A young woman knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

"What is it my child?"
"Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."
The priest turned, took a good look at the young woman and says

"My dear, that isn't a sin... it's simply a mistake."

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.
The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her
ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next
hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped,
his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and
proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down
to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said,

"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I
could relieve your pain if you'd allow me", she said earnestly.

"Umph, ooh, nnoo, I'll be alright, I'll be fine in a minute", he
replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still
clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She
gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she
loosened his pants, and put her hands inside and began to massage
him. She then asked him: "How does that feel?

He replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

Goddamn that's a funny nut joke.

What do you call an abortion in Prague?





A cancelled Czech
(this joke can never be posted too many times)

BAM

maxe wins

maxe is an idiot who should just lay down and die

maxe that joke owned.

MASTERSTROKE!

I'm a hard man to amuse, although when it came to maxe's joke...... it was still hardly amusing.

Fooled ya.

I dont get maxes joke..

Prague is the capital of Czech Republic. A Czech is someone from the Czech Republic. You do the math.

last edited by Booyah at 18:21:32 13/Apr/06

actually i kinda ripped it off scuzzy

its too funny for me I think

a cancelled cheque ... yeah i still can't see too much humour

It's clever, that it. s*** is that a bridge right over there ??????

It is..now we can all get over the f***ing joke.

the real lol is in that abortion is cancellation of a pregnancy?

omg lame

also couldn't guess the handjob one no way nuh uh!

hermi post some u've writted personally :(

you forum failures

jealousy...

is in the air..

What's a monkey and a chainsaw got in common?
They both f*** up trees

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A Headbanger

HEY GUYS CAN I SUCK UP TO MAXE AND SAY HE OWNED THE THREAD AGAIN IN HOPES OF HIM LIKING ME AND MAKING MY E DICK BIGGER?

I rate them ^^

my aunt sent me a Prague shirt that said "Czeck mate" on it....

get f***ed it was a good joke, you smartass.

I came into this thread and all I got was s***ty jokes.

What do you call an abortion in Prague?





A cancelled Czech

GET IT GET IT~!?!?!

HEY GUYS CAN I SUCK UP TO MAXE AND SAY HE OWNED THE THREAD AGAIN IN HOPES OF HIM LIKING ME AND MAKING MY E DICK BIGGER?

jealous much?

mav, i'd swear i just got a case of deja vu...

A woman walks into a pub and sees a really good looking bloke sitting at the bar. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. He says, "Magic Bitter."

She thinks he's a bit of a nutter, so she walks around the pub. After realising that there is no one else worth talking to, she goes back to the man sitting at the bar. She says, "That isn't really Magic Bitter, is it?" He says, "Yes! I'll show you..."

So, he takes a gulp of the bitter, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back into the window. She can't believe it. She says to him, "I bet you can't do that again!"

So, he takes another drink of the bitter, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window. She is amazed. She says that she wants a Magic Bitter. So the bloke says to the bartender, "Give her a pint of what I'm having."

She gets her pint, takes a gulp, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body and dies.

The bartender looks up at the bloke and says, "Superman, you're a real a****** when you're pissed."

heh

the woman's funeral will be next week

^ I see what you did there

oo i get it now, czech is SAID same as cheque not c-zech...
yes i am indead retarded

^^ yes you are.

Someone pass him a tissue to wipe the dribble away.

haahah slaps forehead you funny f*** that was a great joke...

I got a lol out of the Czech joke.

Heard the Superman joke too many times before tho.

jealous much?

yeah totally...

shut the f*** up you f***ing s***head

martha farking zing!!

For a sec i thought you were trying to rhyme it with Martin Luther King.