'Stoned wallabies make crop circles'

Australian wallabies are eating opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around "as high as a kite", a government official has said.

Lara Giddings, the attorney general for the island state of Tasmania, said the kangaroo-like marsupials were getting into poppy fields grown for medicine.

She was reporting to a parliamentary hearing on security for poppy crops.

Australia supplies about 50% of the world's legally-grown opium used to make morphine and other painkillers.

some of the comments were lol

I have seen a stoned wallaby but I don't know about them making crop circles. The one I saw was slurring his words and asking me for a dollar as he was trying to get the boat to see his brother in New Zealand - he looked in no mood to be formulating a series of complex agricultural design patterns. I could be wrong - they might have masterminded the twin tower attacks, who really knows?
Dijon, Hobart, Tasmania

thought this was another faceman thread

Rofl what a load of s*** this is just a cover story.

Train them wallabies.. and you got yourself some opium

thought this was another faceman thread

Surprised this wasnt a news.com.au story.

Everyone knows drunk bogans are responsible for all the circle work.

Australia supplies about 50% of the world's legally-grown opium used to make morphine and other painkillers.

What?

Where the hell did they get that stat?

lol, you can't even find opium in Australia... 50% of the worlds opium, lolz.

Someone should go tell Afghanistan to move over, because apparently Australia is producing more opium then they are :S

Tasmania is one of the world's major suppliers of licit opiate products; government maintains strict controls over areas of opium poppy cultivation and output of poppy straw concentrate; major consumer of cocaine and amphetamines

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/AS.html

legally-grown opium.

Read it again, CHUB.

Perhaps.

The US now controls large amounts of opium fields throughout the world that aren't listed on the legal opium production... so either something fishy is going on or there's going to be a change soon.

There's no opium blackmarket in Australia, there's none in Tas either.

What a bunch of fail, security and regulation must be tight.

Read it again, CHUB.

Yes I read it.

Where's all the opium going from these US controlled fields in Afghanistan?

last edited by CHUB at 21:22:37 26/Jun/09

you're a f***ing twat chub, LEGALLY GROWN.

So what's the other stuff?

If they were illegal fields, it would be destroyed, that's not the case though.

illegally grown, duhh.

If they were illegal fields, it would be destroyed, that's not the case though.

Actually, the US has turned a blind eye to opium in Afghansitan because destroying opium fields would hurt Afghanistan's economy before it would hurt the Taliban.

CHUB is just jealous his tiny poppy field is being over shadowed by someone elses and he's lookin for someone to stab.

The US now controls large amounts of opium fields throughout the world that aren't listed on the legal opium production... so either something fishy is going on or there's going to be a change soon.

holy conspiracy theory batman

Conclusive proof that too much drugs will turn you into a paranoid FaceMan-esque freak.

How's it a conspiracy theory?

The US controls the fields, they choose not to destroy them... this is a FACT.

So the US military is guarding the fields, allowing them to produce opium... where is this opium going? To the blackmarket? Yeah sure guys, now THAT would be a conspiracy.

Someone is buying the opium obviously, if it's not going to the blackmarket where is it going?

I used to play hockey with a guy who was in the British military, who had just got back from Afghanistan. He said once you get out of the cities, all you can see is poppy fields, but they can't do a thing about it as they aren't there to control that part of the country. They are simply there to control the peace and fight the taliban. The occupying forces have no international governance over what they farm, nor does the Afghanistan government try to control it themselves. So the growing continues, ends up making 90% or something of the world's heroin, and funds the Taliban. And there's not a thing the Americans/Brits/we can do about it.

Hmmmm, I don't know about that.

Susssssssssssssssssss.

What they are trying to do is encourage farmers to look at other crops, but the money they make/pressure they have placed upon them by the Taliban means it's very hard to be convinced otherwise.

Hmmmm, I don't know about that.

Susssssssssssssssssss.

They don't want to enrage the local population by taking away their only source of income. They are there to fight the Taliban and search for Osama - this mission would be impeded if they decided to engage in an anti-drugs crusade at the same time. As we learned in Iraq, IEDs are f***ing nasty.

The simplest explanation is usually the truth CHUB, stop looking for f***ing zebras.

last edited by Hogfather at 12:17:18 27/Jun/09

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/27/magazine/27AFGHAN-t.html

Meanwhile... WHERES FACEMAN

yeah chub this has been widely reported

They don't want to enrage the local population by taking away their only source of income.

Not only that, they're there to "liberate and help rebuild". They're not there to enforce local laws nor apply the laws of their home country on the nation.