Back story: A friend had sort of been seeing this girl... one Saturday night at about 1am, some stranger bursts through the doors with a bunch of flowers to surprise the girl my mate was asleep in the same bed with... awkward! After my friend politely excused himself from the situation, leaving a bit of yelling behind, he soon learned that the guy was the chick's ex (or, in the guy's mind, the current boyfriend).

As if that's not funny enough, this guy gets my mate's email address and writes him the following email. I've changed all the names to conceal the identities of all involved.

"Hello peter,
This is charles, melissa's boyfriend. Now I am not going 2 abuse you in this email and I am sorry for being so forward on our first/ last encounter. I don't know if u want 2 tell me this stuff or not but I was think, if u tell me the truth then either 1 of 2 things will happy, if u say u haven't done ne of the following or u explain the following and I see that you haven't done nething bad, then I will bite my tounge and im sure u and I could atleast be friendly aquaintences, or if you have done ne of the following then I will say thank you for telling me, and I will walk away and neva bother you or melissa again. So either way it can't be that bad.
I was wondering have you and melissa done anything sexual? This includes kissing any where other than the cheek.
How many times have you guys shared a bed? Includes being fully clothed and with groups of ppl.
Did melissa go to greg's going away party the night I busted out of the closet on you guys?
Has melissa stopped hanging out with you on the weekends/evenings now that I am back in brisbane?

Melissa and I have trust problems that is y I am asking you, so if u could clear this stuff up then, either I will be able to trust melissa and inturn then be able to trust you 2 being 2gether/ feel comfortable, or I will walk away from her and you guys can contiune 2 be friends with out me intruding, or what eva u guys want 2 do."

f***ing lol on so many levels.

pretty lol

tell us more about this crackpot and what fireworks went off when he busted in on your mate putting one through this bird

Haha .. oh dear.

I was wondering have you and melissa done anything sexual? This includes kissing any where other than the cheek.
How many times have you guys shared a bed? Includes being fully clothed and with groups of ppl.

I feel kinda sorry for this guy, she's got him moree than a bit f***ed up for this to seem like a sane discussion.

haha what a wacko

After my friend politely excused himself from the situation, leaving a bit of yelling behind

your mates a pussy btw.

Im left wondering how the x got your mates email address.

your mates a pussy btw.

hahaha can just imagine what some swift strex justince would be.

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/funny-pictures-kangaroo-punch.jpg

"yer im f***in her.. so what"


hahahhaa

This thread has left me confused...very confused.

hahaha poor guy

sounds like the chick is a shady bitch as well though

tell him to use the Bill Clinton defence

f*** that email was painful to read :)

I am betting he smashed it hard - and messed it.

We need our own Jerry Springer Show.

How many times have you guys shared a bed? Includes being fully clothed and with groups of ppl.

Need to know more about this group business please, kthxbi.

Trust issues huh.. I'd say it's time to pull the pin when you find her in bed with another dude.

Haha yeah I think that goes beyond "trust issues"

This guy has major issues with denial. He needs to get the f*** over it and move the f*** on.

The chick obviously isn't playing straight with either of the guys. Or at the very least hasn't been clear enough with the "ex" b/f, personally that makes her a slut imo.

hahaha thats awesome. sounds like the girl was too mincy to tell this bloke shes broken up with him, perhaps to avoid the drama of it and assumed the guy would work it out for himself.

http://gothamist.com/images/milton_looks.jpg

excuse me i believe you have my girlfriend

Trust issues huh.. I'd say it's time to pull the pin when you find her in bed with another dude.

nah they are just friends, and they were studying and must have fallen asleep.

wait ... her name was Melissa? maybe you should tell your mate he was banging a dude...

hahaha

Holy crap, that guys grammar is f***ing awful!

Yeah he writes like a 12yr old girl with an SMS texting addiction.

He needs to stop the 'jibber jabber' and get some nutz.

Yeah he writes like a 12yr old girl with an SMS texting addiction.

He needs to stop the 'jibber jabber' and get some nutz.

Right on sister, I thought it was boring as bat-s*** and couldn't see anything funny in it other than him being a big vag

lawl

omg @ those 2 phonecalls! lol.

^wtf.. what a f***ing creep.

pics of lying.

Hahaha

That phone message was f***ing awesome

Can we get pics of said slut pls?

i would like to know more about this group of people that hang out together and kick it

so I found out the story is slightly funnier than I thought... the ex was actually hiding the chick's closet, waiting for her to come home to surprise her with a bunch of flowers. So my mate and this chick jump into bed to do the bad thing and he comes out. No idea how long he was waiting in there for, or how long my mate was in bed before he came out.

I saw both the chick and the "ex" at the pub the other night and they looked like they were a couple again. The guy definitely looked completely clueless, and the chick is a well known slut.

waiting in the closet with a handful of flowers.

guaranteed success.

haha, thats gold

Haha wow if the relationship wasn't over beforehand, I'd say hiding in her closet would definitely be enough to kill it

"believe it or not, im a catch"

"im one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him, im givin u the 3 o'clock deadline"

"if ur on any sort of medication, anxiety depression.. Im not interested"

hahahaha man this guy loves himself and he looks about as greek as cathy freeman

"I busted out of the closet on you guys?"

the chick is a well known slut

Has anyone told the ex that yet?

I saw both the chick and the "ex" at the pub the other night and they looked like they were a couple again.

Wait, wat?

waiting in the closet with a handful of flowers.

guaranteed success.

Well it worked.

so to get back together with a chick you need to come out of the closet? right...

I am in your closet masturbating to you having sex but here are some flowers I brought with me to keep the fresh salty smell out of the air.

just like in blue velvet.

I love qgl.