to the party and i felt pretty bad.

needless to say never touched rum again

last edited by Raider at 02:56:53 24/Sep/08

Hahah Raider what happened to the shennanigans in the back of the police car??

i don't have a clue where it happened in Amsterdam, needless to say I wasn't a drug user beforehand and I haven't been a drug user since and won't be in the future..

Pro tip: Drugs are bad mmmmmmkay...

Hahah Raider what happened to the shennanigans in the back of the police car??

i don't have a clue where it happened in Amsterdam, needless to say I wasn't a drug user beforehand and I haven't been a drug user since and won't be in the future..

Pro tip: Drugs are bad mmmmmmkay...

why do you say that :/ is green is good

is white is better

hahaha boxhead on coke, i'd pay $250 to see that


s*** i've seen how he drives sober

I'll ump on for another story, bit tamer this time.

Went to a 21st in Keperra and got suitably boozed up. Left at about midnight (according to others) planning to catch the train home to Toowong.

I woke up at 7am at Cleveland station on the platform. I'd even gone to the trouble of removing my shoes and socks and rolling my socks up and trying to use them as a pillow. I had neatly placed my shoes, wallet, phone and keys next to my head and they were still there - even the cash in the wallet.

How the hell I got there I will never know, as I assume I would have had to change trains a couple of times to get from Keperra to Cleveland, when trying to get to Toowong!

I'm still laughing at Spidz post.

Also the time spidz took a piss on a baby.

schoolies, drunk way too much again, passed out, woke up at 3am to everyone getting home from being down on the beach all night, and since i had NFI what had happened i was like "cmon lets go to cavill!!" and everyones like weve been there all night u f***wit u passed out

I was in Queenstown a year or two ago with two mates and we had another mate who lived there. The first day we were there the guy that lived there had been telling us how we have to go to a place called World Bar that sold cocktails from teapots. We were all amped to go to it but went out and got hell drunk and had no idea what was going on. The next day we were all sitting around discussing how we forgot to go to the teapot place and agreed we'd start there that night....at the same time the guy who lived there was going through one of our cameras and pointed out that there was a bunch of photos of us drinking cocktails from teapots. We lolled.

The fact that the three of us had no recollection of doing something we'd been talking about doing all day....kind of makes me a little surprised that we found our way home safely on our first night in a foreign country. I seem to have a sixth sense of homing pigeon ability +5 when I'm drunk....I very rarely remember the end of a night but I always wake up in bed safely. Crap I hope I didn't just jinx myself. I'm staying home this weekend.

ha just read spidz's story which reminds me of a funny story my mate told me:

my mate used to be a labourer and worked with a building crew of major alcos....they'd drink half a bottle of scotch each morning on the way to work and finish it off at morning tea with their coffee then hit the beers at lunch time... literally each day....not meager weekend warriors like my mate and myself. Anyway one of them was a big kiwi who went on a bender one day in Australia and woke up 4 days later in NZ with absolutely no idea how he got there.

A few years back I was dating this girl that went to Shaftson, there were 2 lesbians in her class that lived half on the mainland/half on coochie mudlo island. This was the first night I was going to meet them, we took the ferry over.

Anyway I drank a full bottle of vodka in under an hour, completely blanked out.

Turned out I pissed in their cupboard, all over their clothes :S

Good first impression, could never face them again.

spidz its one train ferny grove to cleveland line

I don't drink much any more, but a few days past hitting 18 I was at a pretty quiet party, went to it with the knowledge of it being a pretty quiet party.

So to make things a little more lively I entered a competition with a friend of mine - just to see who could demolish a 750ml bottle of vodka straight faster and be the most abusive. We'd come up with this plan fairly early in the day so to get a definitive lead I decided to enter in to the evening with only having some cereal for breakfast

Rocked up to the party, I'd been declared the winner roughly 40 minutes after arriving, with the finished bottle in hand and straight on to some mids..

From there things get a little blurry.. the last memory I have of the evening involves me attempting to crawl across a tiled floor using only my chin.

One of my good mates packed me in to his car and got driving me home - apparently about 35 minutes through the drive I needed to get out to take a slash... there was a bit of a clutter and smash of noise so he jumped out to check what had happened and I'd managed to trip on a curb and plant some glass in my chin..

Got me home and my mate and my brother ended up holding me over the toilet while I threw up for a good while, apparently alternating between yelling "f*** you" "teach you how to drink" and laughing hysterically.

Woke up in my bed around midday the next day surprisingly feeling fantastic, walked to the bathroom and noticed a toilet with a decent amount of blood over it and places.. looked at the mirror and noticed about 4 bandaids on my chin.. bruises on my legs.

Went upstairs said hi to my mate who seemed stunned that I was even awake and incredibly chirpy. Jumped in the car with him, drove to maccas to get some after drinking cheeseburgers upon which he spent the car trip explaining to me just what had happened and how much of a complete asshat I was.

Can I just say you have not been truly smashed till you have pissed or shat yourself. I have pissed myself, I did it in Ireland and dried off in front of a fire. I was that drunk I forgot to take my dick out. f*** it was funny the next day.

i can't see too many people admitting to s***ting themselves heh

Ages back we were driving home from the city and did a side track into Strathpine to drop a mate of at his house.. I decided at that point in time I really needed to s*** so I stumbled into his place (living with his parents), found my way to the s***ter and all hell broke loose - one of those bad after curry experiences. Mid-s***/splatter/torrent I got the reverse urge happening and realised I was going to puke.

What does one do in this situation? Grab the bucket beside them? Spew on the floor and clean it up? .. or get off, quickly turn around and spew into the same toilet you've just done a rancid filthy s*** into. I did the latter.

Once I got over the perpetual spewing, sniffing my own s***, spewing again, etc I finally finished up and walked out to see my mate's parents wind up for the almightiest of verbal attacks. Instead I must have looked pretty ordinary and instead they laughed and told me to have a shower.

Ahh.... Thursday $1 drinks at Alices - those were the days.

not me but a mate shat in a mates laundry at his party and blamed it on the dog when they found it in the morning

i can't see too many people admitting to s***ting themselves heh

My brothers mate did it years ago when we were out and he turned them inside out. How we did laugh but to his credit he stayed out and kept drinking.

i can't see too many people admitting to s***ting themselves heh

I have a friend that has admitted to doing it. A real friend, not one of those friends of a friend. He had to spend the next day in hospital hooked up to a drip because he was in a bad way.

Once I got over the perpetual spewing, sniffing my own s***, spewing again,

See I never get bored of that smell. it's so awesome!

hence you joined the liberal party?

no, hence i keep binge drinking!

Only time i ever lost my memory was after hitting up too many 'waterfalls' then heading to fams. I think it was chatruce, sambukka, absynth lit on fire.

Ahh.... Thursday $1 drinks at Alices - those were the days.

heh, I was the duty manager there for 3 years.

Hence my alcoholism.

fpot needs to re tell his christmas party story, it f***ing out does anything anyone has posted in this thread.

Everytime i get pissed its a wild story, so cbf at the moment talking about the 1000 times ive done something crazy..

I guess walking 20kms after a night on the piss is a good one.

Khel's brother shat himself in my ( and Typo's ) laundry about 10 years ago.

fpots brother shat himself all over these forums a few years back

Everytime i get pissed its a wild story, so cbf at the moment talking about the 1000 times ive done something crazy..

I guess walking 20kms after a night on the piss is a good one.

hehe I did that once as well but i think it was more like 30km .... slept on bus stops for breaks

hehe coochie - i was drinking from the teapots at the world bar on friday night :] got pretty wobbly and nearly saved a beached whale lol

queenstown rules !

pls DIAF

Love OP.

kevin wins the thread.

kevin will wake up tomorrow in a different suburb with no memory of posting that

Alcohol makes you write total non sequitur posts.

Got a friend drinking for his first time, he was drinking these cheap arse bottles of ginger beer flavoured grog called Z and they cost $1 a bottle. They were weaker than a light beer and by the time he'd had 3 of them he was f***ed.

Firstly he was yelling at the top of his lungs when he spoke, secondly he couldn't stop laughing at anything people said and thirdly out of nowhere he just pipes up 'I wanked off over a guy just to see what it was like'. Everybody went dead quiet for a few before they all pissed themselves laughing at him. Dunno if everyone else forgot but he didn't seem to cop any grief for it the next day either...

Best I've probably done happened one night on the town with some friends. It was only about 2:30 or so and a few of em had decided they wanted to call it a night and were heading home. I was a bit silly at the time and said 'f*** you c8nts you'll have to throw me in a taxi, its only 2:30', I then proceeded to run away from them as fast as I could. They picked me up about an hour later, they'd given up looking around the clubs and s*** and spotted me on the way home in the cab. I'd made it about 4kms from where we started. Not bad considering I dont think I'd fare that well sober!

my best walk was from hotel la to broadwater rd(mt gravatt) after a work xmas party

i sure showed teh bouncers there who woudlnt let me in who's boss!

why the f*** would you walk that far?

I've done Northgate to Scarborough (Redcliffe).

That would have been a solid 25k

hehe coochie - i was drinking from the teapots at the world bar on friday night :] got pretty wobbly and nearly saved a beached whale lol

queenstown rules !

Curse you for being there and me being in my drab assed office! Oh well, going to Europe for a month in a month...should be hell sweet.

I've done Northgate to Scarborough (Redcliffe).

That would have been a solid 25k

A friend of mine walked home from Bribey Island when we were at school...he lived at Newmarket at the time. This was the day after a big night...so it probably was more sheer stupidity that made him do it rather than alcohol.