Dear Christmas Shoppers!

Please stand to the left on escalators and travellators (hereafter referred to as LPTDs for Lazy Person Transport Device) when you are using these magical devices that allow you to get from Point A to Point B without having to move your lazy ass. There are those of us that have better things to do with their lives than be transported at 0.01km/h to our destination and prefer to actually walk along them.

Of course, this isn't just a Christmas phenomenon. I've seen you do it all through the year, its just at Christmas time, its even worse because there are so many other damn people that we have to dodge in order to carry out our business. While I appreciate that it is really hard to do, if you spend one nanosecond thinking about other people and your surroundings, you'll be doing the world a favour.

Here's a handy guide to common activities that annoy me:

1) People standing smack back in the middle of the LPTD. This is such a jerk thing to do it almost seems to be done after a cold, hard period of calculating exactly how to be the most annoying person in the world.

2) A couple holding hands aligned perfectly perpendicularly to the movement of the LPTD. It's so sweet that you guys are together, but by doing that you're creating a roadblock of puppy love that is backing up traffic.

3) A parent with a child, the parent usually gazing blissfully off into space while the child politely stands next to them. Kudos to the kid for being well behaved and staying close to their parent, but c'mon mums and dads, your kid is in the way. (These ones are even more annoying because the child occupies a volume much less than an adult, so it is basically the least amount of space that can be used to stop your passage).

4) People with a trolley, stroller, or other wheeled device - for some reason these guys think whatever they're wheeling is SO HUGE that they might as well sprawl it diagonally across the LPTD. These things AREN'T THAT BIG - if you STAY TO THE LEFT (just like those helpful signs advise), you'll leave enough room on the side for regular people to walk past you.

5) Groups of young girls (usually, though young guys are sometimes offenders) that form a thrombosis on the artery that is the LPTD. Standing around chatting in shopping centres sure is fun.

People seem to take it as a personal affront if you walk up behind them and politely say "excuse me", like you're implying that they're some sort of incredibly rude, thoughtless asshat! They look at your like you're a complete raving PSYCHO - "What, you want to WALK when there's a machine to do it FOR YOU? Are you MAD! You could just be standing here like me letting all those kilojoules I had for lunch pile up without any danger of them getting burned off."

Keep to the left!

i agree. and if you are at toowong and go down the two sets of travelators to the car park, and you are pushing a trolley, WAIT AT THE END OF THE FIRST ONE SO PEOPLE TRYING TO GET THROUGH CAN GO AHEAD DOWN THE NEXT ONE

it pisses me off how they can cut you off and slow your time 10 fold

People that don't stand to the left are no-talent ass-clowns. If people in Sydney can do it, then people up here can.

yeah, I just say excuse me and push through :) No time to wait on those damn things.

In summary, keep to the left or be (politely) pushed out of the way

you should be a pedestrian traffic cop trog.

failing to stay left = 3 points + $180 fine.

Failing to stay left = BANNED!

take a deep breathe, count to 10 .which ever its not hard to stand still for a min is it.

Every time i've said excuse me to a escalator blocker, they have always been apologetic and moved to the side straight away. Maybe you're not saying it in a friendly tone if you keep getting the 'you're a psycho' look.

People doing their shopping tend to have their mind on things other than contemporary escalator etiquette, cut them a bit of slack.


last edited by korbs at 11:46:45 19/Dec/05

I have to go shopping tonight

And what's with the attitude that having a child in a pram gives you the god given right to do whatever you feel like in a shopping centre. Actions include but not limited to;

- Consuming the entire walking pathway by your pram AND FAT ASS.
- Letting your children wander all over the f*** and not providing adequate supervision.
- Guiding your pram and thenr amming it into other innocent bystanders simple because they are "in the way and should move for you".
- Getting s***ty and producing the scowl face to legitimate shoppers who are purchasing items but can't control your kids and therefore you get all upset at them and lower the general standard of FUN within a 5m radius of you.

nah you're just impatient & rack dishaprin trog!... the time you took out from you URGENT schedule to make this post about this (this is the 2nd now by you about travelators from memory) would probably account for the same ammount of time that you spent fuming impatiently behind several completely indifferent regular shoppers. use the fire stairs if your such a sucker you gotta use your own legs when there is a machine provided to defeat gravity for you. :D

That kid is BACK on the escalator!

keep left everywhere, not just on the esculators. dont stop suddenly to pick your fat arse. dont shoulder barge someone in a sling because they just had a shoulder reconstruction and it hurts like hell, but my other arm still works fine...

While you're at it, learn to drive in the left lane you dirty queenslanders!

Every time i've said excuse me to a escalator blocker, they have always been apologetic and moved to the side straight away. Maybe you're not saying it in a friendly tone if you keep getting the 'you're a psycho' look.

People doing their shopping tend to have their mind on things other than contemporary escalator etiquette, cut them a bit of slack.

To be fair, most people do get out of the way nicely - often they just don't realise they're blocking it off. But that's part of the thing that annoys me - they're not paying attention to their surroundings when they're in a situation that might inconvenience others!

And what's with the attitude that having a child in a pram gives you the god given right to do whatever you feel like in a shopping centre. Actions include but not limited to;

haha, I would like to add to your list: - running into a friend and stopping in the middle of the aisle for a chat. That happened to me at Indro on Saturday.

nah you're just impatient & rack dishaprin trog!.

ahahah!@#

I'm not even in a rush, I was just strolling around Indooroopilly after breakfast doing my usual Saturday routine of going to look at bookshops.

shopping in the city is so much easier than shopping at indro. so prepared to pay 7-8 bucks for parking for that convenience

What about the families that think it's ok to spread out while walking along? You've got the seats and bins in the middle while either side is for traffic moving each direction and you get the people that stay on one side taking up the entire lane thingy.

That's the type of thing that gets on my gander!

i satisfy all my shopping needs at carindale.

i seem to recall an archaic australian law that said that 3 people walking abreast down a public thuroughfare constituted a riot and police were able to use force to 'break it up'...

perhaps it should be reinstated, eh trog ?

what about those that are the size of 3 people?

FIRE UP!

i seem to recall an archaic australian law that said that 3 people walking abreast down a public thuroughfare constituted a riot and police were able to use force to 'break it up'...

perhaps it should be reinstated, eh trog ?

All I know is, all those police on Sydney beaches could have been more gainfully employeed keeping people off escalators and travellators

i hate people who tend to have trouble getting of "LPTDs". ie they either have trouble with the simple concept of getting of a moving step to a stationery step (generally our older generation :( ). or when the people who have no trouble with this concept, but will prefer to plan the next 5 years of their life within 30cm of the exit of the LPTD all the while others are trying get off it (normally packs of youths or redneck families making the annual big trip into town). worst of the lot are people who do both.

yeah, policing this race riot nonsense. what a waste.

Completely agrees with Trog and TicMan. The best way to prevent this and also get some serious laughes is take a hand held air horn with you. >:D

Blocking of LPTD's is quite selfish indeed even if unintentional.

What about Lifts? Any unpleasent experiences with those? Ever been caught out by some bastard not holding the door for you?

Much thanks to trog for raising the valid points of escalator usage. However, it does seem like everyone that I just had the inconvience of being with in the city read these rules and decided not to obey them.

take a hand held air horn

So what I need to know is where the best place to get one is?

What about Lifts? Any unpleasent experiences with those? Ever been caught out by some bastard not holding the door for you?

personally, if you dont rush i dont wait. there are always other lifts. i dont expect people to hold the lift for me, and i dont get annoyed about it if the dont. of course if you are hot chick i might consider holding an elevator.

What about Lifts? Any unpleasent experiences with those?

Oh boy have i ever, the stories i could tell.

Well, we've got all afternoon so let us hear some.

Groups of young girls that form a thrombosis on the artery that is the LPTD

Only good thing about this is if your lower on the escalator than them and there wearing short skirts!

yeah i'm up for some good elevator stories.

I hope his pants get caught and a bloodbath ensues!

Although I wasn't aware of this keep left rule for escalators I always kept left because thats the side I lean on while my lazy ass gets a free ride so my laziness in fact supports your need to rush around like a blue assed fly on speed.

I have no qualms about waiting behind people on escalators as it takes tops 20 seconds to reach the destination which is f*** all really considering the bs amount of time people waste standing in a shop making up their minds what f***ing s*** they want to buy.

People who spend a minute or 2 fishing around for money that has clearly been stated when they picked up the item and could have had it ready when they walk to the counter is what pisses me off ... f***ing time wasting ass monkeys.
When you get 3-5 people do this in front of you there goes 5-10 minutes...
Get in, have the correct money ready, get the f*** out, it's just that simple f***ers!

last edited by Xy at 16:15:06 19/Dec/05

5) Groups of young girls (usually, though young guys are sometimes offenders) that form a thrombosis on the artery that is the LPTD. Standing around chatting in shopping centres sure is fun.

And cool in summer! lol.

Completely agree with you here though.

People seem to take it as a personal affront if you walk up behind them and politely say "excuse me", like you're implying that they're some sort of incredibly rude, thoughtless asshat! They look at your like you're a complete raving PSYCHO - "What, you want to WALK when there's a machine to do it FOR YOU? Are you MAD! You could just be standing here like me letting all those kilojoules I had for lunch pile up without any danger of them getting burned off."

Keep to the left!

Completely agree with you again. I thought standing to the left in any kind of an aisle was a common courtesy (???). I hate having to say "excuse me" ONLY to be given a strange look by the person in front of me, as if to suggest I'm an impatient Albanian trigger-happy terrorist with a twitch or something. Maybe they should be teaching these common courtesies alongside sex-ed in schools or something...

"Maybe they should be teaching these common courtesies alongside sex-ed in schools or something..."

Sex ed at my school.
[True story]Teacher: How much semen does a man normally ejaculate?
Smartass student: A litre miss![/True story]
Then teacher yells: KEEP TO THE LEFT!!!

i spent about 25mins this morning in a big line of traffic because of roadworks... which was a bit annoying but hardly enough to make a whinge thread about ;] just enjoyed the air-con & selected some nice tunes! that 25mins was probably more than all the times anyone here has spent waiting for people on escalators combined. so it's not really the 'wasted time' that you all are complaining about... it's the perception that someone is holding you up... the perception that someone feels thier time is more important than yours.
that these perceptions can evoke such criticisms & complaints from so many people just goes to show that our society is so safe, so self-satisfying & so unchallenging to our psyches that we have to complain about the trivial things that really make no difference at all to our day to day lives. :D

i've never had it happen yet but if someone politely asks me to move aside on an escalator because it's speed is insufficient for thier motive requirements i am going to respond 'you are totally excused! however i must point out that by the time i have finished replying to your polite request for me to move sufficiently for you to pass me by on this already automated transport we will have arrived at it's end making your request totally superfluous! next time perhaps you will consider being patient!'
or i'll give them the psycho stare... yeah probably the psycho stare. :D

how about pushing them off the side of the escalator they are blocking and watching them fall 15 metres into a water fountain below which has been switched off due to the drought, breaking their neck in the process.

works extremely well here. dont blame the noobs tho, i never knew about it or even thought about it back in oz. get some stickers made up, and just start plastering stations ext. the message will spread.

was in london and they are crazy, on escalators its stand to the right but on stairs its stand to the left, was freakin confusing, ppl spo rude there they just scream and push u until u move, but yeait does get ennoying when ppl take up the middle. i dont care if its left or right, aslong as i can get passed im happy.

tell them you're in a hurry to get on qgl and post about how slow you were forced to walk

was in london and they are crazy, on escalators its stand to the right but on stairs its stand to the left

its all extremely well signed tho

yea that s*** really gets my s*** cooking just thinking about it. but in real life its no biggie because all i do i walk right up behind them on the right hand side and every time they'll turn say sorry and move to the left. np
however
fuk you dawdlers, floating around as if space itself is your own personal backyard.
eyes glazing over whatever happens to be above and infront of you, floating slowly round in the middle of the walkway taking up as much space as posible talking/yelling? your stupid foreign dribble seemly as loud as you can muster

Maybe you're not saying it in a friendly tone if you keep getting the 'you're a psycho' look.

its the bandana dude.. ;)

yea fully, my problem with it is that if im at a shopping centre im there for a reason, to get what i want and get out.
so to dawdle like a dawf.

but the main thing that gets me is how people can have no idea of their surroundings, no idea of they may be infact accually annoying/impeding or just plain old in the f***ing way. asians have this down pat. they have absolutely no knowledge in any way shape or form that there is a world around them. its like some huge dream with lots of little dreams inside it. and im so god damn good i can do no wrong.

This thread just goes to show how pedantic and petty we are as a species, we all deserve to diaf :)

Ok Trog, one better (didn't read all pages may have been listed) the escalator heading up to central rail station thats about 3-4 stories in height. When one person stands on the right hand side you cause a blockage that can involve queuing of 4 stories of people PLUS a backlog of people waiting just to get on the damned thing.

i'd pull out a man sized tissue, but trog would probably send me to band camp for that :)

and if you think that's bad, in singapore, they even have signs that say "keep left" on the escalators, but it still dosen't work. i swear that the majority of the people there are either blind, can't read, can't tell left-from right, total asshats, and/or all of the above.

OK you primitive screwheads listen up, cos I'm only gonna say this once.

Staying left on escalators, stairs, travellators, freeways, and corridors is the tip of the iceberg.

Do me a favour.
Think about where you are. It is easy if you open your f***ing eyes and ears. You do not live in a void, vaccuum or protected sphere.
You are responsible for your physical body. Please refrain from leaving it in areas where it will cause others inconvenience, distress, unnecessary physical exertion or otherwise impede the day-to-day existence of your fellow human beings.

Look behind you, and to the side every now and again.

You are not (as you no doubt imagine) the one for whom the entire world turns. Upsetting as this realisation is, please try to compose yourself and take other people's physical space into account.

DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT stand within ten centimatres of me EVER. We are not friends. We do not know each other. Unless you are some 19 year old girlie with a hankering for some man-pole, I don't want to smell you. Or touch you. Or feel like if I moved suddenly I would touch you. Step the f*** back.

This is true in supermarket lines, waiting for the ATM, at the bar etc etc. You won't get served, get on the bus, or get your ghey man's cocktail any quicker if you stand on the back of my shoes with your cock nestled in the small of my back. If you do not heed this warning, I will have no choice but pretend to stretch and elbow you in your f***ing face.

I have personal space. It is not large. It is not excessive. But it is mine.
Like the sign says "Keep the f*** out."



last edited by IncrEdible_vEgetable at 01:32:30 20/Dec/05

Very well said I V. Specially the bit about personal space.

DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT stand within ten centimatres of me EVER.

i feel the sudden urge to leave you on a train in japan during rush hour just to see what would happen. :)

hahaha! ditto.. u must live half way between Barney and Springherst, and not in what we call towns. Nice rant, but if i ever saw you carring 4 pints at a bar, i would have no choice but to drop my shoulder into you.

Hahaha, you should come to London trog, here its pretty much an offence to not stand on the right if your just riding it out, everyone keeps right.

Edit: i mix my lefts and rights up alot...

last edited by Viper119 at 06:08:18 20/Dec/05

how bout when u guys are not working..

take a chill pill.. y the need to rush around...

Hahaha, you should come to London trog, here its pretty much an offence to not stand on the right if your just riding it out, everyone keeps right.

Its like that in Japan, too. I remember being on the escalators in Kyoto train station (there's this massive sequence of them) and being amazed that all the people on them were in this tidy line all up the left hand side. Awesome.

Well you see it's not the saved or lost time that's the issue guys, it's just that people like trog (and myself) can't stand inconsiderate and/or ignorant f***wits.

Here's another one:

Why in the hell do people leave their broken down cars in the middle of the f***ing road in peak hour? This causes huge traffic problems for 2-3 hours after the event. Do they see the temp needle slowly creeping up to unsafe levels and go, oh s***, I better just whack my hazard lights on and sit here on my f***ing phone pretending to talk to someone while avoiding eye contact with the people for whom I've just spoilt afternoon plans and wasted fuel? Why exactly do they not pull off the side of the road or even on to the pavement?

If their car doesn't start it is a bit hard, how about having less tears and maybe helping to push?

so where do those queue jumping motorbike riders figure in all of this?

If their car doesn't start it is a bit hard, how about having less tears and maybe helping to push?

Love to, except like I said they lock themselves in their car, windows up and avoiding any eye contact. If they got out and made it obvious they were keen to push the car off the road, they'd straight away have multiple people willing to help out.

I have helped push broken down vehicles off the road before and would of course do it again.

I think keep left in general is called for. Hate people who walk on their right straight at other people and just expect them to move.

If you were on your left you wouldn't be walking into anyone.

And seriously, what's the deal with airline food?

What ever happened to people running up the wrong escalator?

Man I used to do it all the time when I was a kid.. I think I'm going to have to go do it today now that I'm on holidays.

*added to to-do list*


last edited by gimpy at 14:59:04 20/Dec/05

Some inconsiderate woman today sees me walking down the left hand side of the footpath and shes walking down her left hand side ... great all is good but noooo she decides even after having looked up and seen me aproaching with plenty of room to stay left and avoid running into me to star veering across just enough so as to block all ways passed her.

So I swing across to the right at the last moment to where there is now more room to walk and she still almost walks right into me and then gives "me" the dirty look when I tried to avoid walking into her meandering waddle.

I wanted to smack her over the head with a large piece of wood but it's just not as easy to get away with teaching stupid ignorant people how to behave in real life as it is in games (gta) :/

On second thoughts how is it possible to block the path like that? you almost would have to actively aim for the other person to do it like she did ... maybe she was f***ing with me.
I might have to go bash the 50+ year old after all.

(generally our older generation :( )

You're mentally challenged to not see why older people have this difficulty aren't you?

Wait till you're older and you don't have the balance, co-ordination, muscle tone and agility to perform said task without having to make it an effort.

Why in the hell do people leave their broken down cars in the middle of the f***ing road in peak hour? This causes huge traffic problems for 2-3 hours after the event. Do they see the temp needle slowly creeping up to unsafe levels and go, oh s***, I better just whack my hazard lights on and sit here on my f***ing phone pretending to talk to someone while avoiding eye contact with the people for whom I've just spoilt afternoon plans and wasted fuel? Why exactly do they not pull off the side of the road or even on to the pavement?

That's what you see.

The real story probably isn't so black and white.
Cars don't always give warning as to when they're going to give up, snapped timing chain while sitting at the lights waiting to go?
Maybe they only just broke down and were calling in help?

If you've never broken down in such a situation then dont even bother trying to make assumptions on their situation.
If you've never been in a situation where you can think "wow this is totally innocent but f*** i can see how this would look to others" then you're the one probably not considering others.

last edited by Loki at 17:15:20 20/Dec/05

often it isnt safe to push a car to the pavement in rush hour traffic, by yourself, stop and offer to help them push?

asif you would whinge about something like this, i just tell them to move and if they dont i keep walking shoving them out of the road. or if there too wide to move ill stand behind them making grunting noises and performing rude gestures with my hands.

its common decency to stand to the left and anyone who doesnt deserves to be shoved out of the way by those who need to travel fast.

Cars don't always give warning as to when they're going to give up, snapped timing chain while sitting at the lights waiting to go?

Yeah, cars happily run as if nothing in the world is wrong, and then their timing chains snap.

I guess I expect people to have a little initiative or take notice of things around them. How inconsiderate of me.

Yeah, cars happily run as if nothing in the world is wrong, and then their timing chains snap.

Never had one snap, clearly.

And yep, that's exactly how one snapped for me, started to take off, absolutely no problems what so ever and then just suddenly the engine died and it could not start, turned out to be timing chain/belt.

Ever ridden a bike and the chain snaps? I've done that too, no problems, pedal along all is normal and then suddenly you've got no resistance whatsoever.
They don't necessarily give warning, they just snap.
(and how often do YOU pull your timing chain off to inspect it? never like I thought)

You clearly are inconsiderate because you don't consider other peoples predicaments and how they may have gotten there.

You sir, are exactly one of the people you so despise.

last edited by Loki at 10:10:55 21/Dec/05

i need to walk at a rate of 20km/hr because i'm so important. should you impede on my speedwalking i'll knock you down negro

according to that gif with the black sprinter, its the negro that knocks YOU down

You clearly are inconsiderate because you don't consider other peoples predicaments and how they may have gotten there.

Perhaps, but I certainly try not to make it everyone else's problem. I don't really care how they got into a predicament, it's more what they do then to minimise causing problems for other people that's important.

I find it odd you didn't hear any obvious timing chain noise which is the usual predicate to catastrophic failure. Or there was no increasingly frequent adjustments of the chain tensioner, indicating the stretching that leads to failure?

Anyway, you're taking my comments out of context; obviously I don't expect someone whose car has suddenly had a conrod punch a hole in the block to happily drive their car into a side street. I would expect however that they make a reasonable effort to move the car out of the way providing it is safe to do so, or attempt to enlist the help of others if they are not capable themselves. If this sort of bulls*** wasn't a problem, you wouldn't see breakdown fines in place in many cities of the world.

You live in a magical fairyland where everybody helps others who need help.

I find it odd you expect to necessarily hear any 'obvious' timing chain noise when it's something that can snap without warning.
As I said, I refer it to the bicycle chain, they can snap after working for X years simply due to metal fatigue from old age without prior warning or need to adjust any tension on it.

I'm not taking your comments out of context, you clearly are the inconsiderate one who probably doesn't stop to help push.

Love to, except like I said they lock themselves in their car, windows up and avoiding any eye contact. If they got out and made it obvious they were keen to push the car off the road, they'd straight away have multiple people willing to help out.

Because obviously you're so considerate that you didn't stop to think that they're embarassed or if you really cared to help you would stop and actually go up to their car and tap of the window and ask if they'd like help.

make it obvious they were keen to push the car? Doesn't always make a difference, some peopel would prefer to not get hit by another car in traffic, or some people just don't have the strength to even begin to push a car or hold it in place (some girls?) or too scared that the car is too heavy to do so.

The point is, there is a million and one reasons why someone could be doing what they're doing.
You only have one, that they are deliberately being 'inconsiderate' trying to f*** you and everybody elses day over and make you wait.

As for the escalators, people do things without realising (people can have alot on their mind, and I call bulls*** if you've never been pre-occupied with a thought that you didn't consider where you are walking/standing etc.) , if you simply say excuse me and they move what's the problem? If they give you the dirty look as trog suggested then ok, different story.

Get some more people skills and understanding (directed at only a few).

Oh noes! I agree with something Loki says :(

Well you're at the other end of the scale, assuming people are generally good and could only possibly inconvenience you unknowingly or out of grave misfortune. Stop being so touchy feely and emotional, people are generally arseholes out to get what they want as quickly as possible, and f*** everyone else :)

qgl, always tackling the big issues

Oh noes! I agree with something Loki says :(

It's the end of the world as we know it, do you feel fine? :)

last edited by Loki at 11:49:52 21/Dec/05

Well you see it's not the saved or lost time that's the issue guys, it's just that people like trog (and myself) can't stand inconsiderate and/or ignorant f***wits.

So true. My other pet hate: Idiots who aren't aware of their surroundings. That includes people who are behind them, or next to them.

Turn, move, THEN look seems to be their rule.

Crowd of people moving at a consistent pace? No problem, just stop suddenly without looking behind you. Better yet, stop, walk backwards because you saw something interesting, but don't look behind you to see who's there.

Trolley in the aisle of a supermarket? Looking for something on the shelf? Put the trolley in front of you as you stand opposite it, blocking the aisle. Better yet, walk it down the middle of an aisle.

i need to walk at a rate of 20km/hr because i'm so important. should you impede on my speedwalking i'll knock you down negro

You don't have the right to tell me what to do, or impede that. Do what you want, so long as it DOES NOT affect others!



In short, people are inconsiderate f***ing morons who only care about themselves and are oblivous to even the existence of others at times.

quotes for hipocrisy !

people are generally arseholes out to get what they want as quickly as possible, and f*** everyone else :)

yeh! you are one of em!

In short, people are inconsiderate f***ing morons who only care about themselves and are oblivous to even the existence of others at times.

yeh! you are one of em!

quotes fixed for truth !

I don't really care how they got into a predicament, it's more what they do then to minimise causing problems for other people ME ME ME ME ME ME ! that's important.

You don't have the right to tell me what to do, or impede that. Do what you want, so long as it DOES NOT affect others! ME ME ME ME ME!

whiney c***s!

I hate it when people get to the end of the escalator and then just stand there looking aroudn going "where do i go now??" meanwhile everyone behind them starts panicking about where they're going to land when they get to the bottom.

It's especially bad at ski slopes too

It's also like that at the far side of your mum's bed.

LAWL!