once upon a time there was sniper...

One time I went hunting with my mates down near St. George we were working on a cotton farm down there. Our favourite thing on a friday afternoon was to load up the pick up with cider and cruise down by the lake.
Being new to the whole gun thing I was a bit cautious about using one. I rested the SLR against my chest and something clicked inside my head. It was like an electricial storm that was oozing slowly down my head.

Anyway we jumped back in the pick up and went for a drive around to see what we could see. After about 5 minutes of driving my mate turns to me and says "Is anything wrong?". I looked down and I was clutching the SLR like it was a baby made of gold. I responded with a "Nah, im fine just a bit nervous".

We didnt notice the thick black storm clouds approaching fast behind us. The rain and the lightning jumped upon us as if it was a vicious Panther lying in wait for an ambush. The pick up hit a rock and sent me and the other 2 guys flying from the backtray into the scrub just off the side of the road.

I woke up after what seemed like a week of dreams and the sun was shining down through a thick cluster of branches that hung over my head. I could not tell where I was. I looked myself over and found my SLR resting next to me and my clothes semi-intact. I had a large gash in my forhead which stung as the light peirced my eyes.

I called out to my mates "ROY, JOHN...IS ANYONE OUT THERE?" there came no response but a large flock of birds arching out of a nearby tree.

I walked down to the creek and washed the dry blood taste out of my mouth and cleaned a couple of cuts on my legs, when suddenly there was a sharp cracking noise coming from behind me. I spun as best I could and almost out of reflex lifted the SLR to my shoulder and pointed it at the disturbance.

I pig came running out of the bushes. I let out a shaky laugh and watched it as it went down to the creek for a drink. I sat their and watched this animal for what seemed like an eternity. I felt something that I knew was bad but somehow it was urging me to do it.

I walked over to the pig as it was drinking placed the tip of my SLR right at the base of its skull and pulled the trigger. BAM!!! it was the most god awful noise I had ever heard I got rushed with blood and gore and could taste the sour sensation of pigs blood in my mouth. I wiped my eyes and looked down and saw what was left of the pigs head dangling over the creeks edge with litres upon litres of blood pumping out of the Animals neck. The blood was slowly making its way down the river. It reminded me of a lava stream I had seen on the TV.

I examined the rest of the pigs body and noticed how human the creature actually looked. I touched its back and could still feel the warmth left in the body.
Something came over me and I felt the badness again. I raised the SLR again and shot the animal again in the stomach. I saw intestiens splatter all over the dark blood stained ground. BAM! I shot it again in the shoulder I could not help it, it felt like sex. BAM! I shot it again and again until I heard the almost relieving click of an empty mag. I collapsed over the pig and began to cry. I could feel its warm wet guts seeping through my clothes.

he was not good at snipering at ALL!!!

oi this is my stuff..

all rights reserved dangles thankyou very much..


but to continue the story, he was taking aim and suddenly the scope fell off!!

to his dismay, he realized that something was really badly wrong when plague jumped out from the bushes behind him...

With Mandy trailing behind him naked.........

keep it clean

shhh i here something.....

to snipers shock, strex appeared out of nowhere and..

its necra someone shut her up pls even if you have to shot her she is being a pest

strex looks a necrs and shrugs

and pulled out his big..........

don't f*** the story...

strex waived his magical penis at plague and sniper...

and they both get down on the ground, praising StreX

mandy turns to everyone and says " I'm only 14, i don't belong in this story, its too adult for me, my mommy will ground me "

then she says oh well who gives a f*** and stays!!!!!

StreX turns to mandy and tells her to shut the f*** up, so mandy pokes tounges( in her little 14 year old way ) and walks off, and goes and plays with her barbie dolls.

Mandy has named one of her barbies Necra cuz it has wonky eyes

StreX felling sorry for poor Mandy decides to go and play dolls with her

necra however, prefers to stay right where his is and give it to sniper up the spadger

Sprinkles comes in and puts the smack down on all your roody poo candy assess

dangles applauds sprinkles for his action :)

dangles and sprinkles do a tag team on everyone :)

Except sprinkles always goes first cause he hates stirring the porridge

Mandy picks up one of her barbies and banges necra on the head with it...

DecayingCorpse realizing that he could be outdone, calls upon all his allmighy strength, rips strex's "largish" cock off and beats off the attack from dangles and sprinkles

sprinkles slaps dangles and he springs into action laying major smackdown on StreX

sprinkles and dangles not worrying about the tag teams rules grabs DecayingCorpse and smashes him into the nearest tree

sniper realizes that there could be porridge at stake, jumps in and starts going crazy

Sprinkles rubs his testicles and holds his hand high and the smell knocks everyone out

DecayingCorpse grabs dangles dangley bitz and starts to feed them to sniper who is still obsessed about that f***ing poridge

then snipers shouts out....

look ma..no Hands!!

plague appears and says...

wtf...

why arnt i in this action....

Plague jumps in head first

and gets a face full of poridge....

PeaceKeeper comes in and says:

Peace and luv to all :D

sniper fires a bullet and it smacks PeaceKeeper in the chest

peacekeeper says "WTF"

and bites sniper on the testicle

then EvisceratoR comes along and starts taking video of this mass gang bash/orgy realising this is priceless footage...

cause he only has one left after the incident with the peanut butter, spatula and the feral pig

lol

PeaceKeeper crawls off shaking his head in disgust :P

sniper thinks in the background...

"f***ing hell that pig hurt..."

Sprinkles grabs Peackeeper by the ankle and spins him round and firmly wedges his head up Plagues big fat ass.

LOL

feck off :P

PeaceKeeper dies a horrible death ;D

plague looks around and says...

"f*** these mozzies..."

Sprinkles revives peacekeeper so he can live out the rest of his days up plagues ass

dangles leaves the area in utter disgust!!

Sprinkles yells at dangles "SIF YOU DONT DO THIS s*** WITH YOUR FAMILY!!"

PeaceKeeper clings to sprinkles, u be stayin in here wit me >:D

Sprinkles asked strex to feed plague some curries

give that s*** up sprinkles :)

PeaceKeeper calls for lil help D:

Sprinkles grabs Dangles with his feet and drags Dangles ass up his ass screaming "HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT HEY!" and we all have an irregular love train

PeaceKeeper welcomes dangles :D

um guys this is getting a little too much now me thinks!!

PAY ATTENTION PEACEKEEPER WE ARE UP PLAUGES ASS AND DANGLES IS UP MINE!

Sprinkles starts dribbling to make it even more uncomfortable for pk

dangles moves in that direction----------->

Sprinkles screeches as dangles movies his way up his bowels

dangles decides to take a leak!!

LOL

sprinkles has a fetish for objects up his ass :/

and other ppl's too D:

:P

Sprinkles prays Dangles doesnt have herpes. But guesses his probably f***ed!

sniper realizes hes getting left out, starts to shove various implements up his spadger

dangles seeing a opening heads for the light....

good idea!

PeaceKeeper has similar ideas..head for the light!

Sprinkles finds a dark spot and decides to hide and realises its PK. He then sees the light and starts heading for it

dangles emerges from his dark prison...

um...

dangles runs and never comes back!!

Man you guys are sick just shut up ffs

bowen just appears out of no where and says *hi ppl*

PK waves to Bowen *wave* :D

mandy throws all her barbies at necra and to find out where dangles went

PK shakes his head at mandy

let it go :/

the air got cold as necra came closer
then i say he was holding sprinkles dick in his hand

mandy turns around and gives PK the finger and keeps walking

lol oh no! :D

PK get back up who evers arse you came out of

mandy slow down i'l come help u find him

PK points to spwinkles, u two both have a fetish for ass's ? :P

mandy and bowen disappear calling Dangles

but dangles doesnt come cause he has gone!!

dangles was afk for to many hours so he just left all of us to wonder

All i have to say is, mandy never denied playing with barbies. Mandy at your age, thats really sad. And please get over your obsession with me.

can i have an obsession with u necra

pwease pretty pwease :)

Ask AnaRoT dangles.

this story is f***ed

would u share me and AnaRoT if he let me ??

as mandy and bowen wer looking for dangles, dangles was off molesting anarot

dangles grabs necra and.......

procides to bend her over the nearest tree stump and........

evis finally stops recording the whole affair and walks away laughing (insert evil laughter here) thinking of the money he'll make selling copies of it all at qgl....

where evisc tryed to sell a copy to an under cover cop trying to look like deeper

so evisc got carted away to a cell with anarot so thay coud have happy ghey sex ever after

and what is appening between necra and dangles....??

Then Bowen realises he is jealous of Dangles and tries to break into the prison and to be with AnaRoT, but AnaRoT tells him to go f*** himself and leaves with Dangles. They soon part company cos AnaRoT states that Necra is HIS and Dangles can f*** off :)

then máxe plays with photoshop and spams the messageboard at americanskinheads.com

Then maxe, relalising that him and mandy are both the same age, decides to go and bonk her instead of sitting on his ass playing with his pc.

dangles however, obviously still shocked at AnaRoT's rude behaviuor, runs after maxe and mandy to join them in their wierd sexual bahviours. AnaRoT and necra, thank god for being left alone, and close the door to the bedroom.

Still in the scene though is EvisceratoR, who tries to sell his crappy piece of s*** porn tape, but realises he won't sell it, unless the world famous porn star StreX plays the leading role.

maxe then realises that he already has a g/f whose name will go unmentioned, then realises that the only reason he felt any attraction to Mandy is that she disliked necra too.

maxe leaves dangles to boof mandy, altho he prolly just shoot her to see her cartwheel across the bed.

dangles in his infinate wisdom relises...wtf am i doing here and goes home..

and goes to see his g/f also

but evis is smart, and puts a pic of strex on the cover of the tape just to sell it!!!

he then joins maxe at www.americanskinheads.com

then evis goes and looks at necra's eyes again.... =P

This all happened two years ago with a spate of fatal dog poisonings. Then the severed head of a black-and-white kitten turned up on church steps.

Now residents in this town of 1,500 are wondering if more than a dozen cats that disappeared this summer have met a similar fate.

"We have some weird things going on," Police Chief pLAGue said.

necra said three kittens that lived outside her house disappeared one by one about six weeks ago. "The cats were here one day, and I went to the store or something and they were just gone," she said.

Police believe a pair of teen-agers have been snatching them. Although at least one suspect has been identified as dangles, police have not been able to persuade witnesses to testify.

None of the 12 to 15 cats reported missing since late May have turned up, except the severed kitten head, found on the steps of the city's Methodist church about five weeks ago. Some residents suspect Satanic activity, although police have no evidence of that.

Another mystery is the 1993 deaths of 25 dogs fed food laced with strychnine. Police say nothing indicates the crimes are related.

The disappearances seem to have ended with the severed head, but officers still are warning residents to keep an eye on their cats.

"Vandalism's all it is to me," said 73-year-old Jim. "You can't eat them. They must be just destroying them."

then some of those "teen-agers" try to kidnap Splashes cat "charly" and my grandmas cat "tim", who then go ballistic and beat the living s*** out of the teen-agers cos they're built like a brick shthouse.

Riiiiiiiiiiight. Great story.

Tops mate !!

necra u can beet it try

Authorities continue to search for the crazed madman who jumped a fence surrounding a Barron County turkey farm and clubbed to death more than 160 innocent turkeys. The rampaging attacker cut a bloody swath through the 15-week-old turkeys with a golf club, which authorities found at the scene. No word yet whether it was an iron or a wood.

Barron County Sheriff Bowen said the vandal or vandals climbed the fence to wreak their vengeance at the Cheteck farm on May 22. In addition to the golf club, the Sheriff intuits that additional objects were used to beat the turkeys over their heads.

"I just can't even imagine doing something like that," said owner Sprinkles" It takes all kinds, I guess. Obviously, any time somebody hurts a defenseless animal it's unfortunate. It's stupid."

Sprinkles bought his father's turkey farm four years ago. He contracts with The Turkey Stores Company, and has about 20,000 turkeys on his farm.

This was the third vandalism complaint involving turkeys in Barron County this year. In March, a Turtle Lake man was charged with using a pitchfork and a shovel to kill 35 turkeys at another farm.

A 18-year-old brisbane man, pLAGue, pled guilty to third-offense drunken driving and marijuana possession following his arrest on June 15. He was sentenced to 150 days in jail.

The arresting officer found pLAGue naked from the waist down after pulling him over for erratic driving.

Additional charges of lewd and lascivious behavior and possession of drug paraphernalia were dismissed by Circuit Judge PeaceKeeper, although he had considered them before imposing sentence. In addition to jail time, pLAGue was ordered to pay $1,373 in fines and anti-drug contributions, serve two years on probation, and to undergo psychological and alcohol abuse evaluations.

Bowen, pLAGue's attorney, said that, while driving, pLAGue's pants had been pulled down due to a medical condition, and that it was not a lewd act.

Your all gay!

If the story doesn't involve some kind of beastiality or necrophlia, then it just isn't a propler story!

*Guardian f***s the dead pig corspe, and a good f*** it is too*

That is all!

Reports indicate that the crazed polar bear killer, that mudered 3 polar bears at Seaworld recently, has not been found.

Yesterday morning, keepers at Seaworld, were horrified to see their 3 polar Bears butchered to death still in their inclosure. It is believed, that the polar bears were killed with a blunt object and then picked to death by their killer. Their were no witnesses to this event, but the penguins have been acting a little strange.

" I wath stho sthcared, i heard noisthes, and the Polar Bearths sthcreamed and i hid ", reports one penguin.

As you can tell, many people and animals alike have been disturbed by this event.

" I was going to shoot em anyway" says dangles a close friend of the parks owner " shoot em all, thats what i say".

The only clue left by the muderer were bloody flipper prints leading to the Dolphin enclosure. Handlers are keeping a close eye on the Dophins as they are one of the Main Suspects in this case.

" Yes ever since the Polar bears have arrived, the Dolpins have seemed a little jelous", reports park managaer "the number of ppl paying to swim with them have dropped considerably, you can't blame them for being upset"

Police advise, that if you are visiting Seaworld these holidays, watch out for the dolphins and pay them extra special attention. They also recommend seeing their new feature " Bowen the Ass Rammer". Who puts on a spectacular Sex type show including all the animals in the Park.

now thats a story :)

Don't u ppl listen!!!
IF you want a story which will be GOOD!!

IT NEEDS BEASTILAITY OR NECROPHILIA!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOR SPEDS!!

That is all!

f*** me dead ppl, you start a story to insult one person, and it usually leeds off to a f***ing orgy...
(or something...)

we needed to stick to the insulting of the sniper...

just picture him walking around on the day of the lan and getting hit left right and centre by rotten fruit!

guardian you are a faget, go away.

hahaha i was waiting to see how long it would be before the first person would insult me directly..
maxe, u truly are an inspiration to all ppl who have no sense of humour or adventure..

and you truly are an inspiration to no-life fagets who sit at home wanking in front of thier computers. well done son, bet mums proud.

hahhaah good one maxe :)

hheheh yeh, thats true, u got me there mr 900msgs on qgl forum..
i guess i just spend all my time in front of the computer unlike yourself..

gotcha there maxe....

Sif u have anything better to do!

Come on, most of you guys are full of s*** :P, i'm sure you can think up a good story.

Who wants necrophilia? Sheesh. On the other hand, some necraphilia....;)

BOB goes and watches Serial Experiments Lain.
"Don't interrupt my anime."

yes guardian you faget. I have a lot of posts.

1) Im on holidays
2) I dont sit here all day, but when i am here i post a lot
3) I dont constantly spam about masturbation
4) Im not gay
5) You are.

well said maxe

sif you dont sit on your puter all day making alterations to a seksay pic of StreX and post on QGL forums :)

Leave Guardian, he cool, although a little gay :) StreX, necra will NOT root you, so stop annoying her... if you were dead, on the other hand, then... :)

Maxe how can I be gay when I spam about masturbation? I haven't mentioned being gay or being gay to anyone at all..

U keep calling me a fagget, maybe your are the one that is gay..

Do us all a favour and come out of the closet, your insecurities and persecutions aren't helping yourself, nor anyone else.

stop being a gay faget guardian, its just gay, you gay gay faget.

Theres that repression of gay emotions again maxe, I really think you should consult a psychologist or something. I am just sick of being your scape goat to your homo sexual tendencies, pleez come out maxe! PLEEZ!

WTF is with everyone calling each other gay?
I thought everyone figured out that a gamer can't be gay. It's like saying that a dog can be a cat...

If you are not a gamer then why are you here Bob? Oh I see you are trying tell that you are not gay hahaha siiiiif!!

Well taht totally f***ed up the story I guesss all that's left to say is

THE END!

I ain't gay anarot. Just shut up and face reality.

Anarot is DA BOMB!

SIf I would want to face the fact that you are gay.... yukk it makes me sick.

Thanks Guardian :)

wake up anarot! guardians only tryin to get in your pants.

all u haer is tick tick tick tick its a bomb......... run!!!!! no wait one min its just anarot refreshing :)

Geez, now I know whats going on, I ain't your scape goat anymore maxe, I am who you wanna be... You keep calling me gay and that I wanna get in anarot's pants, but really you want to be me cuz you want all those things. You closet case homo-sexuals really have some serious problems. Its ok, maxe, you waking up in the morning with a big hard on and feeling guilty cuz all you did was dream about dicks and men all night is completely normal.

I am not a homophobe, nor am I prejudice, so you can come out maxe. If you don't come out soon, we are gonna have to have an intervention for your own good.

You have been watching Seinfeld haven't you Guardian....

SIF!

f*** me dead...

i can't believe that this thread is still going!!!

i think all of you slarts don't have anything better to do

Guess you just joined the club huh?

rofl i found the other one also :P

OMG this is hilarious, whens part 2 coming?

hahah, i hated guardian.

cool.

Dangles you're a homo.