Welcome friends,
My name is Maurice, and I've been bashing mangroves going on 7 years
now. I have finally come to terms with my addiction and have risen from
the pain-filled pits of denial and despair.
Mangrove
Bashers Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their
experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their
common problem and help others to recover from the destructive act of
mangrove assault.
The
only requirement for membership is a desire to stop bashing. There are
no dues or fees for MBA membership; we are self-supporting through
our own contributions. MBA is not allied with any sect,
denomination, politics, organisation or institution; does not wish to
engage in any controversy, neither endorses or opposes any causes
"It must be bashed with tolerance, for I have restricted its application to no race, no creed and, no denomination."
Is MGA for j00?
We
who are in MBA came because we finally gave up trying to control
our flaural abuse. We still hated to admit that we could
never abuse safely. Then we heard from other MBA members that
we were sick. (We thought so for years!) We found out that many people
suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and
hopelessness that we did. We found out that we had these feelings
because we had the disease of mangrove bashing.
A Message to Teenagers:
Mangrove Bashing Mangrove is a rough word to deal with. Yet nobody is too young (or too old) to have trouble with plants.
That's because tree bashing is an illness. It can hit anyone. Young, old. Rich, poor. Black, white.
And
it doesn't matter how long you've been bashing or what species
you've been bashing. It's what bashing does to j00 that counts.
***Know Your
Grove***
An in-depth guide to mangroves, what really makes these bastards tick
Term: mangrove forest - A community of mangrove trees that may consist of the red mangrove, black mangrove and white mangrove.
A mangrove is more than just a tree ...it's a whole forest community which lives between the sea and the land.
For
many people, mangroves look like muddy, swampy places filled with
mosquitoes, snakes and spiders. But take a closer look....
Walking
through a mangrove can be like going on a giant treasure hunt. Hidden
within the twisted vines and branches are amazing reptiles, wild
looking insects and plenty of crabs and other animals which call the
mangroves their home.
How to spot a true red-blooded mangrove - no posers.
The
following is a quintisential list of mangrove photos taken by our
skilled photographer at an intimate private mangrove party. We must
warn you, some images are quite disturbing and as a result we must ask
that you give verification before proceeding.
Thank you.
ARE
YOU 18!? HUH!? ARE YA!? I mean what the f*** isn't to say your just
some pissant taking a stroll in your mothers sunday best out for a bit
of a "peep-show-how's-your-grandma's-hobbit"!? Who the f*** do you
think I am, some lazy f***in bastard who just lets anyone see my
PRIVATE COLLECTION OF NUDE MANGROVE PHOTOS? Well I am! ENJOY!
hoooo mangroves, yummy yummy, oh yeah show that bark, oohh yeahhh hooo mumma...
Our
skilled photographer, let's call him "Subiako", spent months deep in
dangerous mangrove territory becoming familiar with their customs and
traditions. Carrying naught but a 150g plastic container of Yates lawn
fertiliser he relied on his bare wits and gut instincts to survive the
menacing ordeal. After a shaky introduction with the head mangrove,
(easily identified by his threatening leaves) Subiako began to bond
with the tribe and eventually earn the trust of this mangrove cluster
through careful displays of affection. (root stroking etc.)
Unfortunately, a few days after taking these epic images, Subiako
engaged in a drunken brawl with a large member of the insiticus marfantallicusNOFXicus mangrove family and was subsequently mauled by a barn owl. His camera was all that remained...
We thank you Subiako for your bravery - your legacy will live on in your photographs, forever.
Testimonies - proof you can beat this vile addiction
Chris Bartlett - is 17
years old. He was a mangrove basher for 9 years and could not
break the cycle. He slept on the street when he could not find his way
home. He had lost his family. When the center was opened 4 years ago,
he was the first to enter and became the first to be restored. He has
recovered his family and is living a productive life and has studied in
the Fascist College.
"I...I just couldn't help myself, I'd walk past a mangrove and it would start tickling me elmo and that was it...Thank you MBA."
Andrew Davis - is 18
years old. He also was flaura assaulter for 6 years and had lost
his family. He also was one of the first to be rehabilitated. He has
returned to his family, studies for our ministry and is a worker
in the center.
Aden Little - is
about 17 years old. He lived on the street and in jails for 7 years. He
was a convicted mangrove basher and poultry addict. He is
presently studying for the communist party of South East
Queensland, aids drill instruction for the Brisbane Republic
Army and mastercates iguanas with Jason Baguana.
Nick Aroney
- We do not know his exact age. The master behind mangrove
bashing himself, prior to this groups excistence he assualted
17 Wild Magroves, sexually harrased 8 sloths tryin to sleep in
Mangroves and murdered 2 Black Mangroves. Seeing this once be
Mangrove Basher turn into a now sloth loving turnip has inspired
many. On a happier note, MBA introduced him to their parsnip
castration program and really gave him a new lease on life.
"Hello, I am Cornellius."
Christian Hopper - My
name is Christian Hopper, i came to MGA in the hope of finding an inner
sanctum where i could confide in fellow brethern of my vicious cycle...
that is, mangrove bashing. Between you and me, i found bashing
mangroves and assorted flaura exhilarating and exciting. Night after
night mother continually caught me in her garden assaulting and
plundering her best gardenias, roses and occasionally the next door
neighbours ostrich (the one with the brightest plumage). It slowly
turned darker and darker, until i was charged with indecent assault and
battery, treason and third degree murder by the High Court of Australia
for pillaging and raping the Sturts Desert Pea... a symbol of national
pride. Needless to say, after a long term jail stay, MGA helped me
through my darkened years and gave me hope. Thanks MBA!
Matthew Tenkate - 18,
i realised i was gay when i got my first errection in the boy's change
rooms at Nudgee in year 9. So i've decided this would be the best
place to......
s*** i thought this was "Coming out of the Closet Anonymous". Sorry
http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0XQAAAGsbYG380o6!9qODmu3CYCJWiG7ijCE0U1X!rU9g7*G6oCbnUwzzQa!f1Q*GDm5LEpDZCTrQSdJ8d37gZZ8fOl5rLx6UhjrxWNWBPIvoT*3QfweiGtxHGxRJOBaHVgxDaXbkIvg/Bashedmangrove.jpg?dc=4675402147763484892
"Hi,
my names Bernie and I've been a mangrove all my life now. Please, I
reach out to you all to feel the pain and suffering of my people and
embrace the MBA doctorine. Thank you for your time."
