From: doob@winnaz
Sent: Saturday, 18 March 2006 10:41 AM
To: customer_support@optusnet.com.au
Subject: Dear Optus




Dear Optus Customer Service.



YOUR COCKSUCKING PRODUCT HAS REDUCED ME TO A GIBBERING MAN-APE WHOSE ONLY RESORT TO DEALING WITH THE ALMIGHTY f***ING GRIEF IT'S BESTOWED UPON ME IS TO SCREAM AND HURT MYSELF. Seriously, I am jumping up and down and throwing my s*** in handfuls at the f***ing monitor in some impotent primal effort to get the thing to work. I have been trying to reason, sympathize, troubleshoot and at the most be patient with your product - YOUR PRODUCT, YOUR SERVICE, YOUR CONTRACT BETWEEN DEVELOPER AND CONSUMER THAT THE CONSUMER WILL ENJOY YOUR PRODUCT - but instead the damn thing's been crawling off the desk and taking warm s***s in my gaping mouth. Swear to god, you should have just added a little door to the modem through which a hand pops out and flips me off, because I am insulted that your technical support officers or whatever brainless s***stove three genes short of a monkey FAGNUT attempts to resolve issues without even fluently speaking my language.

WORK WITH ME HERE. 5 weeks ago to the day i signed up to your ADSL+2 plan and was promised connectivity within 5 working days. sweet. 1 week later software arrives i connect up in eager anticipation of high speed nudity. s*** doesn’t work. So I call customer support and 1 hour later am transferred to highly skilled team of madras extraordinaire and butter chicken engineers who tell me they will need to send a technician out in the next 48 hours. 4 days later i call back only to be told your cross-eyed team of tongue-slapping wunderkind have not logged a fault. So again I’m told to wait 48 hours. Tech arrives checks lines, wiring and exchange then ticks off all ok looks at the modem and says it’s faulty and calls Optus to RA the product. 1 week later the new modem arrives. Sweet. plugged in turned on guess what... you could have at least lubed me up before aiming for penetration you sadistic bastards.

This is only the beginning

Fast forward 15 phone calls with an average wait time of 20min/half an hour, 2 new modems, 2 technicians and bordering on my 3rd aneurism I have become a little irate. Not only have your quality assurance team failed to comply with my service level of agreement but im constantly having to deal with people who berate my intelligence and promise solutions, goals and deadlines which lack substance and compromise. So f*** you optus, f*** you very much. Please resolve this issue with in 48 hours or so help me I will do everything in my power to create anti-Optus waves in the s*** pond of sceptical Australian internet users.

so you hate optus? wow thats deep

dude i havnt had internets at home for like 5 weeks, i cant even bare to think about my WoW pvp rank >_<

Hmm, so what seems to be the problem here?

5 weeks? f*** that for a joke, go find a new ISP. I use iinet and they rock very hard.

i have been with optus cable for 4 years now and its only ever been down for 1hour ....1 hour in 4 years isnt bad..maybe u need to get a tech out to your house or something

hahaha, OH NOES MY WOW PVP RANK OMG. Quit the game, its evil pure evil.

yeah but adsl is a different story. i feel your pain

^yer 2 techs have already been to my house and its ADSL not cable. all the different departments just keep shifting the blame =(

hahaha, OH NOES MY WOW PVP RANK OMG. Quit the game, its evil pure evil.

hehe that was a joke. The real problem is i need the net for work and study/assignments as well as banking and even little things like looking up movie times its just really frustrating

last edited by d[o_0]b at 17:20:46 18/Mar/06

Meh, the PVP ranking part is, why would I waste my time getting sucked into a PVP rank grind. Get epics, PVP, who gives a s*** what your rank is. The PVP rewards are s*** anyway. I see people with their PVP rewards and think, omg, you wasted so much life time doing that, and most of them are only blues anyway.. haha and I out DPS them. gg

yep i read your rant i realise its ADSL...if there is nothing wrong witht he lines make sure that there is nothing plugged in to a telephone wall socket with out a filter..even if its only a phone wire with not phone connected.

my friend had a similar problem(optus ADSL) and we found a wall socket with the phone whire plugged in to it with no phone attached, as soon as we removed it the internet worked fine.

other then that maybe something is shorting out your modem..cant really think of anything else

I hope Optus call you up and cut your service after that email, its absolutely pathetic man..

No amount of name calling, s*** flinging and beratment will ever get a problem fixed. Also your demands? You expect them to fix the problem in 48hrs on a weekend or you will create "waves" .. OH NO! Quick to the ADSL rescue mobile.

^^ rofl, pwnt

^what service are they going to cut?

and i didnt send the email its only a rant, one of those venting emails that you write and delete

well that's a waste of my time

die

wait you mean it wasnt meant to be sent UUUh OOOH

Copy, paste, send, comedy.

Meh, the PVP ranking part is, why would I waste my time getting sucked into a PVP rank grind. Get epics, PVP, who gives a s*** what your rank is. The PVP rewards are s*** anyway. I see people with their PVP rewards and think, omg, you wasted so much life time doing that, and most of them are only blues anyway.. haha and I out DPS them. gg

In such an arguement there can be no winners--only many, many losers (5million worldwide).

I hope Optus call you up and cut your service after that email, its absolutely pathetic man..

No amount of name calling, s*** flinging and beratment will ever get a problem fixed. Also your demands? You expect them to fix the problem in 48hrs on a weekend or you will create "waves" .. OH NO! Quick to the ADSL rescue mobile.

I was going to have a go at you for opening old threads, then I saw the date and the name "Optus" instead of Telstra.


Take it to Whirlpool dude. There's prolly a club.


And yeah, I am still trying to sort out s*** for my mother-in-law who was silly enough to get Optarse ADSL :/. The best suggestion I can make is go a different ISP

And yeah, I am still trying to sort out s*** for my mother-in-law who was silly enough to get Optarse ADSL :/. The best suggestion I can make is go a different ISP

I dont know why you say that, I signed up for optus adsl and it seems great (when bundled with local phone). I did everything over the phone and there was no setup fee and I got a free adsl2 modem.

last edited by GreenRedEarthAfterZooYears at 00:00:35 19/Mar/06

i am sure there will be a spare gold medal from the commonwealth games for you G.R.E.A.Z.Y.

i have been with optus cable for 4 years now and its only ever been down for 1hour ....1 hour in 4 years isnt bad..maybe u need to get a tech out to your house or something

I hear you girlfriend.

I've had Optus cable for about that long and I think I've had 2 hours max downtime. Optus cable f***ing rocks very hard!

An ex house mate of mine use to work for Telstra a couple of years ago, they have a notice board where they stick letters/emails like that and have a good old laugh at them.

optus got better with the off-peak and increased uploads. what has telstra done except rape their clients over the last 2 years.

is it true that optus DSL disconnects you after 5 hours or something?

is it true that optus DSL disconnects you after 5 hours or something?

I found if I leave the Optus client on overnight it decides I'm idling and disconnects me, however if you quit out of their application then the connection stays open.

I'm finding the whole off peak data thing great, and I haven't had a problem so far.

As for letters like that... yeah they don't often get you places. We had one company where the support staff had the WOMBAT awards every month Waste of Money Bandwidth and Time. It was a gallery of hilarity.

haha.. doob your original post was hilarious

hopefully its getting fixed today, they are sending another tech think its a problem at the exchange

I've had optus adsl for well over a yeah now and its been rosey the whole time... bad luck dude!

ok so the tech attended this morning and found nothing wrong with the exchange or our lines... I've called telstra and they say they can have cable up and running in 48 hours so im like that sweet as so before i sign anything i get on the phone to optus and they are telling me it will be $260 to break the contract



wt f ?

Tell them to get f***ed, they breached the contract by not suppling you with connectivity within 5 days as promised. But i wouldnt trust telstra's 48hrs delio I've had heaps of problems before with them and my cable.

Wow, how to win friends and influence people

But i wouldnt trust telstra's 48hrs delio I've had heaps of problems before with them and my cable.

yeah normally i would be skeptical of this however i already have the actual cable installed into the house and also have a cable modem at home so its just a matter of them configuring it and away i should go