It has been determined that children find the idea of Humpty Dumpty dying too distressing.

The new ending is now:

"all the King's horses "made Humpty happy again"

I s*** you not

This is all completely retarded because Humpty was not a person, or an personified egg, it was the name of a Canon, as in a huge mounted gun used in war. Plus there is a lesson to be learned from tragedy.


Here are some more possible nursery rhyme suggestions they could try:

* Rock a bye baby on the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks, the cradle will be safe because the tree has undergone a health and safety assessment.

* Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor doggie a bone. When she got there, the cupboard was full because she just had a delivery from Ocado.

* London Bridge is undergoing planned engineering works. Please wait for further announcements.

* Three visually impaired mice, three visually impaired mice. See how they run, see how they run. They all ran after the farmer's wife, who handed them over to the RSPCA.

* Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep – but she knows how to find them because she has satnav.


Jokes in this post were stolen

whatever, I as a parent wouldn't censor my kids stories
I would also encourage my son to play red rover at school

They're also getting rid of golliwog from Noddy because he's racist as well.

Kids stories used to be pretty dark because it was important to know that doing things sometimes had tragic endings. Not so much rhymes i'm thinking of, but little red riding hood etc.

Fear of repercussion still needs to be in stories..

Rev - and Noddy is a f***** with the molester Big Ears.

teq - Red rover is an icon. You should encourage ball brandy as well.

teq - Red rover is an icon. You should encourage ball brandy as well.

...and dead duck/wall brandy

Most epic childhood game in terms of getting owned.

Red rover is an icon. You should encourage ball brandy as well.

me and spook jnr play brandy now:

petal isnt so keen on the idea, but we love it;

yeah this cotton wool society is complete BS, this is what happens when we gave women equal rights (lol)
They stick their nose in where it doesn't belong and by trying to make the world a better place, they're making the next generation into a big bunch of pussies

too right teq
i've got a photo of me at home of me at ~4 in a firemans jacket holding a fireman's axe. the real deal. AS IF YOU'D EVER GIVE A 4 YEAR OLD AN AXE THESE DAYS.
did i die? no.

Any game that inflicts pain for losing is a win.

Best one is a soccer training game called 10-9 played with junior/futsal goals in a smallish marked out area.

Rules
* Everyone attacks except for keeper
* Can't score with feet unless its a volley with both feet off the ground (bicycle)
* One touch (two touches goes keeper)
* Last person to touch the ball before ball goes out goes keeper
* Keeper has 5 goals
* 3 corners = 1 goal
* Keeper gets to zero everyone has penalties from 10 yards
* Succesful penalty takers have an ass shot from 4 yards




last edited by fade at 12:51:40 19/Oct/09

just shows that the world is getting more retarded daily.

fade, that game sounds sorta confusing.
im sure once played and on field it would make more sense.

but, +1 for wall brandy !!!!!!!!
ausome memories....cheers !!!!!!

What is it with society these days ... so no problems with the last 30 to 50 years that the stories have been out circulating through the public, but just cause some headcase thinks it's racist and should have it changed ... seriously harden the f*ck up!

+1 to wall brandy as well
+1 to red rover
+1 to handball!!!!!

That's pretty bs - the moral behind the rhymes and fairytales are what make them awesome, not the 'happily ever after' bs.

Red Rover was f***ing awesome. Also, I remember the day when I learnt that golliwogs weren't being made anymore because they were 'racist' - I cried.

Jack and Jill ran up the hill,
to fetch a pale of water.

Jack fell down but it was ok because thanks to stringent work-safety requirements he was wearing a safety harness and suffered no more than a small bruise on his upper arm. As per the protocol of the ISO9001 approved contracting firm an incident report was lodged and Jack was cleared for pale-fetching duties once again by mid-afternoon.

Yeah, doesn't have the same ring to it...

I've been playing with a code injector called Humpty Dumpty. Alas its just a thread about nursery rhymes. :(

Off topic.. I got Iexplore.exe to execute inside of a calc.exe process. fun. ;P