tl;dr guys can suck a massive cock because you're the only ones missing out.

copy and pasted from another forum I post on. cliff's notes include because that's just how we roll over there. Obviously read the first post then immediately the second post to see where things went.

Cliff's Notes:
Meet girl in bar in Australia - no sex.
Girl rings me to invite to China.
I arrive China, girl tells me has child and husband.
Husband takes us all out for dinner and drinks.
Husband leaves town.
Girl invites me to stay with her for the rest of my holiday.


So the back story to this little adventure can be found here(QLG crowd find it in the 3rd post down).

I flew in on Tuesday, I'd managed to get some valiums before the flight and was surprisingly well refreshed. I'm greeted at the Airport by the girl in question she looked good, she was shorter than I remembered but I'm definitely still looking forward to the two weeks at this point. The conversation is ok, we take a taxi to the hotel she's booked for me.

I'm not too sure what the evening has planned at this point, despite the fact it's my first night in town, i'd been out partying virtually everynight for three weeks or something now and a big part of me wouldn't mind just a nights rest.

As I mull over what to do, I ask her for some suggestions, like where we might have dinner? Drama bomb time, as she's sitting on the hotel bed while I unpack she says "Do you want to come and see my baby?..." --- huh, uhh I sought of dismiss this, she follows it with "yes, I know it didn't come up but I have a baby and husband" --- [censored] oath it didn't come up. I figure at this point you know what the hell do I have to lose, I'm already here I seriously have to follow this through and I can't exactly have a tantrum and stay couped up in a hotel room for two weeks.

We head off on the taxi ride, she repeatedly asks me if I'm now regretting coming, I assure her if she goes through with her offer to take me out and get me drunk and party everynight it shouldn't be a problem. Her husband it emerges is an Australian also, who works around South East Asia and as chance would happen leaves for a months work in Laos the next day.

I meet the family at a coffee shop, it's certainly surreal, he is very quietly spoken and doesn't talk much, which is difficult for me because it's basically all I ever do in social situations. He genuinely seems like a nice person though and all I have running through my mind is what the hell must this guy be thinking about me. His wife is also extremely flirtatious from the time she picked me up from the airport up until now and infront of him she has been poking, grabbng and slapping me playfully.

So I basically decide the only solution here is to get drunk, we drink through the afternoon, grab some dinner. I'm able now to see the lighter side of it so we kick onto a real bar where much much more alcohol is bought and mostly just consumed by me, new friends arrive and it is generally a merry time, though for moments I almost burst out in laughter because I still can hardly believe it.

During this part of the night or perhaps it was over dinner, it is explained to the husband that I only have three nights accomodation booked and after that i'll be staying in the family home because it's convenient and paying for a hotel would be silly. This is fine with him.

During the latter part of the night, the girl takes me a side to ask me to do some favour apparently another guy has been chastising her and she says she'd like me to, some other night, come out and pose as some kind of thug/lover to scare him off. This is really water off a ducks back at this point, sure i'll do it.

An hour later I'm outside and run into the first other foreigner i've seen in this district, we get chatting. I think he'll love to hear the story of how i've arrived at the night, I think it's funny and I obviously tell him how it's ok I'll be staying with her once the husband is gone. No doubt I told the story from my particularly drunk and slanted side, but hell this is my story.

I return to our table in the bar, and not 15 minutes later who should arrive at our table but the other foreigner of the previous paragraph, having a somewhat animated conversation with the girl. Of course, this is the guy I was intented to muscle out.

The girl wasn't upset in the slightest, I had a night off from it all last night and most likely will through myself back in to the fray again tonight.

I really don't know what's going to happen, but i've still got 12 more days here so I hope to at very least get laid.

Hahaha guys, guys I wish I could make up something this good, unfortunately my imagination is just not that good so I'm forced to live out the crazy thoughts that others come up with.

So we should continue because I have woken up early and had breakfast just to come out and fill you all in.

Yesterday afternoon, I wander a little bit around the city, don't take any photos because they're either of lame cultural stuff or the real photos of people in the street doing real life stuff that would interest most people I'm too shy to take.

I get a call from the girl, she's just had a driving exam, it didn't go well but I should come over to her place and we'll make some plans for dinner with her friends.

I get there she lets me in and says she was just about to take a shower, she goes off, I watch an NBA Rockets game on TV, because that's all there is ever on any channel ever here. She pokes herself around the corner of the wall to tell me something, but showing enough flesh that she's obviously in her underwear.

Her place is really nice also, the husband told me the previous night out he bought it, he is some kind of engineer.

She showers and clothes herself then comes out and sits down while we think about the next course of action, thinking now I have nothing to lose I break into some tale which contains nothing more than a few in between phrases to tie all the sex and drugs together. She starts telling me about her only lesbian relationship, 'right on' I think, this is getting where I want it to. As she tells the story she slides accross and starts rubbing my dick, ehh sorry for what's really an anticlamictic story I throw her down on the couch there and then and [censored] the [censored] out of her. Actually in all honesty I haven't been laid in a month and it was lucky to have lasted five minutes. We did however go out for dinner and I drank some beers while she played mahjong.

When we returned to my hotel room I found out that she may infact just be a crazy crazy whore, she wanted it all ways under the sun and extremely rough.

So there we have it, I basically just attract fun and adventure though I must say that me ability to act on impulse with no thought of self preservation or the future does tend me towards these types of activities.

Might you all fly around the world, sleep with some guys wife and live to tell about it.

BACKSTORY mentioned in OP

I met a Chinese girl back in Australia one night out, we got talking I wowed her with my Chinese, she was interested we went out another night, but didn't get to close the deal but hooked up. She left my city and went on a holiday around Australia after this and occasionally messages me on msn.

During the course of our conversations she told me in a not too subtle Chinese manner she is filthy rich, her dad owns a mine was the jist of it.

Fast forward 2 or 3 months later she calls me today to say she misses me and I should come to visit her, I'm fairly degenerate so I say ok and book a flight for two weeks time to stay two weeks.

Then she sends me a message just now after we've been talking on the net that says "when u come, could u help me bring something plz?" - so BBV am I going to be used as a drug mule or what? It seems strange to go from Australia to China for drugs but ehh it's all a bit strange, oh and she's offering to pay my accomodation and food and drinks while i'm over there with her.

So BBV what's the play, ring up tomorrow and cancel the ticket which I still haven't paid for or through myself in there for at worst a great story I can write from deathrow in China?

WHAT IS THIS THE GREAT WALL OF TEXT??

wake and bake and read!

rofl

tl;dr

honestly though i'll buy you a drink if you don't read this and find humour or jealousy (of me obviously because I lead a ballah lyfe) in it.

[07:22] *** Joins: imitation (~tim@222.172.246.50)
[07:22] (imitation): hi
[07:22] (imitation): awake?
[07:35] (Scuzzy): what
[07:40] (imitation): hi
[07:40] (imitation): just that well i made a really epic qgl post and i know it's early
[07:40] (imitation): but i'm awake
[07:42] *** Quits: imitation (~tim@222.172.246.50) (Quit:)

Oh ok then

i read it

it's not funny

nor am i jealous, OMG YOU GOT SEX, WOW?

nice story though.

(nude) pix or lying
pm them to me to avoid life long banning

last edited by Spook at 09:14:40 20/Nov/07

i don't get it.. you flew all the way to china to f*** some whore who you couldn't close in a bar in sydney, which was actually just a cover for u to smuggle something out of australia for her???

are there posts missing?

Needs pics
1. of you so we can understand why you'd go that far for a root (ps. brothel is probably cheaper, cleaner and less likely to result in your death).

2. of her only so we can laugh and stuff at the midget.

3. of your new digs at Shangai Prison (ps. stock up on soap on a rope, can't drop it if its on a rope)

also what the f*** is BBV ?

behind bris-vegas (gay mans club?)

are there posts missing?

I thought it was all out of order like Pulp Fiction.

BBV is Beats, Brags, Variance.

yeh no s*** I could have stayed in Brisbane and gotten laid, but how many of you have the balls to fly x000 miles to f*** some random, this is like the ultimate booty call, forget "hey i'm in the valley i miss you let's meet up?" I flew to china for popped out a kid pussy,

SURPRISE BABY AND HUSBAND!

Waiting for epic post about penis turning green and smelling like rotten meat.

You're a strange guy.

Penny pics or lying. Take a photo of her, and post it in this thread stat. Holding some form of Chinese currency.

but how many of you have the balls to fly x000 miles to f*** some random, this is like the ultimate booty call

Not many, if any.
Probably very few QGL members have crushed their testicles in a vice while reciting Keats' 'Kubla Khan' and playing 'Good Golly Miss Molly' on the sitar either, but whats your point?


So basically you flew halfway round the world for a root. If she had have come to you it would have been impressive. You going to her is kinda desperate don't you think?

Also, if she was a supermodel and you got busy with her and three friends after a night of outrageous partying and a Hollywoodesque sequence including a car chase, Chinese gangsters, a mysterious man in black, jumping off a balcony onto a cloth awning, knocking over several fruit carts and singing "Walking on Sunshine" to a group of complete strangers dressed in drag, then high five.
Your story about flying to China to bone some adulterous hard up whore with a kid does not quite cut it.

PS What does tl;dr mean?

to long, didn't read

If Imitation hadn't told me a week or so ago that he was going over to china to hook up with some random chick then I probably wouldn't believe it either.

He is unfortunately telling the truth as only he has the curious power to attract this much trouble.

Don't get stabbed Chode.

the furthest i would travel to get some azn poontang would be sunnybank.

Congratulations.

oh that whole s*** boring story was about how he had to travel to aching chong chinaland to get laid by some whore?

surely you coulda got a prostitute cheaper over here?

lol strex, i pay that, so are you guys holding off on the QGL get together until I return, have a feeling this story might be better receieved with my own distinct story telling

denny, go watch mattie on youtube, he has a clip, honestly if you can watch it and not tell me he is basically doing me as his routine....

Haha I reckon Incred Veg's story woulda been funnier than the original (which I didn't read) and it certainly couldn't beat Strex's joke - as if anyone would even go to Sunnybank.

Yeh but srsly... flying to another country to get pussy is the lamest thing I've ever heard of. I vote for Obes suggestion of pics so we can see what mingers you both are.

mate, you get a thumbs up from me ! Free holiday to china, free sex on the side.. whats not to like.. Just hope your not being setup for something odd.. the husband cant be that dumb for someone whose supposedly that smart. Maybe hes gay ?

keep us posted.

imitation's funeral will be held next Tuesday.

right after he becomes a lawyer obviously

check do you have all your kidneys???

seriously if my kidneys still have some function at this point i'd probably trade them for what I can get on my travel insurance.

2+2 ftw!

ty for the love python.

Questions:
What does she do with the baby when you go out drinking and all the rest?
Also what was the 'mystery package'?
And what happened when the 'other guy' came up and started a heated discussion? Did the husband just sit there?

This story raises more questions than it answers.

Stik3r: I didn't see where he said that she paid for his flight.

what the f***

long story short:

he now has aids

meh, he only has to pay airfares.... 2 weeks with all accom and food sorted is a pretty sweet deal ... and to get this, all he has to do is shag some semi-decent looker rotten ? not much cause for complaint imo.

and to get this, all he has to do is shag some semi-decent looker rotten ?

More like shag some rotten looker semi-decent.

that was pretty lame. paying thousands of dollars to f*** the same pussy you could have had for free. weird indeed. oh well hf

Actually in all honesty I haven't been laid before in a month and it was lucky to have lasted five minutes.

I did some proof reading, and I fixed up a spelling and grammatical error that really perplexed readers. Its now contiguous with the truth. Thus the motivation of the desperado in this novel chap's Quest For Glory now makes sense!

dude havn't you been in trouble in China before?
haha f*** that s***.

go hit ya local rub n tug next time, less risk of firing squad and also you can a massage.

hohoho J, your wit exceeds all who've come and all who'll go, in 8yrs 6 weeks is my longest dry spell.

Guys I spent $1400 on an air ticket, that's it, too come to China for two weeks and party in big clubs every night until 6 or 7 in the morning, have food cooked for me and f*** a kinky whore. Sheltered lives in Brisbane might not pick up that this is actually a f***ing fantastic deal.

Hahahahahaha way to get touchy.

Post on more forums about picking up hookers :P

is actually a whore by profession or is that just a derogatory term?

anyways, the whole story seems like more of a big boast/wank then anything truely interesting.

you went to china chasing some skirt you couldn't close on in Australia, then discovered she had a husband and kid and stuck around anyway and then f***ed her and afterwards staying in their house.

you even say the husband seemed like a nice guy, yet you still f***ed around with his wife, doesn't speak much for your character.

all up, the story makes you out to be a bit of a tosser who, after going around the world to chase what turned out to be a married mother, can think of nothing better then to brag about it.

Is this anything like the movie One Night in China?

really, without pixtures, this all means nothing to us

im a littled weirded by the fact that you f***ed this chick after finding out she had a husband and a kid, like fair enough root a chick behind the dudes back, but in his own house in a different country while hes away and you all well and knowing... kind of a scum bag thing todo. either way good for you and kudos for having the balls to go to another country for (almost) pre-arranged sex.

This is a f***ing LAME thread.

First of all you can't seal the deal in Australia, so you go to f***ING CHINA in a hope to get laid.

Then its all revealed why:

As she tells the story she slides accross and starts rubbing my dick, ehh sorry for what's really an anticlamictic story I throw her down on the couch there and then and [censored] the [censored] out of her.

So you couldn't even initiate after chasing pussy that far.

weird story, perhaps I would have agreed it was worth posting, but the delivery was poor and it has clearly been badly received.

thumbs down overall, but can imagine that your friends think it is f***ing hilarious, I have a mate in Hong Kong at the moment who would do something exactly like this and it would be funny if he did. Seeing as I don't know you, its not as funny!

get that std test stat