The world may be your Oyster yet what happens when you get handed a handful of Pistachios?

I have no idea what's going on here so here's a saying :

The best laid plans of mice & men often go astray

You're gay.

I'm so hungry I could ride a horse.

She's good from far, but far from good?

Dont fix it if it ain't broken.

when life gives you lemons, suck on them - lemons taste awesome

f*** me!

"If you see a thread by hermitech on the QGL forums, its probably going to be s*** and make you regret clicking the link to read it."

I wish I had known this saying earlier.

Well paint me purple and call me grimace!

stop being a staunch out you stooge

That's dodgy as a ninja.

Momma always said life was like a box of chicken mcnuggets, you never know when you'll find a severed finger inside.

She has a face like a smashed crab.

gothapotamus

You say tomato i say potato.

voted 5

die you s***loving cum receptacle?

accept the wisdom of tran.

[edit] an oldie but oh so applicable...

asking for advice on the qgl forum is like panning for gold in a sewer, it's not worth wading through all the s*** just for a tiny nugget of gold.



last edited by demon at 10:13:59 11/Jan/06

thook

"Ever had your ass licked by a fat guy in a trenchcoat?"

HAKUNA MATATA f***FACE

Women ... all they're good for is transporting sperm to the toilet.

When life deals you a s***ty hand, CHEAT!

This is so s*** I think of Obe's car and go kill a kitten.

when life gives you lemons, find someone who life gave vodka and have yourselves a party.

I'm so hungry I could ride a horse.

Haha. That reminds me of something a friend of mine use to say:

"I'm so hungry, I could eat the ass out of a low flying duck".

(Hmmm...I didn't know ducks could fly, but anyway, I lol'd).

Ducks can so fly

I'm so hungry I could ride a horse

haha, I like it

They certainly don't hitchhike east for the winter!

He's two seafood bites short of a fishermans baskett

you can't polish a turd

blbk

ask jerds

"I don't need a compass to tell me which way the wind shines!"

(Hmmm...I didn't know ducks could fly, but anyway, I lol'd).

I suggest suicide.

SIF

"f*** you, I won't do what you tell me" - ratm

does the pope s*** in the woods?

'did you say applor?!?'

'Women.. If you could f*** a stubby you wouldn't need 'em'

'As rough as a sand-paper condom.'

'I heard your Dad took it up the ass in jail for a pack of cigarettes.'

'All over the place like a mad womans' s***!'

and a whole lot more PC quotes.

'Your about as usefull as an ass pocket on a vest'

'Talking to you is like masturbating with a cheese grinder,slightly amusing,but mostly painful"

"Well, stone the crows and call me a bitch!"

"you talking to me or chewing on a brick?...Either way you're gunna lose some teeth!"

"He was all over it like a fat kid on a cupcake"
"Looks like someone set her face on fire and put it out with a hammer/pitchfork"

"That chick was easier than solitaire"
Not really sure what i meant by that one cause i usually find solitaire difficult :P but meh i was drunk

last edited by Fizzer at 13:44:34 12/Jan/06

(Hmmm...I didn't know ducks could fly, but anyway, I lol'd).

Classic... I've got a cousin who once tried in leading me to believe that mice had "no bones" and that was why they could get in and out of all the nooks and crannies.

I've heard a couple from here that I don't claim ownership of but I use freely...

You suck a bowl full of cocks.

She looks like she had a fire on her face and someone tried to put it out with a pitchfork.

your about as useful as a condom machine in the vatican

what's with all the "she looks like..." ones

i mean, telling a lady she has a face like a dropped pie is just mean

my own original "here i was thinking i was talking to someone who had downe syndrome, then i realised you were just looking for atttention"

and not mine but meh "who cares if you lose your virginity, atleast you get to keep the box it came in"

Get a black dog up ya.



Also, I thought the "horse" one was: "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the rider"

"I'm so hungry I could ride a horse" is from Family Guy

We put the 'k' in quality.

When life gives you lemons, ask for tequila and salt.

LOLOTI (laugh out loud on the inside)

You're about as useful as a dick in a lesbian porno.

And my personal favourite:

LAAADEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

"Hi, my name is Billy Hardball and I heart Yams"

I wish my lawn was emo...








so it would cut itself.

LAWL!

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on.(This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake ( e.g. you've hit 'reply all') - New Oxford Dictionary definitions .

GOING FOR A Mcs***. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a Mcs*** with Lies.

AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.

BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

BOBFOC. Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS. Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please"

GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nought in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

NELSON MANDELA. Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager)

PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks

SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

SWAMP-DONKEY. A deeply unattractive woman

TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women

'though I walk through the valley of evil, I will fear no death. Cuz I'm the meanest motherf***er in the valley'

last edited by deeebz at 13:42:34 13/Jan/06

^ Wonders if he's just watched "Jarhead".
As it's the latest movie I've seen that has that line in it

last edited by HERMITech at 13:26:27 13/Jan/06

actually it was

Casualties of War (1989)

http://imdb.com/title/tt0097027/quotes

Edit: added link

last edited by deeebz at 13:45:58 13/Jan/06

yeah that was on last night i watched it, twas pretty good.