One of my favourite past-times is sitting on the phone for extended periods of time with telemarketers inducing them to believe that they have a "live one" on their hands. (Hey it was a slow day.)

Example: I just had some Indian sheila selling me on the benefits of reducing tax through negative gearing (duh). This was their 3rd telephone call to me so they must have thought I was in their target market.

I spoke with her for a good 15 minutes all about my personal financial situation, then she zones in for the kill (which I know is already coming because I have done this one before) with the "customised tailored report" detailing how I can save $12-14k per year in tax etc.

Because it is so detailed they want to send a consultant around to present the report and explain it to me. I tell her she can post me the info but there is no way I am meeting with their consultant. She tries for another 5 mins and I finally tell her, it ain't gonna happen darling.

Then she says thank you for my concerns and hangs up.

I have previously gone further with this scam, meeting the consultant at my home, offering him coffee and signing up to all the documents, pulling the plug in the cooling off period but that one took A LOT of time.

What nasty lengths have you gone to, to sucker a telemarketer into thinking they have a sale coming?

Buying an air horn.

I've tried picking a single word, or two words, and seeing how far through their spiel I can get by using only that word (or those words). "Yes" is the obvious choice for an easy single word. I actually got sold an insurance plan once using the word "yes", and canceled in the cooling-off period.

The other one I've used is to feign bad phone reception, make them repeat what they are saying, string them along through their sales pitch at a painfully slow speed, repeating things over and over.

I just tell them im under 18 and they say oh ok can you go get your parents for me
put the phone down and just go back to the xbox

My boss has an 'alias' for work when telemarketers ring up. Its funny seeing some mail with his stupid alias name haha. He generally goes on and talks about complete s*** too them, like his made up religion, made up business names that he's already got a better deal with, his 'occupation' (habidashery) and other things. He sometimes sits down for 20 minutes or so babbling s*** too them all the while I'm trying to work on a car but can't help laughing my ass off.

I've just taken to talking crap.. One rung up the other night trying to sell "cheap" airfares to anywhere on Australia's East Coast. I ask "Does that include travel to the moon? I've always wanted to go into space", only to be met with silence and "what?". I tell him that I'm really keen on space travel and it's been a life long passion of mine to visit the moon.

At this point I got hung up on. Was so very full of win, had a good laugh as I've never managed to get one to hang up on me before.

I asked one for blowjobs cos my mum doesn't give them good enough - this was met with a huh?

isn't it illegal to ring up homes now if they're on that list thing? we just swear at them and hang up.

i don't have the patience to spin 'em along much... but my latest thing is when they inevitably say 'don't worry sir we aren't trying to sell you anything, this is just a marketting survey!' i answer with 'that's too bad i really wanted to buy something just now' n hangup.

I'm too nice to be a c***:(

i don't get those calls, but i also don't give out my phone numbers too freely.

sif take time out of ur day to talk to them, let alone meet with them and offer to make them coffee.

I like demon's idea, as they're the only calls I get now thanks to that blacklist thing

sitting on the phone for extended periods of time with telemarketers inducing them to believe that they have a "live one" on their hands.

if thats one of your fav pastimes you need to get a life motherf***er.

yer, i usually just flat out hang up, or if i feel like giving the telemarketer a serve, i say "petal, its for you" and hand the phone over

sif take time out of ur day to talk to them, let alone meet with them and offer to make them coffee.

It's not really a big sacrifice of time compared to say playing wow.

wouldn't the consultant have won if you agreed to it and bailed in the cooling off period? cos he'd get the commish anyway?

Spook: irl do you really call her petal?

Say 'what?' over and over and over until they hang up. hahaha. Takes em a while sometimes.

i just say.. not today thanks anyway and hang up

asif string them on, thats just wasting your own f***ing time

you must be a fcking lame lowlife to have that little going on to do that

the clear loser here is you infi

but you play wow though exis

rofl exis clue up and have a joke. wow is getting to your head

yer

Oh god. I feel dirty but I agree with existence.

Go do something productive or even just something fun but less detrimental to other people's lives.

i have 2 things that i do. i wait till they start their speel and then put the phone down and go on about my day, ocassionally checking back in to see if they are still on the line. if they are i say that i am sorry and that i was thinking about it, but didnt really understand could they go through it again slower this time.

or i just listen for a bit then say, hold on a sec do you mind if i put u on hold, then dont go back to them.

the longest i have had someone stay on the line was a little over an hour, but i went back to her a few times and then gave hints at buying signals.

if they are going to waste my time, i will waste theirs. i have been a telemarketer, and im bloody good at it, 90% of them suck and miss buy signals, or just read from a script. if i get a decent person on the line i kill it early and tell them they were really good and if i was in the market they would have sold me.

^ reminds me of that scene in boiler room where the dude gives the telemarketer tips on how to make a sale, then the telemarketer asks if he will buy his newspaper subscription offer, and he says nope :)

hahah you people get phonecalls from telemarketers

The ones I get at work for office supplies/ink etc and they ask who to speak to regarding that I tell them they aren't here but you want to speak to either: an employee who no longer works for us; or the name of the bloke beside me at the time. They always call back asking for said person :) It can be fun, piss off 2 people at once.

Another one is to find the most expensive printer for whichever supplier calls you and let them work hard for the sale. They usually get their manager to take over the call.

do not call list

it is your friend