Yeah so basically word gets around your some kind of pro IT nerd and tech support requests come from all over.. and I'm too damn nice to say no.

Well over time, I've conditioned my family to an acceptable level of tech support through methods which probably only my family would accept and still speak to me again.

Problem is, my sister's friend is a total computer f***ing n00b and her mummy just bought her a laptop (which I had to send her detailed instructions on how to order it via the Dell website - ffs).

And I can feel this turning into a nightmare. I can't cull the friendship like I would usually because she has been a friend of mine/sisters for over 15 years.

And no, sexual favours in return are not an option because I'd be doing her the favour if you get my drift.

So I've already got an sms from her asking "can i get a free copy of office?"....

zzzzz.....

I assume you've all suffered from this problem with family/friends/family friends/their friends/random person on the bus who can't download their email/random person at party who wants to know how the f***en internet works.. etc..

What's a good way to get people to go elsewhere? I can't tell them to f*** off. I could start crying and cut myself but that'd be a little emo.

i pretend like i really dont know that much and imply the people who are saying that i know alot really dont know anything themselves and thats why they think im smart.

ive also pulled the, i dont handle pirated software spiel, and the "oh you should probably pay a real technician to get help with that, as its abit out of my league"

so yeah pull the im stupid card.

I hear ya dude, I get the same thing all the time. The problem is if fix it once they will think you can fix it all the time. Sometimes I just f*** it up so they ask someone else. They always want it done when I am hungover, and i hate working on them when I am like that.

yer, ive been burned as well

used to do it for free, but got to the stage where i was buildling heaps of pcs and it was taking time (all u need is for one component to be slightly faulty and you can be in for a world of hurt)

so i started charging, EVERYONE for my time

still get a bit of work to do lately, (have had 4 machines ive built over the years, start playing up in the last month, sup heat) but i find its much easier to work on peoples machines if you get cash/beers/presents/etc

I have the same problem with relatives here. My solution is a little less tactful than your "i'm dumb" play.. I just accept the box/order/challenge and sit on it for a few weeks. Most of them f*** off and I don't have to worry about it ever again. It's not like they can "un-brother" or "un-nephew" me and it's not like they can pay anything near my current wages for a "my windows is broken" phone call.

I've made it a rule to never accept money. Then you're obligated to fix things when they break it because they'll think your last 'repair' caused their currently unrelated problems ... and having paid money, they'll expect eternal maintenance from you.

A good trick is to not accept money but to ask for favours very often in return. The person is good with cars? Awesome, ask for them to help you fix your car ... often.

Eventually they'll get sick of helping YOU out and leave you alone.

i play the lazy card... works well coz even noobs want thier s*** fixed quick. :D when rellies ring me about computer problems i tell them they will have to drop the hardware over to my place. then if they do bring it over, i tell them to put it in my junk room which is chockas with old computer bits. it's usually at this point they ask if i know a reputable tech that can start on it now :D

for anyone who isnt related i just tell them i dont wanna.

Yeah I get the odd phone call. I usually ask them to explain to me the problem... then I say what? can you explain again... then they explain, then i go ahhhhh no idea what could be causing that..wow seems strange. They then rant on how I do IT but have no idea how to fix things...then I say well I'm doing an IT course not windows XP and noob solutions course so can't help ya sorry buddy okbi.

They don't call again.

just break it, but don't ask for payment. break it for free.

they won't ask for your help again.

"Can you help me with this pc I bought ?"
"Did you buy a dell or hp like I told you to ?"
"um no ..."
"Well then you better ask who ever told you to buy that other thing"


"Can you help me with this pc I bought ?"
"Did you buy a dell or hp like I told you to ?"
"yeah"
"Have you rung the tech support number yet ?"
"no"
"well I don't have their number on me, but its probably in a book that came with it... and if I touch it I'll void your warranty"

And if you really feel you should help someone.
Honestly.. Get them to fix it. Give em a fish they eat for a day, teach them to fish and they'll have food for life. Worst thing you can do is make someone dependant on your for pc advice.

My olds. My brother and my sister have all learnt the basics of what to do when their pc stuffs up. I rarely get a phone call unless its for advice about "what do I need to import movies" or "complicated" things like wireless. But even then I just said go buy "this one or that one then follow the quick start guide". By the time I dropped round to help them install it, they had it all running.

Give em a fish they eat for a day, teach them to fish and they'll have food for life.

Bulls***.

Give em a fish they eat for a day, point them towards a bloody fish & chips shop and they won't bother you anymore.

Say that your really busy, that always works :) (unless u live in close proximity to them)

I usually just refer them on to other people.
"Wow that does sound like a problem, you should go see spook!".

It worked the last four times :D

i use to have the problem too, fixe one thing one day and the next im the extended friends/family's network administrator.

however, my cousin acutally went into IT and works at computer alliance, so luckily i got demoted on the first to call list :)

I let it be known that I use a Mac now :D

haha don't be silly, they all know i'm hetrosexual

I usually just refer them on to other people.
"Wow that does sound like a problem, you should go see spook!".

-Spook +Luke (Older Brother)

Then he tells them to go see me, after a few turns someone gives up (Either Luke, Myself or the person asking for help)

I charge back for any family/friend tech support. $100 for the first hour and $50 an hour after that. If they don't like it, they can f*** off and hire someone else to do the fixing. I fix crap 5 days a week at work, I'll be stuffed if I'm doing it for free on my days off.

i love when someone rings you up on the phone and explains their problem to you, thinking you're going to be able to fix it without looking at the computer in person

lazy card usually works for me, i say 'yeah i'll get around to it' and just don't, they ask again i say i forgot and that i'll get around to it again

My family I can handle, but when I moved into my new place my neighbour noticed all the computer gear I brought in, and came over and asked me to have a look at his (before I had even moved in properly). I did the good neighbour thing and popped the top, to discover a burnt out power supply and a blackened mother board. Still being under warrenty I told him to return it, but he didnt want to stuff around taking it back so I pleaded the "beyond my knowledge" excuse.

I got a call from my old man last night because he "couldn't hear the internet radio"

Turns out he couldn't see the f***ing mute button in windows media player.

Its like they just look at everything blankly rather than actually looking for items / clues / a big punch in the face of what to actually do.


I expected more after not being at home for 7 years.

when i was at global and getting paid bugger all an hour, i used to take on anyone. mind you, always payment. Nowadays, working for the govt, i don't wanna take on anything. I'm quite happy with my salary.

I have two little tricks:
Make sure they ALWAYS pay. Say your hourly rate is like $20 or $25/hr or something like that.
NEVER do it straight away. Always say 'im booked full for the next 5 days/week.'



The bottom line: DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME TO SAVE OTHER PEOPLE MONEY.

Still being under warrenty I told him to return it, but he didnt want to stuff around taking it back so I pleaded the "beyond my knowledge" excuse.

That's the kind of attitude from people I don't understand. You tell them to do something, but they're too lazy, so they expect you to do it for them.

I'll do anything (within reason) computer related. Just so long as i'm on the clock.


IF PEOPLE WANT SOMETHING BADLY ENOUGH, THEY'LL PAY.

IF THEY DON'T, THEY WON'T.

Just tell her that you'd help her but unfortunately you parents always told you now to listen to forked up strangers!

Ask her for sexual favours as payment. Guaranteed to never hear from her again.

Gimpy.

Tell her the truth. Tell her it can sometimes take agges to fix a computer, to get together software and time to install and tweak it. Tell her it isnt fun most of the time. Tell her you dont want to do it or you will only do it twice or something.

Or ask money for it for the above reasons. With reasons that involve time and effort that isnt considered fun most people are happy to pay you a little something for your troubles.

^ Like I said, if you ask for money, it can cause trouble.

Example: You installed a virus scanner for them. Next week their Internet Banking dies (temporary fault with the bank). They'll link the two unrelated events together and might demand that you come back and finish your job (that they paid good money for) properly, for FREE.

If a situation like is something you want to avoid then dont fix anyone's machine unless you volunteer for it, forget the money.
Tell them that it sucks to be fixing computers often and the task itself can be quite annoying many times.
They'll understand, well most of them anyway.

I'll often do a quick freebie for someone if they explain the problem to me and I can identify the symptoms as something common, or near-enough to it. Usually from my friends, I'll get something out of it like a few drinks on the weekend, or similar. It all works out.

However, if you know someone is a complete computer-illiterate retard, and they won't understand what you have done to their system, it can backfire. Getting blamed for something that isn't your fault, that happened after a couple of weeks of them (mis)using their system again, is crap.

Also - a personal favourite of mine is when people ring me up saying their internet is down and asking for advice, I tell them to go and google it and see what they find. Generally it takes them a good 10-15 minutes to realize that they can't use google without the internet, at which time they ring back and have to pay for another phone call.

parabol, i see what you're saying, but i believe that is still too much of sitting on the fence

either don't do it whatsoever

or

ask for money EVERY time. Claim fuel, phone, random expenses.

sexual favours in return are not an option because I'd be doing her the favour if you get my drift.

woah that's hella ugly.

Cant de bothered reading all posts...

Me :: So what do you do you a living?
Them :: I'm trade XYZ!
Me :: Great now that you want me to do ABC for free you can come around and do DEF for free!

There ends the conversation usually.

I told him to return it, but he didnt want to stuff around taking it back so I pleaded the "beyond my knowledge" excuse.

i get that s*** every day. it pisses me off. i just say to them if you can buy it you can take it back.

Example: You installed a virus scanner for them. Next week their Internet Banking dies (temporary fault with the bank). They'll link the two unrelated events together and might demand that you come back and finish your job (that they paid good money for) properly, for FREE.

yeah thats one of the main reasons i hate doing things for people. if you fix something then latter on something else brakes, they always blame you regardless of weather it had anything to do with what you were doing.

last edited by TufNuT at 18:01:33 10/Feb/07

Example: You installed a virus scanner for them. Next week their Internet Banking dies (temporary fault with the bank). They'll link the two unrelated events together and might demand that you come back and finish your job (that they paid good money for) properly, for FREE.

oh that gives me the s***s BIGTIME, but i've had more problems with people who i haven't charged are the worst offenders in this regard.

in order to stop the constant annoying requests to fix some f***ed up computer that joe bloggs has rooted up by looking up too much pron, i just blow them off constantly - ie i'm busy for the next 2 weeks, i'm on nite shift, going out with gf, or the classic, "i've got much better things to do atm"

another problem i had was with people from work getting my mobile/home number from management. qld health has a rather nice privacy policy and once you quote that, there goes pretty much all of the phone calls :)

i'm suprised noone here has said they deliberately installed key loggers on every pc they touch

that would be so 1337

I factor in a couple of things when doing things myself outside of business
- If it's something blazingly obvious, I don't mind spending 5 minutes or so on sorting it out
- If I know for a fact that the person doesn't have the cash to do the job (and are genuinely struggling financially) and they're a mate (not an aquaintance/rele) I'll do what I can to save em a buck or two
(^ these people are generally appreciative an by me a carton of beer when things swing back there way so it's all good!)
- Family, well all mine are ~1,000km north so I don't have to worry bout that
- If it's some random at a LAN whose machine is munted, well, depends on how much gaming I've been able to get in.
- If a machine starts playing up an doing weird s*** while at a LAN an it normally behaves at home, I'll put my money on it being cause they have a flaky PSU which isn't coping with a nice steady flow of juice and revert to previous line

If someone gives me grief over me taking time out to help them for free because they were trying to cut corners etc well, anyone who knows me already knows that you won't get any more help from me EVER.

And for the love of <insert diety / belief system here> if someone calls you and wants your help right there an then an you don't feel like doing it, just say that your in the middle of something an that you'll call em back later or just say outright you don't have time to do it now.

A friend will understand and well, if they don't, no real loss either way

I don't get a lot of problems with this.

My old man is pretty trained up now, and he knows it s***s me to tears trying to fix stuff on the phone. If he gets desperate he will usually bring it around for me to fix, or put on the beers for an afternoon while I play with it.

My in-Laws are nubs and need a fair bit of help lately, mostly my brother in law. But they are pretty umm hesitant about demanding time which is cool, they work around me and I help them where I can.

Never, ever agree to do phone tech support. Listen to the problem, and if its not trivial then its just too hard! Explain that you can't do it over the phone, that it takes a lot of training and patience to do so.

Anyone who I spend a fair bit of time helping for 'free' I make sure I get something in return from them. Almost anyone has something they are good at or can just plain old help out with.

Yes it is annoying but everyone gets it, just make sure you balance out your help karma. Everyone who is an expert at something will put up with this problem. Just make sure you aren't shy about asking for help from people who have fronted you for help - cash in with moving help, car fixes, if its a youngster get them to mow your lawn or something.

I'm not personally keen on asking money, especially from family. Just doesn't feel all that right. If someone starts to use / abuse my knowledge then they get the lazy / too busy / sorry I don't know about that etc. bit.

Also, get a chronic incurable disease. Since I got MS nobody expects me to do s***, and are disturbingly grateful when I offer :p Bright side and all that.

last edited by Hogfather at 20:55:46 10/Feb/07

I charge family 30 an hr for me to do any work for them you dont want to know what i charge there friends