Mr Burns, I think we can trust the President of Cuba!

Ralph Wiggum

"Thats my sandpit, im not allowed to go in the deep end, and that rock is where i saw the leprechaun, he tells me to burn things"

Rod and Todd Flanders

"Iron helps us play!"

Homer
"ooh! the internet is on computers now"

Ralph
"I bent my wookie."

Otto
"whoa... my shoes are talking to me"

Todd Flanders:

"OWWW! My freakin' ears!"

done it

Homer
"Well, i'm not gonna lie to you marge."

one of ralph's classic lines:

"they were making babies in the closet and one of the babies looked at me"

Miss Hoover:

"Ralph, are you eating the glue again?"

Ralph Wiggum:

"no miss hoover.."

(gluestick hanging out of mouth)

Chief Wiggum

"ok ralphy if ur nose starts bleeding, it means ur picking it too much, or not enough"

ralph:

when i grow up i wanna go to Bovine University!

Ralph
"Miss Hoover there is a dog in the vent!"

Miss Hoover
"Ralph remember the time you thought you saw snagglepuss outside.."

Mrs Krabappel, my worm fell in my mouth, and I ate it. Can I have another one?

Homer Simpson

"Marge, First you didnt want me to get the pony.. now you want me to take it back?!??!"

Ralph: Miss Hoover my worm fell in my mouth and then I ate it. Can i have another.

Mr burns :Hmmm, there is supposed to be a pack of viciose dogs attackin you.
Homer:Well, what can you do
Mr BuRNS:Very well, cominside, perhaps i can find something to scald you with

I don't watch it that much, but what the one where the operater tells him to mash the keypad with his hand or something?

HOMER: "Aww, there's only one beer left, and it's Barts"

Homer: Inside every mans head is a struggle between good and evil that cannot be resolved... *I am evil homer, I am evil homer, I am evil homer, I am evil homer*

Mr Burns: Release the hounds

necra

Phone operator: The fingers you have dialled with, are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your hand, now.

Barney:

WHOA Someone smells stinky *sniff sniff* Oh its me


Groundskeeper Willy:

Make Way for WILLY. *Willy falls on Superintendent Chalmers* I said Make way for Willy ya bloayed gasbag


Lisa: They even have groundskeeper Willy teaching French
Willy: Bonjouuuuurrrr, Ya cheese eating surrender monkeys

I could go on all day with these :)

necra

Phone operator: The fingers you have dialled with, are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your hand, now.

Marge, don' t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel.
--Homer Simpson

There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman.
--Groundskeeper Willie

I'm not wild about these high-risk ventures. They sound a little risky.
--Marge Simpson

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
--Homer Simpson

Come on Milhouse, there's no such thing as a soul! It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson
--Bart Simpson

I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of travelling acrobats
--Homer Simpson

Stealing? How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what's-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?
--Homer Simpson

Help me Jeebus!
--Homer Simpson

You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! Because when you reach over, and put your hand, into a pile of goo, that was your best friend's face... you don't know what to do! Forget it Marge.. its CHINATOWN!

Necra...

Operator: The fingers you have dialled with, are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, mash the keypad with your palm, now.

Ralph: "It tastes like burning!"
"These goggles do nothing"

And of course, blahnana's favourite one.

Homer: "I don't know lenny, Mr. X could be closer than you think..."
Lenny: "It's you, isn't it Homer! You're Mr. X!"
Homer: "No I'm not!! or...am I?"

If you've got a linux box around somewhere, grab this. Mmm, Simpsons quotes on my start page...

hahahha, and my fave:

[willie interrogating homer about the religious cult]

Ned Flanders: Anyone want cookies?
Willie: BAH! ya spolied the whole atmosphere ya daft pansy!!

rofl

sif simpsons don't rule, I love your work trog...

The best quote wihtout any graphic i would have to say ....


Homer :

You'll have to speak up I'm wearing a towel

"Thats why your the judge and Im the...ahhh...law type guy"

Hehehe yeh, that's it. Cracks me up everytime.

spray ; that quote was wrong :)

the quote you wrote = Ralph: "It tastes like burning!"
"These goggles do nothing"

Is in fact Ranier Wolfcastle ;

" Ow my eyes are burning, the googles they do nothing".

Mr Hutts, did you know you're not wearing any pants ?

"Maria, my mighty hert is breaking.....I'll be in the humvee"
-- Rainier Wolfcastle

"But aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! Your from 2 different worlds.....Oh ive wasted my life".
-- Comic book store guy

"Yes, I wish to upgraded my 28 point 8 kilobaud fax/modem with a 1 point 5 5 megabit fibre optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide and IP router thats compatable with my Token Ring Ethernet LAN configurations?"
-- Comic Book store guy haha, cant beleive I know that one by heart :)

OH margey you came and you found me a turkey, on my vacation away from worky....

Rainier Wolfcastle ;

I'm doing a stand up comedy ... it's basically me standing up infront of a brickwall for 2 hrs.. it cost 60 million dollars.

lisa:

yvan eht nioj? what does that mean?

homer:

it's just a saying, it doesn't mean anything, like.. rammer-dammer-ding-dong.. or give peace a chance!

rofl.. give peace a chance.. pfft

Notes on people's hands: 

    - "Mindy because of our uncontrollable attraction I think we should

      avoid each other from now on."

    - "Max, what I did, I did because of alcohol and anger."

    - "I'm tired of these jokes about my giant hand.  The first such

      incident occurred in 1956 when..."

At Moe's tavern, Homer turns to Moe for advice.



 Homer: Moe, I need your advice.

   Moe: [bored] Yeah.

 Homer: See, I got this friend named...Joey Jo-Jo...Junior...Shabadoo --

   Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.

         [A man leaves, weeping]

Barney: Hey, Joey Jo-Jo!

-- You'd think he'd be used to that by now, "The Last Temptation of

    Homer"

LIST OF BART'S BLACKBOARD QUOTATIONS FROM THE INTRO TO "THE SIMPSONS"


I will not waste chalk
I will not skateboard in the halls
I will not burp in class
I will not instigate revolution
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I did not see Elvis
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
Garlic gum is not funny
They are laughing at me, not with me
I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not fake my way through life
Tar is not a play thing
I will not Xerox my butt
It's potato, not potatoe (This was used for the second airing,a reference to Dan Quayle's gaff while visiting a school)
I will not trade pants with others
I am not a 32 year old woman (To put it another way, Nancy Cartwright is not a 10-year-old boy)
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I will not drive the principal's car
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not sell school property (Also used in -
the only episode so far to use a "repeated" blackboard opening in its first showing)
I will not cut corners
I will not make flatulent noises in class
I will not belch the National Anthem
I will not sell land in Florida
I will not grease the monkey bars
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
I will not do anything bad ever again
I will not show off (This was written in an "Olde
English"-style font)
I will not sleep through my education
I am not a dentist
Spitwads are not free speech
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
High explosives and school don't mix
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
I will not squeak chalk (Bart squeaks the chalk while writing this)
I will finish what I star (This appears on one
line; the rest is blank)
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
Underwear should be worn on the inside
The Christmas Pageant does not stink
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not carve gods
I will not spank others
I will not aim for the head
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
I will not conduct my own fire drills
Funny noises are not funny
I will not snap bras
I will not fake seizures
This punishment is not boring and pointless
My name is not Dr. Death
I will not defame New Orleans
I will not prescribe medication
I will not bury the new kid
I will not teach others to fly
I will not bring sheep to class
A burp is not an answer
Teacher is not a leper
Coffee is not for kids (Each line becomes less and
less legible; the last line is a scrawl)
I will not eat things for money
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
I will not call the principal "spud head"
Goldfish don't bounce

Bart: What is this place?
Nerd 1: The refuge of the damned.
Martin: [gleeful] A place where we can work on our extra-credit assignments without fear of reprisal.
Nerd 2: Come! You must be tired from the chase. Oliver! [claps] Bring our friend a hard-boiled egg and some prune juice.
Martin: Finally, Bart's one of us!
Everyone: Excelsior!

Mmmm....


Here is a complete list of one of Homer's favorite expressions:


Mmmm... marshmallows (in There's No Disgrace Like Home [7G04])
Mmmm... chocolate (in Krusty Gets Busted [7G12])
Mmmm... Ooh.. Macamadamia nuts (in Bart's Dog Gets an F [7F14])
Mmmm... horse doovers (in War of the Simpsons [7F20])
Mmmm... spaghetti (in Treehouse of Horror II [8F02])
Mmmm... purple (in Homer Defined [8F04])
Mmmm... beer (in Lisa's Pony [8F06])
Mmmm... salty (in Lisa's Pony [8F06])
Mmmm... the land of chocolate (in Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk [8F09])
Mmmm... crumbled-up cookie things (in Lisa the Greek [8F12])
Mmmm... potato chips (in Homer at the Bat [8F13])
Mmmm... strained peas (in Homer Alone [8F14])
Mmmm... snouts (in Dog of Death [8F17])
Mmmm... fattening (in Homer the Heretic [9F01])
Mmmm... Burgher (in Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie [9F03])
Mmmm... soylent green (in Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie [9F03])
Mmmm... shrimp (in The New Kid on the Block [9F06])
Mmmm... grapefruit (in Brother from the Same Planet [9F12])
Mmmm... organized crime (in Last Exit to Springfield [9F15])
Mmmm... beer (in So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show [9F17])
Mmmm... beer (in Whacking Day [9F18])
Mmmm... sixty four slices of American cheese (in Rosebud [1F01])
Mmmm... invisible cola (in Marge on the Lam [1F03])
Mmmm... candy (in Marge on the Lam [1F03])
Mmmm... convenient (in Marge on the Lam [1F03])
Mmmm... forbidden donut (in Treehouse of Horror IV [1F04])
Mmmm... business deal (in Treehouse of Horror IV [1F04])
Mmmm... free goo (in Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood [1F06])
Mmmm... apple (in Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood [1F06])
Mmmm... hamburgers (in Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood [1F06])
Mmmm... foot-long chili dog (in The Last Temptation of Homer [1F07])
Mmmm... Marge (in The Last Temptation of Homer [1F07])
Mmmm... mediciney (in Deep Space Homer [1F13])
Mmmm... sacrilicious (in Homer Loves Flanders [1F14])
Mmmm... elephant fresh (in Bart Gets an Elephant [1F15])
Mmmm... caramel (in Bart Gets an Elephant [1F15])
Mmmm... bowling fresh (in And Maggie Makes Three [2F10])
Mmmm... urinal fresh (in And Maggie Makes Three [2F10])
Mmmm... slanty (in Homer vs. Patty and Selma [2F14])
Mmmm... incapacitating (in The Springfield Connection [2F21])
Mmmm... beer nuts (in A Star is Burns [2F31])
Mmmm... something (in Another Simpsons Clip Show [2F33])
Mmmm... sandwich (in Selma's Choice [9F11])

you missed
"Mmmmm... hippo.. "
from the episode where homer trys to make a barbeque

haah these are so funny, keep em comin.

I remember one episode where homer was raving on about the dogs that shoot bees or something like that.
Cant remember the exact quote so ive probably just ruined it.

If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.

Homer - No Sleep And No Tv Make homer Go...

Marge - Crazy?

Homer - Don't Mind If i Do!!!!!!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------

Homer - Do you Come With The Car???

Slut - Oh oh oh oh You......


------------------------------------------------------------

MEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Bit muddled up, but a list of Barts Prank calls

7G01 (Some Enchanted Evening)
Bart with Lisa and Maggie
Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there an Al Coholic here?
Wait a minute...
Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you!
Bart and Lisa laugh

7G01 (Some Enchanted Evening)
Bart with Lisa and Maggie
Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff!
Marge picks up the extension and hears:
Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I'll cut your belly open!

* 7G03 (Homer's Odyssey)
Bart with Lisa
Uh, I.P. Freely? Hey, everybody, I.P. Freely!
Wait a minute...
Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half!
Bart and Lisa laugh

7G06 (Moaning Lisa)
Bart with Lisa
Uh, Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm looking for a Jacques Strap!
Oh, wait a minute...Jacques Strap
It's you isn't it ya cowardly little runt? When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!
Bart laughs

7F11 (One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish)
Bart with Lisa
Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz!
Oh, wait a minute...
Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!
Bart and Lisa laugh

7F15 (Principal Charming)
Bart (in Principal Skinner's office)
Uh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, come on, one of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual!
Homer says "Don't look at me!"
Oh, no...
You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!
Skinner, on the other end of the line, says "You'll do what, young man?"

* 7F22 (Blood Feud)
Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Listen, you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to catch you, and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!

8F02 (Treehouse of Horror II)
Bart with Mrs. Krabappel and one of the Sherri/Terri twins
Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt
Oh, wait a minute...
Bart laughs; Mrs. Krabappel sees him and then laughs as well

8F08 (Flaming Moe's)
Bart
Uh, Hugh Jass? Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!
There is a Hugh Jass at Moe's; he takes the call

8F09 (Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk)
Bart
Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?
Barney says "You sure do!"
Oh...it's you, isn't it?
Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!
Bart laughs

9F06 (New Kid on the Block)
Bart
Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney says "Maybe your standards are too high!"
You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt! Bart tells Moe his name is Jimbo Jones and gives his own address: Jimbo and Laura Powers are making out in Bart's living room

9F06 (New Kid on the Block)
Laura Powers with Bart
Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tankle? All right, everybody, put down your glasses, Ivana Tinkle!
Laura and Bart laugh

2F19 (The PTA Disbands)
This isn't at Moe's; Moe is taking over as the substitute teacher for Mrs. Krabappel's class during the strike
OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or "here". Er, no, say "present". Ahem, Anita Bath?
The students in the classroom laugh
All right, settle down. Anita Bath here?
More laughs
All right, fine, fine. Maya Buttreeks!
Still more laughs
Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get it, I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I can't help that!
Moe runs out of the classroom crying as Bart crosses Moe's name off of a list of what are now former substitute teachers

Rainier Wolfcastle ;
I'm doing a stand up comedy ... it's basically me standing up infront of a brickwall for 2 hrs.. it cost 60 million dollars

"How do you sleep at night?"
"On a big pile of money with many beautiful women"
"... OK, just checking"

Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

"What are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at you?"

I believe this is when Marge goes rank at the amount of violence on Itchy and Scratchy....

The new 'Itchy and Scratchy Show' theme:
"They love / they share / they share and love and share / love love love / share share share / The Itchy & Scratchy Showwww!"

The new Itchy & Scratchy in "Porch Pals":
Scratchy: "Lemonade?"
Itchy: "Please."
Scratchy: "I made it just for you."
Itchy: "You are my best friend. Mmm. This really hits the spot."
Scratchy: "Doesn't it though?"
Itchy: "You make really good lemonade, Scratchy."
Scratchy: "Thank you, Itchy

Mr Burns. (@ the baseball)

Now men, there's a poor crippled boy in hospital that wants you wo win today, i know this because i crippled him myself

Milhouse: (in hospital)

I hope they win today, because if they dont Mr. Burns said he's coming back

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back...unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog.

"My name is Otto.. I llloooovve to get bloto!"

I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That couldn't Slow Down.'

Mr Sparkle - I'm disrespectful to dirt! Can you see that I am serious? Get out of my way, all of you! This is no place for loafers. Join me or die. Can you do any less?

"I cant have it! I wont have it!! and I CANT HAVE IT!"
Homer

Homer:
Oh Lisa you and your Stories, Bart is a vampire, Beer kills Brain cells. Now lets go back to that building thingie where our beds and Tv is

This is so depressing, my only hope is this home-made prozac. Umm needs more ice-cream.

Hello Operator, give me the number for 911

Chief Wiggum
there seems to be beer pouring out of the simpsons house...im proceeding on foot...office needs assistance..bring pretzels..i repeat bring pretzels!

ahha

one of the flanderereses

"ow! my eyeball!"

when bart hits him with the paper aeroplane

hah

did anyone pray for giant shoes?

Ralph - "My cat's name is Mittens"

Homer - "You can Dance! You can Dance! Everybody look at your pants!"

Lisa - "You are invited to my BBBQ - The extra B is for BYOBB" Bart - "Whats that extra B for?" Homer- "Its a typo"

Woman - "Would you like to try the fresh exilerating taste of bascardi?" Moe - "Umm sure!" Woman - "You know bascardi provides the best taste for ANY occasion!" Moe - "Ah..DO you work for bascardi?" Woman - *sarcastic*"NO...I'm in LOVE with you" *Slaps a sticker onto Moe's forehead which reads "Drink Rum"

Ralph - "My cats breath smells like cat food"

Homer - "Heh Heh, Get em Ma!

Cletus - "Hey, I can see my Ma from up here! HEY MA! GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!"

Classic Scene: The fight between Homer and George Bush

*Sigh* I love the simpsons :)

THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J. SIMPSON

"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs."

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding,'you're making a scene.'"

"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel."

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night."

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."

"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."

"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my
specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville.Population: you.'"

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!"

"I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, 'Cover for me.' Number two, 'Oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'It was like that when I got here.'"

Groundskeeper Willy: Lunchlady Doris do we have any grease

Lunchlady Doris: Yes, Yes we do

Groundskeeper Willy: THEN GREASE ME UP WOMAN!

I got the best one

HOMER:- DOH!

Oh I go in and out of comas all the time...zzzzz...French toast, please.

Homer to Mr Burns: Hello Mr Burns this is your mother Mrs Burns

Go on Santa's Little Helper say i love you....i ruv you

hahaha i lub the simpsons!

Bart Simpson: CaN'T SLeeP CLoWn WiLL EaT Me!!

cant believe you guys missed this one:

Homer:
Hi, I'm Mr Burns, I believe you have a letter for me!

Clerk:
What's your first name Mr Burns?

Homer:
I don't know.

or this one:

marge:
Homer, don't you eat this pie!

/marge walks off

Homer:
Ok pie, im just gonna do this (chomps mouth) and if you get eaten, its your own fault!

StreX stuffed up!

"Marge, are you tired of being wrong all the time?"

swat0r...fuk i can't believe it either specially the pie one that's my fave ever...specially when he eats the pie and whacks his head on the rangehood

hahahahha

Homer Simpson, "CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP,CRAP "

I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am!

best one is in the Movementarions cult one..

it's like
Cleatus: You're trespassin on my dirt farm
The Leader: Umm.. are u in need of a Mesiah?
Cleatus: No, but i'll take dem bags o money from ya
The Leader: argg (mumbling)

On the stranded island..

Milhouse: Ahh, you're forgetting wo has the glasses
Nelson: yoink
Milhouse:(patting nelson on shoulders) Ahh, now that you have everything you need i'll get out of your hair
Nelson: Not so fast 2 eyes

:D

Bart, Your epidermus is showing!

Voodoo Guy: The Doll is cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Voodoo Guy: But you get a free froghurt!
Homer: That's good!
Voodoo Guy: The froghurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Voodoo Guy: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: That's good!
Voodoo Guy: The topping contains Potassium Benzoaite.
Homer: ........
Voodoo Guy: That's bad.

hrrrrmm....Chicken

ahh, I wanted penuts..

Money can buy many penuts.

Expain how?

Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

wh00 hooo.


..wind...

DOH!

Sweet liqour eases the pain - Lionel Hutzz, Attorney of Law.

nobodyll ever lose a toe cept cleeeetus the slack jawed yoookeeeelllllll .......

heh ... dont know the rest of it ... :P~

prof. frink rawkz ... :P~

and if we take the square and extend beyond the boundaries of our universe along the hypothetical Z axis ...

rofl

Some folk'll never eat a skunk, but then again, some folk'll like Cleeetus the slack jawed yookeel.

Mr Burns - " I think ill male a donation of a million dorrah to the hospital...wen pigs fly(chuckles)"

Pig flys past (from homers bbq)

Smithers - "Will u be making that dination now Sir?"


Burns - " hmmm no."

Mr Burns - " I think ill male a donation of a million dorrah to the hospital...wen pigs fly(chuckles)"

Pig flys past (from homers bbq)

Smithers - "Will u be making that dination now Sir?"


Burns - " hmmm no."

smart - thats not even the quote. and you've stuffed it up royal.

Get some skillz you newbies

Homer to Lise: "Elves are make believe, just like elves, gremlins and eskimo's"

Homer to beer (april fools episode) "Aaah beer, my one weakness, my achilles heal if you will"


Homer "English, who needs that? I'm never going to England"

Lies make baby jesus cry

fact is though guys, Monty Python quotes own simpsons quotes

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smells of elder berries"
"Help, Help, I'm being repressed"
"bet you're gay"
"death awaits you all, with nasty ping pointy teeth"
"Tis but a flesh wound"
"you know much that is hidden oh Tim, quite"

"You tried your best, and failed miserably. The lesson is - never try"

The suspect is driving a ....... carrr.

f*** ... folk'll ... why did i think nobody'll ... thats just pathetic!...

not sure if anyones said it but its one that i think suits for this, specially on a web thread
"Theres no EMOTICON for what i'm feeling" - comic store guy

'Homer, out of all the crazy things youv done, this one rates somewhere in the middle'
-Marge

this is of memory:
homer-

this is where u hold it.
this is what u press to make it go bang.
and this is what u point at what u want to die.
homer-

what are you going to do?
release the dogs?
or release the killer bees
or release the killer dogs and when they bark shoot bees out of their mouth!

Hello, my name is Mr Snrub.

"Doctor I was in a magical land of fire and brimstone and all these little men in red pajamas poking me with pitchforks" - Homer Simpson.

Suspect is driving a car....susect is..hatless! repeat suspect is hatless!

or this one:
marge:
Homer, don't you eat this pie!

/marge walks off

Homer:
Ok pie, im just gonna do this (chomps mouth) and if you get eaten, its your own fault!

That was the first one i thought of swat0r but it's a graphical joke.... doesn't really work on the forumns.

- Ooooh no Smithers, zee germans are mad at me, ooooh no not zee germans.....


- Mmmmm the land of choclate


- Homer, Homer simpson he's the greatest guy in histroy... from the town of springfield, he's about to his a chestnut tree..... *crash*

ARf arf arf ... funny s*#t Mick ...

I am so smart ... I am so smart ... S M R T ... I mean S M A R T ... heheheh

Homer Simpson: "Exactly......... DOH !!!!"

SMITHERS! somebody up there still likes me!
"somebody down here likes you too, sir"
(Burns looks at smithers in odd way)

'Aaahhh, [the bees] are defending themselves somehow!'

Beekeeper 1: 'Its quiet.'
Beekeeper 2: 'Yes, A LITTLE too quiet, if you knwo what I mean'
BK1: 'Im afraid not'
BK2: 'Well you see, bees make, a lot of noise. NO NOISE, would suggest, no bees'
BK1: 'So what should we do?'
BK2: 'TO THE BEEMOBILE!'
BK1: 'You mean your chevy?'
BK2: 'yes'

Texas Tea....sweetener!

'Ive done it...im in the future! Moon pies...what a time to be alive'
-Jasper

Ah, more victims for my evergrowing army of the undead.

'Look out! They're ruffled!'
-Astronaut

Homers Brain:
eat the pudding,
eat the pudding,
eat the pudding,
eat the pudding,
eat the pudding,
eat the pudding,
eat the pudding.

I beat the smart kids, I beat the smart kids.

By trog

How many gazebos do you she-males need?

By trog

By trog

STUPID AS A FOX

Its a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

More testicles means more iron!

Homers Brain: That's it. I'm outta here [footsteps fading away, door slams]

double post

Homer and Little Bart:
Homer: Got your nose!
Baby Bart: Got your wallet! [runs to toilet, flushes]

and again:
Homer Got your nose!
Baby Bart: Got your keys! [runs to toilet, flushes]

'Me fail english? Thats unpossible!'
-Ralph

This gun had a hold on me. I felt this incredible surge of power, like God must feel, when he's holding a gun!

Oh Marge! There is no doggy heaven!

Or... to put it another way... there...is!

'Awww....its Mr Burns...KILL IT!! KILL IT!!!'
-Groundskeeper Willy

NOT HAPPY JAN... oh wait
simpSONS.. yes....
"hard....WARE...hardware"

These weiners will give me the quick energy I need to escape!

That's smurftastic

Homer: Nacho Nacho man *chomp* I want to be a nacho man

'In da city, first you get ze sugar, zen you get ze power, zen you get ze women'
-Homer

Homer: 'Now remember what your father told you on your wedding day'
Grandpa: 'Now if you ever go back in time, make sure you dont touch anything. It could change the future'

Homerisms -This Guy's a winner he's got a company that makes computers, eeerrr or a computer that makes companies anyway you wouldn't understand.

-When I came too I was covered in a sticky translucent goo, Now explain that

Homer -No beer and no Tv make Homer something something
Marge -Go crazy?
Homer -Don't mind if I do, WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

Hey there's something you don't see in a toilet every day!

Stupid bug.. you go squish now!

'Whats a gym? Ooohhh, a gym'
-Homer

Dear Homer...

IOU one emergency donut.

Signed, Homer.

BASTARD! He's always one step ahead.

computer - "Please press ANY KEY to continue"
homer - "The any key? where's the any key?"

Homer: "Me lose brain, uh-oh"
everyone: "hehehehehhehehahahah"
Homer: "............Why I laugh"

Homer: "Hello my name is Mr Burns , I believe you have a letter for me"
Posatal Worker: " Ok whats your first name Mr Burns?"
Long pause.......
Homer: " I dont know"

134 post f***, back to top.

-Homer Simpson

"But Marge...you don't know what it is like out there. And your calling me out of order? I am not the one out of order...YOUR OUT OF ORDER!...The hole freaken system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth!?!? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! COS WHEN YOU REACH OVER AND PUT YOUR HAND INTO A PILE OF GOO, IT WAS YOUR BEST FRIENDS FACE! YOU ALL KNOW WHAT TO DO! WELL...FORGET IT MARGE! ITS CHINA TOWN!"


-Ralph
"Mr simpson...these tar fumes are making me dizzy..."
-Homer
"yeah they'll do they"


-Bart
"Mom, dad, i am really worried about those threatening letters being sent to me!"
-Abe Simpson (grandpa)
"I know! Why don't we get matlock on to the case!, It's probably that ole theiving Gaven McLoud, he is always up to no good!"
-Bart
"Grandpa...Matlocks not real!"
-Abe
"Yeah well neither are my teeth and i can still eat corn on the cob if someone cuts it off and mushes it into a fine paste. Now thats good eaten!"

Looks like I pulled a Homer

'Quiet you!'
-Mr Peabody

Comic Shop Guy:'Yes, I would like to return this quote unquote Ultimate Belt'
Storekeep: 'Well do you have a receipt, quote unquote, sir?'
CSG: 'Sigh, no I do not, I won it at a Star Trek convention. Though I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average trekker has little use for a medium size belt'
S: 'Woah, a fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan! You must be a devil with the ladies!'
Bart: 'Ill give you 5 bucks for it'
CSG: Sigh, very well. I must hurry back to my store, where I dispense teh insults, rather than absord them'

Sif the comic shop guy doesnt rock.

I'll get my kidney back old man! You'll have to sleep sometime!

I'll get my kidney back old man! You'll have to sleep sometime!

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of all people know that

--Bump--
Lady: Most people don't even know where Springfield is..
Homer: To tell you the truth I don't even know where it is.

Lisa: Dad Women won't like being shot in the face
Homer: Women will like what I tell them to like.

Homer: Ha..They're butchering the classics, could that Basson have come in anymore late!!

That's strange, the blood usually gets off on the second floor.

OMG! Trog double posted! Worlds colliding!
'Y'know what really gets met 'bout these immigants? How'se they dont evens bother to learns the language!'
-Moe

"The immigants! I knew it was dem - even when it was the bears I knew it was dem."

Gotta love the Bear Patrol B2 Spirit in that episode! They only cost around 500 million US!

Don't snap my undies.

Homer : They don't call me "Springfield Fats" because Im morbidly obeast

Homer: Stupid sexy Flanders
(I think that is what it is...)

'Its like this movie I saw, about this speeding bus, that had to keep its speed above 50, and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called 'The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down'
-Homer

Two wrongs make a right, Lisa.

To start, press Any Key......
[Homer] Where's the any key?

http://my.netian.com/~blanka1/simpsom/li/o1/krustypants.gif

old gray mare she aint what she used to be
aint what she used to be
aint what she used to be
-crazy old guy

I've saved all ur quotes so I can study it and make friends with the cool people at school.

But my favourite bit was:

Homer:"How do you stop a dog humping ur leg?"
Bart:"Dunno"
Homer:"Pick it up and give it a blow job"

haha-
Here are your messages:
"You have 30 minutes to move your car", "You have 10 minutes",
"Your car has been impounded", "Your car has been crushed into a cube",
"You have 30 minutes to move your cube".

Here are your messages:
"You have 30 minutes to move your car", "You have 10 minutes",
"Your car has been impounded", "Your car has been crushed into a cube",
"You have 30 minutes to move your cube".

Bart: "Beans beans the musical fruit, the more u eat, the more u toot"

BARNEY: "Homer, i am worried about the beer supply, after this case, and the other case, there is only one case left"

Bart: "Why would anywone want to touch a girls butt"

Homer: "when i comes to compliment, wonen are raviouness bloodsucking monsters who only want MORE MORE MORE!"

Homer: "Yummy yummy yummy i got love in my tummy and i feel like loving u"

HOMER: " so get this, llenny thinks, .......haha..................he thinks..............hahahahahahahaha............a LITTLE SLOW..........hahahahaha................hahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....... how come your not laughing? Do u think im slow?? o am i kidding, i am slow"


homer: " better say somethink or theyell think ur stupid, "takes on to know one"

Homer: " I AM SO SMART, I AM SO SMART, S-M-R-T, i mean S-M-A-R-T"

Bart: "thats just crappycrapcrap"

family: "hes sinking, homer: "its ok, i'll just pull my legs out with my hands, now i'll just pull my body out with my haed, bubble bubble bubble"

Homer: "kiss my hairy yellow but"

Bart & friends: "Ralph, what it taste like?
Ralph, i ate the blue berry, ow ow, it tastes burny"

Radioactive man: "are, the acid water, it burns, the googles do not work"

just my 2c.

I think we have all the episodes covered

oh wait you missed one

Homer: OOoooohhh look, it's the super fun happy slide!!

Please do not flick me with a towel, I am full o chocolate!

delete

delete

delete

delete

What the hell...?

Why is my browser spamming the forum?

Roger Myers Jr - there was violence in the past, way before cartoons were invented

Marvin Monroe- OK, you want to kill each other. That's good. That's healthy

Herman - Can I interest you in some authentic nazi underpants

Akira - First you must fill your head with wisdom, then you can hit ice with it

God - Now , if you'll excuse me I have to appear on a tortilla in mexico

Chief Wiggum - Do not be alarmed, continue swimming naked. Aww cmon continue Come On! alright lou open fire

Sideshow Bob - Attempted murder. Now honestly what is that. Do they give a nobel prize for attempted chemistry

Superintendent chalmers - I have had it with this school. Low test scores. Class after Class of ugly, ugly children

American ambassador in Aus - Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense

Dr Nick - The coroner... Im so sick of that guy

Dr Foster - One of our patients is a cannibal. Try to guess which one. I think you'll be pleasently surprised

agh, sorry. replied to the old thread someone linked me to.

it takes two to lie. one to lie, and one to listen.

Something along these lines:

Bart pranks moes...
Moe: "It's you isnt it ?? while you lil... im gonna shove sausages down your throat and dogs up your butt!!"

Kent Brockman:
Rainier Wolfcastle, star of McBain and the upcoming film "Help, My Son Is A Nerd!"

Rainier Wolfcastle:
My son returns from a fancy east coast college, and I'm horrified to find he is a nerd.

Kent:
Ahaha! I'm laughing already!

Rainier:
It's not a comedy

hahah
two simpons quotes threads :)

why was a second one made anyways ?

This one started on 06/07 a newer one was created not to violate one of the rules about resurrecting old threads.