lol, like I care - I just hope this thread delivers some home grown comedy

Oh, for me - early 20's.

But I've got an excuse... I'm f***en ugly.

Ask your mum, she'll tell ya.

s***, i'm game for this social experiment...
I lost mine at 16 but in saying that I have had some lengthy droughts every now and then since :/.

The starting age doesn't bother me so much as the on going activities.

hahahah ++1

someone had to say it, but so fast.

I lost mine to one of my socks if that counts.

Young enough that if my daughters do the same, I will lock them up until they are 30!

haha 18

katbashing is so 2006

What was his name Pave?

earlier than some, later than others.

shut up persay.

15 nearly 16.

I still haven't :'( I'm 27 :( But I find it really hard to talk to girls

lol persay

19 and I couldn't sit down for days...

Absolutely FAIL first time when I was ~13 (I was like wtfbbq is this s***, all I cared about back then was pokemon)... so yeah, next time at 18 made more sense and I generally take that date :)

I thought you were married? to miss palmer?

I am yet to talk to girl besides on internets. Maybe I could teach them how to play tf2.

To your mother, every night


and no there cant be enough mum jokes in this thread

Absolutely FAIL first time when I was ~13 (I was like wtfbbq is this s***, all I cared about back then was pokemon)... so yeah, next time at 18 made more sense and I generally take that date :)

How the hell did you find a girl wanting to have sex with a 13 year old?!?

she was 8

Guys it's CHUB. All you have to do is read the other side of the spectrum of what he said... ie He's still a virgin like me

CHUB you really need to act less cool, cos your uglier than me :\

Chub beats you all again.

lol you should add in a "how many are you up to" as well to see some hilarious lies.

Haha my first time was pretty young - I went out with some super keen chick and she really pushed for it. I kinda regret it that it was so early but I guess that's life. At least I didn't get her pregnant... that I know of.

What's worse though than anyone's first time, is when you're with some chick and it's THEIR first time... HAHA that is the worst thing ever.

what about the virginity of the anus. when did you all lose it?

I lost my V's the day before I turned 16. Pretty good pre-birthday present if you ask me.

Guys it's CHUB. All you have to do is read the other side of the spectrum of what he said... ie He's still a virgin like me

CHUB you really need to act less cool, cos your uglier than me :\

Troll accounts FTL.

Yeah I'm not a good looking guy, but ANYONE can get laid, you just set your standards appropriately... I'm probably around the 6/10 mark, so I go root 6/10 chicks :)

i'm saving myself for marriage.

i dont ride bikes in case my hymen breaks.

i loled irl.

this thread is going places

this thread is going places, I shall call this prime piece of realstate "teqland"

also, hahahahahahahahahaha
kat bashing, pave snapping, underage sex and nerdy virgins
what more could a thread want

edit: damnit taggs, I so typed my post before you I just didn't hit enter quick enough

this thread is going places

I think it really needs pictures to take it to the next level.

pave snapping

?

it's because you're gay and your first time was with a man

you're confusing me with yourself i think

20's 'cos I'm ugly too.

I'm involuntarily celibate atm. Only because I can't bring myself to root fat chicks.

What's worse though than anyone's first time, is when you're with some chick and it's THEIR first time... HAHA that is the worst thing ever.

Nothing better than breaking in a virgin, but if it's your first time too, then yeah I can see where you going with this...

18 myself to a lismore slut :(
was good fun though :)

last edited by Martz at 15:34:28 04/Nov/07

13

my first time was with a virgin
I was awesome

How many of you have gone to a prostitute? I have ... I went once, wouldn't do it again.

When I went to the farm on a holiday, there was this sheep in the stable, and I nurtured and tendered it, I also fathered a child of half sheep\ human stature.

How many of you have gone to a prostitute? I have ... I went once, wouldn't do it again.

Never have hopefully never will feel it's necessary. I have mates who have... Personally, if I'm that desperate I'd rather go hit on random girls at the pub and spend ~$50 on drinks on them. That is usually pretty effective. (It also helps that I'm really really good looking.)

haha can't say i have slaps

haha can't say i have slaps

i was 19 she was 16. glorious.

yeh well we all pay for it one way or another

Do sheep count?

is that why you wouldn't do it again :p

I'm involuntarily celibate atm. Only because I can't bring myself to root fat chicks.

Well it's a trade off... good face + chubby, or bad face + hot body.

I've rooted some chicks with shocker heads on them, but if they physically fit, they're still good in the sack.

Don't diss the chubby chicks, they need loving too :) Just put them on top, extra pressure.

yeh well we all pay for it one way or another

Lol yeah. Just curious how much did the experience set you back?

they're called "prawns" chub, ie. you pick off the head and keep the body

Just after my 15th birthday. Was with my high school girlfriend of the time, and was her first time as well. Seemed so sneaky at the time (which I suppose it was), having her come around after school before mum/dad get home from work.

Lol yeah. Just curious how much did the experience set you back?

I think it's more than just a monetary set back, if you know what I'm saying.

also, drunk girls will let you do more things to them than pro's

never

also, drunk girls will let you do more things to them than pro's

Agreed, but they give the worst head ever.

i f***ed a prostitute once, in kingscross
i didn't plan it, just got drunk with mates,
went to the cross and next thing bam

it was in the place that features in the movie 'two hands'

also, drunk girls will let you do more things to them than pro's

f***ing aye. After a couple of cruisers the dirty slut comes out in all of them.

if you know what I'm saying.

what are you saying?

i may know what hes saying, if you know what im saying

I think the term you're looking for CHUB is "more cushion for the pushin'"

15, probably wasn't a good idea. She was a dirty skank and gave me crabs :(

Was a bit of a rootrat in my teens before I settled down. Quite happy with how it worked out in the end, every cranky old married guy needs memories to get through life :)

Agreed, but they give the worst head ever.

I disagree

I'll be the judge of that...

lol chub your a f***ing tool :)

15 here I belive cant really remember.

hahahah hog thats so unlucky.

16 i think here

ffs you are all dirty perves

older girls have the skills to pay the bills re: head

there is no contest there

older girls have the skills to pay the bills re: head

there is no contest there

orly?

WTB milf.

i was 15 at straddie maggot off my head picked up some bush turkey scrubber and f***ed her up in the bushes up the beach

then got another root from a actually hot chick the night after, and that sex was epic

short, but epic

not milf's, just older

14 and 9 months on a scout camp. rock on.

isn't scouts for boys? how does that work ?

say no more

Thread still needs pics I say.

Scouts is for boys and girls these days, regardless slinky still got fudge packed instead of going for the skirt.

pics of what ?

*Runs for cover, narrowly escaping the flying chunks of testosterone.*

pics of what ?

The ladies? Or the act...?
Probably need a fast shutter speed to catch the latter.

haha alright, i'll post my hottest so far

well i think she's f***ing great not really concerned when you c***s think but here goes

http://members.optusnet.com.au/paveway_s1/sammy.jpg http://members.optusnet.com.au/paveway_s1/sammy1.jpg

same chick that burgz spotted me at gilhoolies with, man she was great lol

met her on the internets too

ok honorable mention:

http://members.optusnet.com.au/paveway_s1/DSC00431-1.JPG

she's cute.

and another honorable mention:

one of my favs, totally cute (she's 31)

http://members.optusnet.com.au/paveway_s1/tash.jpg

what can i say? i'm a sucker for glasses

last edited by paveway at 00:39:53 05/Nov/07

^ more like some random cam whore on the interwebs....

well its on the internet, it must be true

if its true then wow

First chick looks like a conceited cam whore, but the 31yr/o chick is cute as a button.

As for me, I was 19 at the time :)

(+1 for older girls)

haha yeah, but she's real :p and hot as f***

I'm still a virgin

man its pretty depressing to realise how sexually deprived most of you are, for me it was 17.

I suspect your depression stems from elsewhere, and if you're really honest with yourself about why you posted what you just posted you'll probably see what I mean

17 im pretty sure.

Best mate was 16 and lost it to a 28 year old with two kids, f***ing classic.

pics of conquests? wow, remind me not to get boned by paveway

oh harden up or leave the thread, it's just some fun

Were the chains her idea?

Kinky...

Pave, your honorable mention looks like Fifi Box.

bit pissed you didn't post a pic of me paveway

i didn't want to make anyone jealous jim

First chick looks like a conceited cam whore, but the 31yr/o chick is cute as a button.

Cute > hot

Agreed. You get over hot chicks way quicker.

yeah, i initially went bulls***, but then i thought about it. you're right, cute is better than hot.

so ahhh anyone else going to post any pics ?

One caveat to that would be unless the hot chick genuinely doesn't realise how hot she is...

Here are some chicks Mav nailed...
http://trog.qgl.org/up/798215494_l.jpg

haha ah mav, he was a class act thats for sure

zoe was an absolute glamour aswell

last edited by paveway at 12:15:09 05/Nov/07

isn't scouts for boys? how does that work ?

Nope. And it hasn't been for just boys for some decades now. pleanty of chicks to go around. In my old unit, girls outnumbered boys 3 to 1.

I was the first female cub in wellington nz :D

WTB, mav's 2nd chick.

That's just perfect, smoking hot but cute.

pleanty of chicks to go around. In my old unit, girls outnumbered boys 3 to 1.

finally a reason to learn to tie knots^^

you can finally get rid of those velcro runners eh infi

Velcro. The shoe fastener of choice for knot-challenged champions everywhere.



last edited by IncrEdible_vEgetable at 14:57:29 05/Nov/07

Mav's second girl looks oddly familiar..

..and the place looks like Flinders Beach on Straddie?

that's just a bonus jim.

Mav's second girl looks oddly familiar..

..and the place looks like Flinders Beach on Straddie?


http://trog.qgl.org/up/Brown and White Bikini (18).jpg

random sand looks like a certain beach? what the f*** barbecue
there's nothing to identify a specific beach there, looks pretty much like every beach I've ever visited along the east coast island

she looks familure because shes got the generic look about her, probably from every 13 year old boys wet dream period

ohhh... we have a critic.

I say a popular island definetely, either straddy, fraise, morteon, northwest... that about covers it.

Though f***, awesome chick.

I reckon it's somewhere in our universe

are you sure about that

i think its a safe bet

what do you reckon kat? think she needs bigger boobs?

Not being picky but she could do with bigger jugs.

Not being picky but she could do with bigger jugs.

I agree, you just need a handful, nothing more... nothing less.

haha ah mav, he was a class act thats for sure ,

its not hard when you pull the cancer card on chicks.

clearly you didn't know mav

so go f*** yourself

groganus. more like anus.

I agree on the bigger jugs comment. But she has a nice smooth arse. No cellulite ftw

I agree on the bigger jugs comment. But she has a nice smooth arse. No cellulite ftw

WTB: Kat lesbian porn.

all this stuff you want to buy, you have no money

groganus gets ass raped by his uncles herd of pet spider monkeys

all this stuff you want to buy, you have no money

Well I'm still waiting for my personal loan to clear so I can buy a $2500 couch to impress my friends.

i couldn't think of a more grand purchase. congrats.

14, she was fat.

16, she was asian.

She love you long time?

last edited by mission at 10:23:03 11/Nov/07

16. over in 30 seconds. thank the lord

I agree, you just need a handful, nothing more... nothing less.

I've got very big hands...

16. over in 30 seconds. thank the lord

When I was 16 there was nothing I wanted more and you were thankfull it was over? what happened?

she's female, thats what happened

guy didn't believe in foreplay... pain is not fun!

amen sister!

oh, you're a female. That makes sense then:)

Breaking News!!

guy didn't believe in foreplay

guy didn't believe in foreplay

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/getting_out_of_hand.png

lol i don't care about foreplay now, but come on, for my first time? seriously..

With a name like trix, he was probably counting on your expertise.

I tried to give the guy a lap dance. His exact words were "What are you doing?" (and I knew how to give a lap dance, so don't worry about that!!!)

No romance when I lost it! No romance, no foreplay. Come to think of it, nothing enjoyable at all!

Then he had the gaul to call me a brick! Pfft!

Ahh, those were the days!!

haha the guy i lost my virginity to spent most of the time trying to shag my leg anyways! became best mates with him a few months later. i've heard he's improved significantly :)

my first time was romantic. We had been dating for 18 months before we lost it to each other. I was 23 and she was 19.

That's sweet, now that I'm with my fiancee I kind of regret there being anyone else

that's pretty gay applor

Also was just 18, wish I hadn't, wouldn't have without being given many drinks. Live and learn.

wish I hadn't, wouldn't have without being given many drinks

Did you push her back out to sea the next morning?

after a sharks/broncos game lol

that's pretty gay applor

Having sex with a woman is gay? Thats a first...

how is that gay? respect applor :)

its only gay if you push back

Having sex with a woman is gay? Thats a first...

While I can only speculate, I think the evis' call was making light of the fact you said it was romantic and possibly because it took 18 months to happen.

He knows that he could spend a long time with that chicky without bonking her and still want to be around her. That most likely means that it was/is a relationship based on love not lust. Those are the best, if you haven't had that, your certainly missing out.

Tollazor tells the truth

Second that!

Lust fueled relationships can be the nastiest ones

Heh, I think the best ones are a happy mix of both;)

Now you are just being picky

i don't think love can be had without a good amount of passion

I am not saying love doesn't require lust (it most certainly does). But those that are fuelled by lust and lust alone can be pretty nasty

agreed

Agree with Kat.. although those lust ones are awesome fun while they last.

AMIRITE!

triamks knows the score

Lust fueled relationships can be the nastiest ones

but man they are fun while they last

but man they are fun while they last

Yeah my hand fell off just last week.

My hand fell asleep...but I had sex with it anyway.

Is that rape?

lols. yea i agree, i don't think there can be love without passion also, i definitely wouldn't want a r/ship without passion/lust as well

My hand fell asleep...but I had sex with it anyway.

Is that rape?

bahaha

My hand fell asleep...but I had sex with it anyway.

Is that rape?

Were you or your hand drunk at the time?

We were at a party and even though we had been together for a while we had agreed that we would leave the relationship open. We had both seen other people on occasion and just between you and I my hand had gotten pretty hot and heavy with a few chicks here and there, even while I was right in the same room! I didn't mind though. It sort of turned me on if you must know the truth.
Anyway this one night we had started to have a few beers. I mean I didn't even want to but my hand just kept reaching into the esky, feeding me VBs, XXXX whatever he could find. It was like he just wanted to get me spastic. Eventually we were both hammered. He just sort of passed out on my lap and before I knew it I was on top of him. I don't remember unzipping my pants and I am pretty sure we didn't use protection. Anyway he hardly moved during the whole thing and I cleaned him up with an old sock afterwards. I don't think he even remembers it.
The next morning he helped me get dressed but he didn't say a word. Now I am frightened he'll go to the cops, or that he's pregnant. I don't know if I could handle that.


last edited by IncrEdible_vEgetable at 18:24:16 12/Nov/07

hahaha :)

I had just turned 17, he was the same age, and we had been together for over a year at this point. First time for the both of us, awkward and clumsy - and in a tent. Oh and we only had glow in the dark condoms so there was lots of laughing and star wars jokes.

i've never understood flavoured condoms. besides, they don't taste or smell anything like what they're supposed to

i've never understood flavoured condoms. besides, they don't taste or smell anything like what they're supposed to

The sooner you can get better at explaining them to girls (such as the benefits or excuses, or things to try out with them just for the hell of it), no matter how cheesy it takes to get results, the sooner you'll probably understand them.

I just came to say ROFL @ Veggie's tale, thats awesome :P

As for me, 16th birthday, wagged school to watch movies (trainspotting & strange days ftw) and drink stolen beers.. Downed 6 vb's each and suddenly it was on :)

Gotta say tho, I feel like I let the team down with my first attempt, and I never got a second go at her :(

The sooner you can get better at explaining them to girls (such as the benefits or excuses, or things to try out with them just for the hell of it), no matter how cheesy it takes to get results, the sooner you'll probably understand them.

I don't think trixxx will need to wear a condom when she is sexing it up with another girl.

Gotta say tho, I feel like I let the team down with my first attempt, and I never got a second go at her :(

Sadly that it often the case. But practice makes perfect.
I should know.
I am one of those elite few, those Casanovas, who regularly points the needle up into the "30 second zone". You can tell the ladies are impressed, mighty impressed. Usually they don't say a thing. Often they will have to leave the room, no doubt overcome by feelings of euphoric delirium.
It can be lonely at times, but it feels good to know you have satisfied a woman's every need.

Did you push her back out to sea the next morning?

ta thanks for the teary eyed scotch spray all over the benq

15 or 16..

My hand fell asleep...but I had sex with it anyway.

ah yes, the stranger

Gotta say tho, I feel like I let the team down with my first attempt, and I never got a second go at her :(

The statistics on that kind of thing are pretty freaky. It's something ridiculously high like 60%-70% of people they lose their virginity to they never have sex with again. Who knows if there's any real truth to those figures, but I could see them being pretty close.

18 and still a Virgin!

Waiting for marriage.

join the club :P

Waiting for marriage.

Would you buy a car without first taking it for a test drive?

What a relevant comparison.

especially seeing as cars dont learn anything and people do

What a relevant comparison.

Pretty relevant imo. If you are going to commit to someone supposedly for the rest of your life, you want to make sure the sex is at least half decent.

Except a car is an easily traded inanimate object, and a person is well a person.

Does my dick feel good in her vag omg omg

sex is at least half decent

exactly my point, if it can vary that much between people then surely anyone can get better after a few sessions with whoever they're married to even if its complete junk the first time

wow didn't this thread turn it a piece of s***

Except a car is an easily traded inanimate object, and a person is well a person.

Well you could make the argument that something like 50% of marriages end in divorce anyway, which is like the trade in of the car.

A car is (for many people, including myself) a huge financial commitment, and marriage is a huge sexual and emotional commitment, so it seemed like a fair analogy. Sure, one could argue that how good a car is to drive is comparatively more important than how good the sex is in a marriage, but that doesn't mean it's not still very important.

Don't get me wrong I am always gonna f*** the girl before I marry her, but I don't think that particular analogy is relevant.

Some people want to buy a 600ml carton of milk every couple of days. Some buy a litre or two a week. Some people buy the occasional chocolate milk, some strawberry. A milkshake with your morning tea? Sure, why not. Hey maybe you like soy. That's your thing, that's ok. There are some that like powdered milk, although I wouldn't drink it. Skim milk, full cream, Physical, cholesterol free, pasteurised, homogenised, Trim, low fat; the list is endless.

And then there's those guys that just go "Y'know what? f*** it."
And they buy a cow.

........ i see

Some people want to buy a 600ml carton of milk every couple of days. Some buy a litre or two a week. Some people buy the occasional chocolate milk, some strawberry. A milkshake with your morning tea? Sure, why not. Hey maybe you like soy. That's your thing, that's ok. There are some that like powdered milk, although I wouldn't drink it. Skim milk, full cream, Physical, cholesterol free, pasteurised, homogenised, Trim, low fat; the list is endless.

And then there's those guys that just go "Y'know what? f*** it."
And they buy a cow.

What the motherf***ingwhat? You make no sense at all.

you do, pave? can you explain it to me please?

Speculation again. Each to their own?

nah i got nothing lol

I assume your point is that by buying the cow and then getting a large range of expensive manufacturing equipment, you can take the cow's milk as needed and make whatever kind of milk you like whenever you like, or just keep drinking that same tepid fatty milk every day for the rest of your life.

how does this relate to the topic of, when did you lose your virginity?

If you have sex with the cow you lose your virginity? Other then that i got nothing

short, but epic

Once again, little existence comes up with the quote of the thread...

the cow analogy is all about delay of gratification

sounds pretty emo to me

The cow analogy is whatever you want it to be :D

Ok, I lost mine to your mum ok... when I was over after football practice.

But since then, I've kinda been like this guy:

as a few of the others said, practice makes perfect. as if anyone is incredible the first time, or maybe first 50 times, that doesn't mean they can't ever be good. i don't see why you need to "test drive the car before you buy it" sex is important in a marriage yea, but it's only one small part

http://img250.imageshack.us/img250/5186/blackmetaloremocopype0.jpg

lols

erm, generation gap sweetie pie, henry aint emo

Did you just call me "sweetie pie"?

Dude I own a copy of Hard Volume on vinyl. I was listening to Hot Animal Machine when you were still rockin those Bros tapes that the weird guy down the street lent you.

I was actually replying to Paveway's comment.

What I was referring to initially was that sex is like drinking milk.
When you are single you can get all sorts and run around trying all types of flavours etc.

However once you get married you effectively 'buy a cow' as in you only have the one type from then on.

Don't read too much into it. It was a joke, the irony being that when you get married you have all the milk you need but its just plain old ordinary milk.

The cow's funeral will be held next Tuesday.

Lol i got to sentence number 2 on that cow thing and went to the next post.

Some of you 13 - 15 year olds were pretty keen haha.

I find it ironic that the fudge-packers and muff-munchers are so determined to get 'married' when the hetro's are kinda over it.

^-- angry muff-muncher right there.

i'd be angry too if i was a muff-muncher

cars dont learn anything and people do

Agreed. Im not saying you should wait, I certainly haven't - but when you buy a car your commiting to something that is never going to be any different or better from the day you make that commitment. If anything the car is going to get worse with wear and tear etc.

People on the other hand - now why wouldnt you find yourself a little ball of clay that you could mould into exactly what you wanted it to be?

f*** some of you are creepy

now why wouldnt you find yourself a little ball of clay that you could mould into exactly what you wanted it to be?

Would you like to be molded into something someone else wants?

Buying a car and sex in a marriage are so very differnt.
If your car breaks down you get it fixed or by a new one. The old one is scrapped.

The person you choose to marry should be someone who you love. You should be marrying the person, not the looks of that person or how well they perform in bed (or the kitchen, or the car, or the ...) You need to ask yourself, What happens if that person has an accident and looses their looks? What if that person has an accident that greatly reduces their ability to have sex? If you can honestly answer that with something like 'That would suck, we would both move on and still live happily together after an intially trying period' then things are good.

What I'm trying to say is, Once in a marriage (or other similar relationship commitment) you cant simply replace something that has broken down. It soooo isnt like a car.

last edited by Tollaz0r! at 10:56:40 14/Nov/07

Buying a car and sex in a marriage are so very differnt.
If your car breaks down you get it fixed or by a new one. The old one is scrapped.

this is how i live my life with cars and women

except for women substitute, "gets fat" for "break down"

exactly as Tollazor said it. I got engaged to my fiance because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone I love, we both realise that one day we're gonna be old and saggy and not much fun to look at anymore.

Would you like to be molded into something someone else wants?

Thats not the point, the theme was saving yourself for marriage and not knowing what youre getting yourself into in the bedroom.

Assuming that you love one another and want to spend your life together and thus make the commitment, youre going to want to be everything you can in the bedroom for your other half anyway. Even without 'waiting' of course you are still going to fall into a routine of how to pleasure one another they way they like it anyway.

why make the comparison to a car? car comparisons are old.

I'd compare it more to a tv, i wouldn't buy a tv with out plugging something into EVERY hole to make sure it worked.

uhh.. fair enough :)

ahahaha giri

I treat my woman like I treat my plane: I get in her five times a day and take her to heaven and back.
http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/6195/flashheart396x222ym6.jpg

last edited by IncrEdible_vEgetable at 13:32:42 14/Nov/07