Had a bit of a run-in with one of the chicks here at work after relating a story in which my son received (3 years old) a smack over the weekend for spitting on me.

We don't do a lot of smacking in my home, but we do reserve the right to do so if we think the situation deserves it. Normally, we will just reason or 'counsel' the boy, and normally a growl from his old man is enough to set him straight. But if he steps out line in a big way, he gets an open-hand smack on the bum.

He's never bruised or hurt, and usually gets over it by the time the sting is gone from the smacker's hand. My mother-in-law reckons that she has always had good results with a 'smack and a cuddle, in that order' for more extreme discipline of small kids.

Is this abusive parenting, as the person who had a go at me claimed? I did some reading and it looks like psychologists are pretty overwhelmingly coming down on the side of smacking-is-bad. Then again, having done some study in psychology at uni I don't think that their science is exactly f***ing physics!

My big gripe though is that this person decided it was their right to moralise at me over whether I was right or wrong, and told me I should feel bad for smacking. I might not be doing the best job of teaching right from wrong regarding violence by smacking, but she obviously didn't learn any f***ing common courtesy along the way!

So, there's some parents out there and some people who have strong views on parenting and how it should be done on this forum. What do you reckon?

you did the right thing, anyone who thinks different is a pussy, and pussies get f***ed by dicks

to quote family guy

'shake him like a british nanny'

An open-palmed smack on the ass when the kid is WAY out of line, not to hurt them, just to shock them, IMO is fine (and should be f***ing practiced more often).

Nothing more than that though, like I said IMO the aim isn't to hurt the child, just to shock them and make them go "holy f*** what was that".

Your co-worker is a new-aged f***wit, and her child will grow up to be a piece of s*** because of her inability to lay down some discipline.

Of course, this thread will probably erupt into a big ball fire when the morality police get here to educate us on how it's child abuse, and that I should never be a parent or some s***.

You did the right thing man, your co-worker is a f***head.

yep, f*** that bitch. hit 'em.

Talking is best approach, but if they're being ignorant and a smart ass and think they can get away with it, show them it's not okay with a smack. Kids that merely get talked to are usually the ones who are yelling at their parents in shopping centres about how they want something they can't get. Brats.

edit: When the 'morality police' do come into this thread, agree to disagree or they'll take over. Just remember a smack is necessary to show your kids that what you say goes and kids who yell and scream in shopping centres become emo or goth. /generalisation

last edited by Seven at 12:17:15 08/May/06

Think about it: What's the point of smacking? If the purpose is to convey to the child that what they have done is wrong, then in SOME instances it may be warranted (so long as it is with no more than reasonable force AND so long as it's about teaching the child right from wrong, and not the parents power or ego in the situation). As u seem to do though, explaining to the child what they did wrong is prolly the best option imo. I guess it kinda depends on how old the child is (really young children - 2 or 3 years old - don't have the ability to understand reason, and so a light smack prolly wouldn't do any harm).

Dolphins dont smack their kids.

child abuse is when you beet/starve or otherwise harm a child...this was simple discipline nothing wrong with it, if you dont discipline him now when he grows up he will have no respect for nor will he learn the Consciences of his actions. people who arent disciplined simply end up like thoughs nub who blame everything on everyone else because they were never shown that there actions have Consciences.

Edit: i know some people who only talk to there son..the littel f***er smaked his mom in pulic the other day so hard her glasses flew off..ofcourse he is also a spoilet littel brat..

last edited by TufNuT at 12:18:55 08/May/06

Your co-worker is a new-aged f***wit, and her child will grow up to be a piece of s*** because of her inability to lay down some discipline.

damn straight

I dunno.
What I do know is that I really cant stand seeing in woolworths or whatever these kids going crazy and there mum trying desperately to reason with the kid while its crying its eyes out and pushing s*** over.
Thats when I reckon a good BAM! Fork in the eye!~ Moe off the simpsons style would help.

Naughty Chair FTW!!!

Seriously though I agree with pharcyde - the intent is to shock them so they're all like dubbya tee eff mate not to hurt them. I'm so sick of seeing these new-age "talking" parents that always threaten the hit but never follows through.

Obviously i'm not saying you should snot the kid every chance you get but if you don't when they really screw up then everytime the parent says "if you don't X you'll get a smack" the kid will laugh at the empty threat.

*Not a parent

Yeh that's mostly how we handle it.

If he's just been a dumbarse and broken a toy or thrown his food somewhere, he gets frowned at and told off, made to apologise. If he doesn't see reason a simple 'do you want a smack?' sets him straight, cos he knows we will back it up.

If he does something I consider 'extreme' such as endangering himself or being outright rude like spitting at people he just a up front jolt tp reinforce the OTHER messages we are delivering verbally.

After being smacked and given a little while to think about it, we reinforce what happened. "Why did you get a smack?" "OK say you're sorry" etc.

Just really s*** me that she thought she had the right to step up and moralise at me. If you don't think you should smack YOUR kids then that's your right. Its not like we randomly wail into the boy.

He is a great kid and until he started going to day care and mixing with some of the deads***s there (and the girl works there, there are some really naughty kids out there!) he was a total bloody angel. Now all of a sudden he knows how to spit and swear? f*** me.

There's this one future scholar at his school who likes to do back punches and was apparently wailing away at Kris' head one day (they're too small to hurt each other, but wtf?). I came so close to giving him a boxing lesson ahah but I got cut off :p I have nothing other than her observations to go by, but 9/10 of the little bastard kids seem to be from the new age 'oh don't do that Johnny that makes me sad' parenting mindset.

Argh! OK vent done.

last edited by Hogfather at 12:24:36 08/May/06

I give my 7 year old a smack on the hand when she is misbehaving, that doesn't happen very often though and she knows she has done something wrong if I smack her.

I think smacking is all well in good as long as you have self control. Sometimes people don't know there own strength and end up causing pain rather than just giving the kid a shock.

Now all of a sudden he knows how to spit and swear? f*** me.

lol.




I wouldn't worry about the co-worker. Sounds like u and ur partner are doing an awesome job bringing up ur son.

i dont think that a smack on the butt is bad for a kid. just as pharcyde said, the aim isnt to hurt the kid, just to shock him and mabye make him understand you dont do that stuff. if hes done something bad enough to warrent a smack, then a talking to isnt really going to help him learn that its wrong. abuse starts when you hit your kid with belts, phone cords and s*** like that. its just so messed up and wrong too it does more harm than good.

last edited by DM at 12:34:19 08/May/06

Mate what you did is perfectly fine in my books. An open hand smack is fine. Of course, you'd never smack a kid hard enough to leave a mark (ok maybe a slight redness for a few seconds!), or use any object other than your hand. The damage should be to their ego, not their flesh.

I really don't think young children have the necessary reasoning skills or understand the concept of cause and consequence (especially long term consequence) so a little "chat" is often ineffectual. Smacking is a good way to get them into line and learn discipline.

When the new age mother's kids are dropping out of school, getting pregnant and doing drugs, perhaps then you could suggest she "chat" to them to sort them out.

Does this co worker have kids or do they know nothing about raising children?

children are pretty simple creatures, and they work on the simple notion of reward/punishment.

they do something good - they get rewarded - they continue to do good things

they do something bad - they get punished - they dont do that s*** no mo'

its worked this way for a very long time, and now since these new morality BS techniques have been introduced there has been a decline of respect and discipline in youngsters imo.

ps. i got spanked and i am the perfect citizen, ya caarnts.

i got the f*** smacked outta me and im thankful for it.
im a great guy, happy, honest and all round awesum dude.

more and more i see parents just trying to reason with their kids or just saying the same s*** over and over "timmy no dont please. common now timmy be good, timmy no dont kick that old lady its hurting her, you dont want to hurt an old lady now do you timmy?" that kind of s*** is just plain stupidity and the kid is and will continue to grow up into a real s***head kuntface.


so in short, smack and scare em when they really step outta line. then trickle the love back in after 5 minutes.
dont let the punishment drag on and especially dont go hard on em when its just lil s*** like spilling the milk etc because that will install a sense of non-worthyness in the kid which in turn will result in giving up.

make sure when they arnt acting up that they can sense the love and feel safe and secure in the home.
then again, ive never had kids so WTF do i know!!?

last edited by Fn at 12:47:40 08/May/06

For the first few years of their life children can't really be reasoned with with words. So it is basic. You do bad, bad hurts. You do good, good feels nice.

I agree with what you did. In saying this, I never once got smacked, and I turned out alright. Well, there was this one time where dad caught me smoking billies and looking at his porn with my mates, he didnt like that.

"You do good, good feels nice." - what feels nice

I got smacked as a kid and I can remember I didn't like it, so I didn't do bad things! (well, not as many as I would've if I had've been smacked). We always had the wooden spoon/leather belt threats but I can't remember if we ever actually got them. But it's stupid if people say parents shouldn't smack their kids. Of course what everyone else has said is true as well, it should be if they're really naughty and no other methods work at the time. It's also stupid they took the ruler/cane out of schools, but that's another story. Punishments are there (anywhere in society) as a preventative measure more than anything.

what feels nice

Cuddles, ego stroking, lollies, gold stars, watching tv, etc etc etc

kat if u were my mum could i watch your porn movies if i was a good boy

porn movies belonging to me or porn movies featuring me? The later do not exist

Sounds reasonably to me. Tell your co-worker to mind her own damn business, and if she doesn't, smack her too.

THWAK!

Dolphins dont smack their kids.

No, they tail slap them which hurts a f***load more than a smack and a f***load less than it would if a shark bit them.

Also, agrees with you did the right thing. Spare the rod, spoil the child. That said, overuse of a rod makes it an empty threat =)

A smack on the ass teaches kids "consequences" which no amount of parental blathering can impart to an entity that doesn't understand the language properly as yet.

My mum use to smack me!!! Becase I was a little s*** of a kid and I deserved it. If my Kid spat on me I would smack him untill his ass was red.

smack her too

with a fist

honestly, people have been smacking there kids for centuries. and its only in the last 20 or so years this has been declining. and we are now living in a crime ridden a****** filled world. bring on the stick i say! and yes i was smacked when i was a kid and i will smack my kids.

i agree with all of the above :)

Tell that nosy slut to DIAF

Loving Parental Discipline (i.e. u are teaching them right and wrong because u love them and want them to turn out right) is not abuse

Discipline with closed fist, repeated cuts to humiliate (old catholic schools styles), closing piano lids on fingers that made a mistake etc... is abuse and should be handled accordingly by qualified (/cough) people

I was smacked many times growing up and i reckon i turned out ok and it certainly hasnt scarred my psyche or what ever those idiots reckon will happen.

Not to play the devils advocate.. But if i can smash a 1m classroom ruler over a desk making a huge noise to control a bunch of 40 year 1 kids then you can make your child stop spitting without hitting them... Having said that nothing is quite effective as the instantaneous spit-smack reaction... Obiviously you'd never always want to go straight for the smack as it looses its emphasis over time, just as i'd never go straight for the ruler each and every time.. Mixing it up is the key to controlling kids, do what they don't expect and do it with un-relenting force for the maximum effect.

I say smash the lil c***s until they can't cry anymore.

But if i can smash a 1m classroom ruler over a desk making a huge noise to control a bunch of 40 year 1 kids then you can make your child stop spitting without hitting them... Having said that nothing is quite effective as the instantaneous spit-smack reaction...

Yeh I get what you're saying there - we don't go with the smack as the 'normal' disciplinary measure. He certainly has learned respect for a sharp word and the Dad Voice for sure.

In this case it was pretty instinctive and to be entirely honest a pissed off move. The thing is that as pissed off as I was (and you can imagine how much being spat on pisses you off) he was still my son so he obviously didn't get a serious beating, and hitting him made me feel like a right prick for ages - much longer than he was upset by it!

Hell, I'm a pretty big guy and if I hit my son full strength (even an open handed smack) we're talking about a hospital visit for him, and a well-earned stay in jail for me. As much as his antics can get you steamed, its different altogether than adult to adult anger.

Year One kids are 7 (?) years old though. I fully expect that smacking for us will definetly be well scaled down by then. He is already learning and understanding body language and a look and a sharp word is more than enough for usual stuff.

Funny thing is, the conversation that led to it was how my son eats his bloody vegetables (with some grumbles) but hers won't do it :p

He's never spat on anyone in my presence, and he sure won't be doing it again!

Yep, I was disciplined by force as a kid, and only just turning into an adult, I reckon i'm pretty good.

I'm thankful for being disciplined the way I was by my dad, I mean, i've got a five year old brother running around the house, and as my dad works full time now, my mum can't bare to hit him. She's doing the whole "talk them down" s***, and it just isn't working.

He says no to whatever we say to him, he won't listen, and he'll do what he wants. It's only till when my dad gets home that he gets his act straight and does what he is told, coz he knows he's gunna get punished if he does something wrong.

Hell, i'm still s***-scared of my dad, and I tower over him now...

My dad (and sometimes mum) ruled over my household with an open-handed fist and I always did right by my parents and I've had a killer relationship of mutual respect with my parents ever since. I vividly remember being scared s***less of smackings before too long and my parents could always keep me in line with just the threat of one - I'd mock threats of "No TV" or "No atari tonight", but a smack and 15 minutes of confinement to my (relatively bare and entertainment-free) room spoke to me like nothing else.

I agree with smacking kids, as well as the phrase "don't smack in anger"; it's just a f***ing effective method of discipline.

kids need to be smacked inorder for them to behaive.

I mean just look at todays kids, they are out of control.

My friend is a highschool teacher, he's been spat on, sweared at, had his nipples touched by 2 male students thinking it was just fun, female students asking for his number, the list goes on.

Spanking is fine, but from what I see some parents just do it as a first resort (which is wrong).

I remeber when I say a mother go absolutely apes*** at her daughter in the supermarket who had grabbed something off the shelf. Pretty much lifted her of the ground by one arm and let fly with 3 solid wacks to the backside. Everyone around her just stopped and stared. I think that was going a bit to far.

last edited by Tanaka Khan at 17:53:09 08/May/06

I've had countless wooden spoons broken over me when I was young from being smacked, i used to laugh :) So in short, smack them, stop crying over it cause it needs to happen, children don't listen to reason. Soon you won't even be able to look at your own child because you are causing the kid grief.. ffs.

Smacking your kids in public isn't something that I would promote. Although when in the public, the kids are more inclined to act like spastics, but I believe you should try to refrain from disciplining your kids physically in public. As mentioned before, when an adult basically assaults their kid, not just disciplining them in public, they become just as bad as the kid imo.

I havn't got the motivation to read all your gay responses.. heres my 2c

I was smacked.. i would never listen to my mum when i was in trouble unless she had the wooden spoon..

Kids arnt intelligent enough to "get it". Smack em.

childrens brains arent wired to be able to reason until they are around 5 or 6 years old. trying to talk sense to a kid will go out the window 5 minutes later when they are being a smartarse again. a smack gets better results.

Smacking your kids in public isn't something that I would promote. Although when in the public, the kids are more inclined to act like spastics, but I believe you should try to refrain from disciplining your kids physically in public.

this is probably a good way to teach your kids that it's ok to misbehave in public. kids are absolute masters at exploiting inconsistencies in your discipline.

as for the original question, I reckon it can be appropriate to carefully smack a kid but it's a bad idea to do it as a reaction. it's certainly no-one else's business to be telling you that you're wrong to do it if it's clearly not abuse you're dealing out.

My big gripe though is that this person decided it was their right to moralise at me over whether I was right or wrong,

Spit on them. :P

I think Boxhead probably knows his stuff pretty well though.
Considering he has to deal with kids and can't 'smack' them.
Only thing I wonder on is things like the ruler technique - The kids surely must see that as a perceived threat, learned probably from being smacked at home etc?



One thing is for sure though, these "pyschologists" on this topic are on a bigger, better, redder and faster bandwagon than any of you people have ever jumped on against each other around here.

I think they are just afraid of the cube head, the ruler noise just makes them look up without preperation and they see the head and s*** themselves.

In other news, I dont see why its a problem. Long as there isnt actual long-term damage done its kosher. I think that the shock of a smack is the effective part, not actually really hurting them.

kid misbehaves, I say thwack that f***er with a wooden spoon. all the softcocks these days taking away a parents right to discipline their children, no wonder the world is full of girly f*****s.

female students asking for his number

I'd smack them.... later.

what whoop said.

I support smacking children 100%.

The most important thing is consistancy. Like one warning, then the smack. Whatever the punishment is, the most important thing is to make sure it's the same every time. The biggest problem I see these days is that parents nag and beg their kids to behave, then after an undetermined period of time, give a smack. The parents then appologise to the kid. WTF?

Sure, SOME kids can be raised without needing to be smacked. Children who misbehave need to be smacked.

Everybody needs to get the latest episode of South Park, Tsst. "Don't reason with it, don't argue with it, just DOMINATE it."

A few cigar burns will set the kid straight.

http://easybakejews.com/macrochan/source/X7WKNTZGJAVXZDRD4CGG2UXWJLKHP4C3.jpg

you'd have sex with michael jackson? me too!

I think that discipline, within reason, is acceptable. However, what different people consider as ‘reasonable’ is probably more at issue.

IMO, open handed smack on the bum I think can be justified in most circumstances but hitting around the head/ face I would almost most certainly not condone. Nor would I accept the bruising of children.

I guess it is up to the parents and how they wish to discipline their children. When it transgresses into the realm of domestic violence i think the problem is real and serious. I guess the law to some extent helps us to define what is and is not acceptable but I think those cases where kids sue parents for seemingly minor offences is ridiculous.

forget smacking, bring out the rattan cane and show the kid true terror...

Velvet
Forum Posts: 712
AGN Total: 715
Location: Brisbane, Queensland

Mother of god...
I had to check the date stamps, thought I had been tricked into posting in an ancient and revived thread when I saw that.

cainer knows where its at.

Frikken if any parents bothered doing a course or a few subjects on child psychology/development of the brain they could see how noobish some of the stupid things they say are

It's like why aren't 5 year olds ready for sex or whatever else, its umm because they havent mentally or physically developed? Why the same for teenagers if they are physically developed? Umm because they don't have enough life experience to deal with the consequences?

Yet adults are stupid enough to think that children have the same reasoning capacity as them, even though kids go running about and doing stupid things all the time. Umm no offence but if they could reason so well, they wouldn't need to try out all the dumb things for themselves. Be great if you could just give a kid a book on life lessons and never worry about them again but er der... you can't.

Old people say youth is wasted on the young, frikken pot kettle, if 30, 40, 50 all humans don't have adequate capacity for reason think of the poor kids who's brain is still growing.

Pavlovian/Classical conditioning is great stuff, even animals get it. so whats wrong with using it on kids? When they get older you can reason with them, I seemed to stop getting spanked/hit when I reached the 10/11 year old mark because I seemed to understand what was right and wrong and could be reasoned with.

Which gets me further annoyed with kids who get up to terrible things getting a clear criminal record when they turn 18 or getting lighter sentencing than adults. What a crock, I could fully reason since about 10/11 and know its bad to kill another kid or go shooting everyone or throwing bricks from overpasses at cars going underneath. But I chose not to do those things, why can't other people...

I dont have kids, and I dont pretend to be a professional on the subject, but I will say this. After years of babysitting and childcare experiencing Ive observed the fine line in disciplining children. Not whether or not its right/wrong to smack kids, but the attitude of the parent in the act.
If the parent is calm, collected and able to explain to the child what they have done wrong, that its not acceptable behavior and that the smack is a convequence of their action, then thats a lesson.
If a parent loses their cool and the smack comes from emotion, losing your temper and anger then that just breeds fear. I know at my age if I upset/disappoint my parents then the whole guilt factor comes into play. No such emotion for a little person, they just get afraid and if not explained properly - wont understand and theres no lesson to be learnt. Not the right lesson and not the right way anyway.

Had a bit of a run-in with one of the chicks here at work after relating a story in which my son received (3 years old) a smack over the weekend for spitting on me.

If I spat on my mother, at any age, she would have beat the living s*** out of me. That might have been a reason why I wouldn't have dreamed it.

But if i can smash a 1m classroom ruler over a desk making a huge noise to control a bunch of 40 year 1 kids then you can make your child stop spitting without hitting them

But do you have any real control? What would happen if a kid spat on you and told you that you f***ed goats? You’d send them to the office right and they would deal with it or they would send them home, right? Who has the real power of control now? Parents do.

Who do parents send their kids to? The sarcastic response is ‘to school’, but in essence parents (should) have to maintain strict control otherwise things are just s***.

I’m guessing you’re not at a bad school (like Inala West). Even so, let’s see how well your fagot ruler goes against 40 yr 7 students.


last edited by typo at 19:39:56 09/May/06

old but says it all:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

dude dont listen to those pussies, smacking your kids is absolutely fine.

Whenever i got way out of line my dad backhanded me, what was the result? I didn't get out of line again, problem solved.

All these f***s with their new age anti-smacking bulls*** is retarded, its why we have a new generation of f***wit teenagers who have no respect for anyone and the parents have no control what so ever.

I'm completely against physical discipline, if you can't reason with a kid, you're probably downs syndrome.

they become just as bad as the kid imo.

wtf?

this is probably a good way to teach your kids that it's ok to misbehave in public. kids are absolute masters at exploiting inconsistencies in your discipline

If you're not prepared to do it in public, you shouldn't be doing it at all...

childrens brains arent wired to be able to reason until they are around 5 or 6 years old. trying to talk sense to a kid will go out the window 5 minutes later when they are being a smartarse again. a smack gets better results.

You can't have dealt with many normal kids then, kids are reasoning machines from foetus.

In this case it was pretty instinctive and to be entirely honest a pissed off move. The thing is that as pissed off as I was (and you can imagine how much being spat on pisses you off) he was still my son so he obviously didn't get a serious beating, and hitting him made me feel like a right prick for ages - much longer than he was upset by it!

I think this is the crux of the problem, if you're hitting your kids as a testosterone provoked vent, more to release your own anger at the situation than to actually "reason" with them, get help, or estrogen pills.

You can't have dealt with many normal kids then, kids are reasoning machines from foetus.

ahahha

your kidding right jmr?

please tell me your kidding right?

It's taken me a while to reply to this thread because i was trying to get my head around the bulls*** that sounded like it was coming out of your co-workers mouth.

My father and my best mate combined, what more could i ask for, i have one of the best relationships with my father that anyone could have, he has always diciplined me for disrespect by giving me a smack some of them not always light, he's even slapped me in the face for saying something really disrespectful to him which at the time i hated him for and never wanted to talk to him again, then a day later my respect for him rose so much higher and i realised where i went wrong and how i shouldn't of done that. I believe the reason me and my dad get along so well is the amount of respect i have for him, and i would not have had the respect if he tried talking to me everytime i was in the wrong, kids don't have the same thought processes as adults and they think they're getting away with it if you don't clobber them.

Spitting, IMHO is one of the most disgusting forms of disrespect possible and your child deserved what you gave them, and by the sounds of it, it wasn't all that much anyway, i know of a time i'd had to teach a guy on the football field a lesson in respect for spitting in my face and it wasn't a light smack.

Can you imagine if your co-worker was over and your child spat in her face, i'm sure she wouldn't be so leanient.

I'm not a parent myself, but i know,understand and appreciate the difficulties of being a parent and wholeheartedly respect your decisions on how to effectively dicipline your child, and don't let anyone tell you a different way, if you want to smack, then smack, if you don't want to then don't. I agree that probably a little of both talking to the child and a smack would work better then just the latter, but as i said children don't have the same thought processes and therefore need some form of diciplined instilled so they don't think they're getting away with it.

Also before my mother got remarried, my brother was a bit of a problem child who had no respect for my mother at all, when i went to visit i had to act as the fatherly figure and most of the time i was there he would hate me for making him brush his teeth, and not hit my mother and clean up etc etc. if there's one thing i have never done it's raised a hand to my mother and i never would, for my at the time 8year old brother to do so, was a great form of disrespect and i came down on him hard for it, he may of hated me at the time, but once he realised he was in the wrong, he looked up to me like an older brother once again. Now that he's got a stepdad he's feet are alot firmly planted on the ground and he doesn't get away with anything.

Don't get to worried about it, i'm sure you're an excellent father who's just doing the best he can for his child.



last edited by маvєяık at 12:04:32 10/May/06

i also disagree with the "angry smacking is wrong" thing, holy s*** when i saw my dads face go red i knew to get the hell out of his warpath because i did something not so good hahah..

kids are reasoning machines from foetus.

yes indeed. i know i went from 'i think therefore i am' to solving quadratic equations before i reasoned that 9 months were up & it was time to leave the womb. but my head got a bit squished on the way out & some masked fukr slapped me on the arse n broke my concentration & i probably forgot it all ... until just now! :P

heh, reasoning machines. :D

If they missbehave badly enough smack em. Let them know they are in the wrong. If they do something good then reward them. Simple

Then what happens when they get out into the social world and they do something good and don't get rewarded? And do something bad, and don't get punished? Its not simple. However you discipline kids, the most important thing is to make sure they understand why its happening. Its like s***forbrains who beat up their animals to teach them a lesson ages after they've done something wrong - wtf is that going to achieve except personal gratification at being superior to another entity.

Kids may not be able to reason too early on in their lives, but they can have a rudimentary understanding of social justice, especially in relation to things that are important to them. If your child trusts you, then you should be able to impart on them an understanding of why and how the things they do effect others. This only works however if the parents actually show that they themselves care about the needs of others, which is so rare that the theory that underpins what I'm saying is almost useless. Thats the real problem here - if you expect your child to respect and listen to you, you've got to be a person who will respect and listen to others, including your child.

last edited by AnaRoT at 14:56:50 10/May/06