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Raider
Posts: 496
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following > exchange: > > Officer: > May I see your driver's license? > > Driver: > I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got caught drink driving. > > Officer: > May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? > > Driver: > It's not my car. I stole it. > > Officer: > The car is stolen? > > Driver: > That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in > the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. > > Officer: > There's a gun in the glove box? > > Driver: > Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns > this car and stuffed her in the trunk. > > Officer: > There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? > > Driver: > Yes, sir. > > Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.The car was > quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to > handle the tense situation: > > > Captain: > Sir, can I see your license? > > Driver: > Sure. Here it is. > > It was valid. > > Captain: > Who's car is this? > > Driver: > It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. > > The driver owned the car. > > Captain: > Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it? > > Driver: > Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. > > Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. > > Captain: > Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in > it. > > Driver: > No problem. > > Trunk is opened; no body. > > Captain: > I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you > didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that > there was a dead body in the trunk. > > Driver: > Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too |
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| #0 12:09pm 29/06/01 |
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SquarkyD
Posts: 660
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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ROFL |
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| #1 12:14pm 29/06/01 |
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WarT
Posts: 4018
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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i think i got that email too |
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| #2 12:15pm 29/06/01 |
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Raider
Posts: 497
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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i recon it is one of the funniest things i have ever seen :) cracks me up every time |
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| #3 12:18pm 29/06/01 |
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Silent Remorse
Posts: 410
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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Nowhere near funniest but quote clever :) |
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| #4 12:48pm 29/06/01 |
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Frag Terminator
Posts: 1716
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
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mmm i might try that :P |
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| #5 12:50pm 29/06/01 |
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-Eds-
Posts: 1642
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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1. Disbelief "How the f*** did you do that?" 2. Fraud "I got f***ed by the car dealer." 3. Resignation "Oh, f*** it!" 4. Trouble "I guess I'm f***ed now." 5. Aggression "f*** YOU!" 6. Disgust "f*** me." 7. Confusion "What the f***.......?" 8. Difficulty "I don't understand this f***ing business!" 9. Despair "f***ed again..." 10. Pleasure "I f***ing couldn't be happier." 11. Displeasure "What the f*** is going on here?" 12. Lost "Where the f*** are we." 13. Disbelief "UNf***INGBELIEVABLE!" 14. Retaliation "Up your f***ing ass!" 15. Denial "I didn't f***ing do it." 16. Perplexity "I know f*** all about it." 17. Apathy "Who really gives a f***, anyhow?" 18. Greetings "How the f*** are ya?" 19. Suspicion "Who the f*** are you?" 20. Panic "Let's get the f*** out of here." 21. Directions "f*** off." It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a f***ing a******." It can be used to tell time- "It's five f***ing thirty." It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this f***ing job?" It can be maternal- "Motherf***er." It can be political- "f*** Dan Quayle!" It has also been used by many notable people throughout history: "What the f*** was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima "Where did all these f***ing Indians come from?" - General Custer "Where the f*** is all this water coming from?" - Captain of Titanic "That's not a real f***ing gun." - John Lennon "Who's gonna f***ing find out?" - Richard Nixon "Heads are going to f***ing roll." - Anne Boleyn "Any f***ing idiot could understand that." - Albert Einstein "It does so f***ing look like her!" - Picasso "How the f*** did you work that out?" - Pythagoras "You want what on the f***ing ceiling?" - Michaelangelo "f*** a duck." - Walt Disney "Why?- Because its f***ing there!" - Edmund Hilary "I don't suppose its gonna f***ing rain?" - Joan of Arc "Scattered f***ing showers my ass." - Noah "I need this parade like I need a f***ing hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy |
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| #6 12:53pm 29/06/01 |
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Duke
Posts: 326
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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"Scattered f***ing showers my ass." - Noah hahaha thats hte funniest |
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| #7 03:07pm 29/06/01 |
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Phoenix
Posts: 397
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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ROFL! |
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| #8 03:47pm 29/06/01 |
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maxe
Posts: 2346
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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"What the f*** was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima takes the cake. |
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| #9 04:34pm 29/06/01 |
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Splash
Posts: 940
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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thats what you think |
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| #10 04:41pm 29/06/01 |
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Toll Booth Willy
Posts: 425
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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SEEEE The word f*** is THE most vercitle word in the English Language. It can be used for soo much O you missed it can be used as part of a word. Inf***ingcredible, Outf***ingstanding |
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| #11 08:10pm 29/06/01 |
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Crunchy
Posts: 277
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
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hahah eds "That's not a real f***ing gun." - John Lennon hahahah |
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| #12 08:11pm 29/06/01 |
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